Thursday, December 22, 2016

This is 30

It's been a week since i waved a tearful goodbye to my 20s. I'm still trying to adjust. I feel like i became an old woman overnight. I didn't even celebrate it. Which was as much of a surprise to me as it was to everyone else. I mean, if you had asked me 6mos ago what i was doing for the dirty30 (or flirty30 as Toin called it lol), i would've had a laundry list of ideas.

Oh well.

It turned out to be just another Thursday.

Got up, got myself together. Went to work. Ironically, we had our annual town hall meeting so that meant free breakfast:

and a 'holiday' token of appreciation:

I treated myself to California Pizza Kitchen for lunch since it was actually payday too. (what a birthday wake up to money in your bank account)

When i got back from lunch, i found my cubicle like this:


I did make plans to go to the spa that weekend but that didn't come to fruition. I did however get pretty much all my Christmas shopping done that weekend so there's that.

Happy Holidays everyone.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Shoot Your Shot

Cuffing Season is well underway.

But if the season isn't going so well, not panning out the way you planned, or if you've hit a snafu...never fear.

November 18th is the official Shoot Your Shot Day. Your last ditch attempt at locking down a holiday season sweetie. (Or your chance to grow a pair and holla at that cutie you've been eyeing all this while)

So go ahead. Slide into some DMs....

Send out those "hey stranger" texts. 

May the odds ever be in your favor!

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

Beware of Open Windows

During the daylight hours, I leave my blinds open and let natural light shine through my apartment. Truth be told, i just prefer it to wasting electricity using lights when its not yet dark outside. Today was no different.

Out the window in my living room, I can see the patio of another apartment across the...idk, i'll call it a courtyard for simplicity sake.

I'm not 100% sure if anyone actually lives in that apartment unit. I never see anyone over there. And i never see the lights on in the living room. But recently, there's been a growing pile of junk on the patio.

I assumed maybe someone had moved out and the maintenance staff were doing a trash out and/or flipping the unit.

So imagine my surprise today when i'm sitting watching tv and i start seeing all these people climbing in and around the patio. There was one guy in particular that caught my eye. When everyone else had walked away, he hung around, looking very suspicious. Very shifty.

And happened.

Homeboy whipped it out (and when i say out, it was ALL THE WAY out) and started peeing.


My blinds are all the way open!

Can you not see me seeing you?

And i'm no expert in public male urination but why does your WHOLE d1ck need to be out to pee?


Just awful.

Word to the wise, if you must pee in public, beware of open windows. Unless of course you have no shame.

I would make a pervy comment about my observation but i'm a good girl so i'll keep it to myself.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Monday, June 20, 2016

Yo Daddy

Yesterday was Father's Day. Shoutout to all the fathers, yo!

And as it was father's day, lots of people were posting pics/selfies/tributes to their pappies.

I can't be the only one scrolling through my various social media accounts and having to resist the urge to ask:

"um...are your mama and your daddy still together? Cuz yo daddy fine as hayle!"

I refuse to believe i'm the only one thinkin this way.

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Great Predictor

I took one of those silly facebook quiz-type things and this was what i got:

I'll take it! lol

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Sippin on this Lemonade

I think what i like most about this whole Lemonade thing is that it has had so many different effects (affects? I never get those right lol) on people. I've seen think-pieces on Creole culture, colorism, racism, womanism, history lessons on Malcolm X, tales of the Igbo Landing and the lyrical styling of Warsan Shire.

Sure, there were those who were hung up on trying to figure out if "becky with the good hair" is really Rachel Roy (not Rachel Ray, although that was a hilarious mistake for the twitter history books) or if this was the inspiration behind Solange's street fighter antics in the elevator.

At this point, I think Lemonade has evolved from whatever it was Beyonce and co set out for it to be and has truly taken on a life of its own.

Which only makes me wonder even more- what exactly DID Beyonce want us to take from her work? And did she do me a solid and pay for my HBO because I promise you, i never had HBO before and when Lemonade dropped suddenly I had the ENTIRE HBO package!

Thursday, April 14, 2016

Forks and Knives

I have a friend of mine that continuously trying to convince me that he isn't ajebutter. Read our interaction and tell me what you think:

While visiting him at his crib:

Him: *randomly heating up food* "you hungry? I got meat pie here"


Him:*heat up a few and plates two for me and two for him* "you want a fork"

For what?!?

Him*awkward pause*..."idk, i always eat meatpie with a fork and knife


Him: "what?"

Me: Next you'll be telling me you eat fufu with a fork or spoon

Him: actually i do...


Monday, April 4, 2016

Love and Hip Hop Atlanta is back

I finally have something to do on Monday nights now...until Major Crimes comes back this summer. Thank goodness cuz i was definitely starting to get bored.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Adulting is Weird

I've been an adult for a while now. I was speaking with a friend a while back and he mentioned that he wanted to buy something nice for one of his lil ones because the kid did well on his exams. I said i did well on my exams too, so where is my gift? To which he responded that the last time i had written an exam Obama hadn't been re-elected yet. We laughed and of course i said that wasn't true...until i sat and thought about it. And dammit, it is true! The last exam i took/wrote was in July of 2012.

Have i really been doing this Adulting thing for that long?!?

Its still weird to me that every day i get up and get dressed and go to work. And that for the rest of my life thats likely what i'll do.

There are no more "spring/summer/winter breaks" where for 1-4 weeks i can sit around doing absolutely nothing. Now, during the school breaks...what i do for fun is dress causally at work since there are no students around. Well, except the workstudys.

And don't even get me started on the "grown-up people issues" i deal with. Auto financing loan rates, buying a house, life insurance policies, making my own doctors appointments. Bruh.

This Adulting thing is for the birds!

Monday, February 8, 2016

Won't He Do It

I was havin such an off day saturday. Found $5 but then lost $14. Went to throw my trash out and ended up locking my keys (and everything else) in my car...while it was running. Usually I have my house keys in my pocket *pats pockets* not today. So I go to the leasing office to get the master key so i can run back up to my place and grab my spare car keys...and there's only one staff member there and she's taking forever and a day with whomever she was meeting with. Eventually i got into my car and headed off. Went into work thinking i'd only be there for like 5 minutes...ended up staying there for an hour. Drove to Target...made the wrong turn and ended up sitting in traffic just to go around the corner. Then they didn't even have what i needed. Made a stop at my students' apartments to make sure they had cleaned such luck. Checked 4 apartments...all but 1 were a complete disaster. And the 1 that WASN'T a complete disaster was still a hot mess the trash can was missing. By now its like 3pm and I haven't even eaten. So i head over to this Jamaican spot i found down the street from my house when all of a sudden my car starts riding really funny. I'm so exasperated that I didn't even bother checking it when I got out to order my food.

When i got into the restaurant, the guy ahead of me was getting his food. His total came up to something and 52 cents. The lady at the counter asked if he had exact change (i assume she didn't have change in the know how these things go at small shops/mama put type places). He pulled out 25 cents and some pennies and said no. Overhearing, i offer the man the 3 dimes i have in my pocket. To say thank you, the guy paid for my food. I only wanted a pattie and something to drink so even though he offered to buy me a whole meal, thats all i took. When I got back outside, my car was fine. When i reached home, i found that $14 i lost this morning.

Ain't God Good?!?

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Did 2016 start out sucky for everyone?

The overwhelming consensus i've gotten is that we are officially starting the new year over this month lol. Everywhere i keep seeing people say that January was a trial run for 2016.

I can't say i don't agree. My January was...yeah. No bueno. I have no problem with February serving as our official start to 2016. Happy New Year everyone!!!!

If its any consolation to anyone, supposedly the reason why January was so wonky is because Mercury was retrograde. The bad news is that Mercury will be retrograde 3 more times this year.

As a service, these are the following dates that should be ruining your lives (if you buy into this kinda thing):
January 5-25
April 28-May22
August 30-September 22
December 19-31

Friday, January 29, 2016

With Somebody Who Loves Me

Last night i found myself on a trip down the Whitney Houston classic hits wormhole. And seeing as how its friday...and cold out (depending where you are), here's a little mood music for you!

When the night falls and loneliness calls, may we all have somebody to dance with that loves us. 

Have a good weekend everybody :)

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

The funny thing about #wastehistime2016

So we've all seen, laughed at (and participated) in this waste his time 2016 hashtag business. The funniest thing i've seen about this hashtag was that the menfolk decided to clapback with a hashtag of their own:


That, in and of itself, was not surprising because boys are stupid.

What was REALLY funny was that all the agenda points in their #wastehertime2016 campaign were things the typical yoruba demon male are already guilty of doing on a regular basis to begin with and the catalyst behind #wastehistime2016 from the get go.

Silly boys.

Monday, January 11, 2016

1.3 billion dollars

Thats the current jackpot for the Powerball.


What i wouldn't give to hit the number right about now.

It was 900 million dollars on saturday. I played. Numbers that a friend of mine gave me. I did not win. Not even $4. That friend has a swift ass-kicking coming to him.

What do you do with $1.3 billion? Where do you even keep it? Certainly not in a bank. FDIC only insures up to $250k last time i checked.

As i was hit with the Powerball frenzy over the weekend, i began giving serious thought to what the heck i'd do with 900million (only about 400million after taxes). Laughably, i said i'd still go to work. Probably not full-time but definitely part-time at least. if for no other reason than avoiding boredom.

Buuuuuuuut, even after i disappointingly crumbled up my ticket full of losing numbers, i said to myself that going to work after winning the damn lottery was a crock of bull lol.

I do have lots of ideas for how i'd spend that kind of money. What would you do if you won a substantial amount of money?

I for one intend to play Powerball again this week. Pray for me guys :)

Friday, January 1, 2016

2015 is done. Welcome to 2016!

Cliche post ahead

2015 was an interesting year...much like every other year of our existence. A lot of failures but also a lot of success. Growth and maturity, but setbacks and personal challenges. Made friends, lost friends. Looked back at what was but embraced what came as well.

2015 is over. Here's to bigger and better in 2016 for us all.