Tuesday, March 31, 2015

I'm so mad that i could scream

Until recently, that was just another dramatic, hyperbolic statement. But the other day. Man, make I tell you. I don't know what unearthly sound that was that escaped my mouth but jeez. Whomever came up with the statement i'm so mad i can scream....i can totally relate now! LOL


I don't even want to say I was mad. I don't usually get mad. I'm not even sure what mad really is. I do know that I get irritated/annoyed quite often. And my patience for foolishness is very thin. But is that the same thing as being upset? No, right?

Either way. I got so angry that I screamed. A loud and healthy scream. At least I was alone. And not in public, frightening small children and grown folks alike.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Interactions

We all know I live and work in Atlanta, right? Right. And we also know that outside of Maryland and Texas, Atlanta is like the Nigerian hub of the US, right? Right. So its only natural that I encounter Naija ppl...A LOT.

Tell me why NOBODY believes im Nigerian?!? LOL. Which is crazy to me because its like i literally went from everyone assuming i was born and semi-raised there to every one thinking I couldnt even point it out on a map. One guy, when I asked where he was from even replied that he was from Africa and that I probably wouldnt know the place.

The Nigerian in me as well as the African-American in me were equal parts insulted. First off, when did i lose whatever Nigerianess that I had? Second, do you really think all black (or non-african) people are so dense that they wouldnt know that Nigeria is a country in Africa? Bruh.

On the flip side, when I do encounter Nigerians that know i'm Nigerian- usually because of the flag dangling from the rearview mirror in my car, its like they dont know what to do/say. For example, a few days ago i pulled into the gas station. The guy at the pump next to me literally stared me down from the time i pulled in til he finished pumping his gas, and even looked back as he was about to pull off. The entire time he said not a single word to me. At first i just thought he was a creeper lol. But then i peeped the Naija flag in his car. Seriously dude? I hope i run into him again so i can do the same to him lol.

Idk guys. Somewhere along the line, I lost my Nigerian Card. If you've seen it, please let me know.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Thirst trap

I recently took a trip to the dark side of the social media spectrum via the avenue known as Mocospace. Do any of ya'll use that? If so, im judging you lol. That place is like the ultimate thirst trap lol. I was on it for like 3 days and in that short amount time I had like 30 dudes in my inbox. I only posted like 1 pic, granted it was a nice pic, still it was only 1 pic and all that. Some dudes were blatantly like "heres my number beautiful, call me." Its like blackplanet meets plenty of fish meets tinder. I cannot. Lol. It actually made me laugh. I dont understand how anyone can display such extreme levels of thirst and still respect themselves in the morning. Its all good tho. I had to delete my page real quick. That stupid app wasnt giving me any peace.

So. How is everyone else doing? Any body else out in these streets thirstin?

What would you do?


Thursday, March 19, 2015

Right on schedule

3. The person you would never want to meet?
Satan
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
A palm tree...i guess. I don't know trees lol.
40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
Sunsets. Preferably on the beach.
43. Do you have any scars?
Plenty. I have one on the back of my right hand from when i burned myself taking something out of the oven. Just recently i ripped a nice little chunk of flesh off my index finger of my left hand trying to open a soda bottle. And i have some more scattered around.
57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?
Um...probably some hearts or something. I'm always freaking doodling lol.
64. What do you think about babies?
Cute but not for me...not yet at least. I may be swayed if the right man asks for them at the right time under the right circumstances

For Toin (because you just HAD to ask every question on the dang list lol):
4. What is your favorite word?
"daphuq" my favorite to say and to type lol
10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleeping ;)
11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?
Definitely 16. Lots of fantastical things happened summer of 2003
14. What is your current desktop picture?
Who has a desktop lol
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Oh buddy. Lets not even get into that lol.
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
No one really. I'm straight at the moment.
21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
Bruh...i'd be Idris Elba and I would do nasty things to myself lol. 
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
Going to Accra to visit...don't worry about who i'm going to visit. lol
29. What is your favorite expletive?
"daaaaaaaaaaaaayum!"
31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
Ah man. this dude named Donnell. Yeah...
47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
"What were the winning lotto numbers on March 20, 2015?"
50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?
Trying to explain to someone where the aquarium was while we were standing right in front of it and having them actually argue with me that the ginormous building with the big G symbol and the picture of the fish and sharks wasn't the aquarium and that they remember it being somewhere down the street (or whatever they said).
55. Can you do any accents other than your own?
According to some of you from my language challenge post, i sound Ghanaian so i guess i can do that. I've got my country/southern girl accent down pretty well. And my Naija accent...pretty decent too. 

4. What is your favorite word?
"daphuq" my favorite to say and to type lol
11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?
Definitely 16. Lots of fantastical things happened summer of 2003
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
$50 worth of lotto tickets, $50 on food stuff and for free, i'll pray that at least one of those lotto tickets wins big.
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
Going to Accra to visit...don't worry about who i'm going to visit. lol
45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I'd trade bodies with Amber Rose or maybe Megan Good

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Boredom

Ask (by wednesday night) and i'll answer (on thursday morning)
 :)

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?
3. The person you would never want to meet?
4. What is your favorite word?
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
7. What shirt are you wearing?
8. What do you label yourself as?
9. Bright room or dark room?
10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?
12. Who told you they loved you last?
13. Your worst enemy?
14. What is your current desktop picture?
15. Do you like someone?
16. The last song you listened to?
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?
20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)
21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?
23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 
29. What is your favorite expletive?
30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?
31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!
33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
34. What was your last dream about?
35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?
36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?
37. Have you ever built a snowman?
38. What is the color of your socks?
39. What type of music do you like?
40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?
42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)
43. Do you have any scars?
44. What do you want to be when you graduate?
45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
46. Are you reliable?
47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
48. Do you hold grudges?
49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?
50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?
51. Are you a good liar?
52. How long could you go without talking?
53. What has been you worst haircut/style?
54. Have you ever baked your own cake?
55. Can you do any accents other than your own?
56. What do you like on your toast?
57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?
58. What would be you dream car?
59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.
60. Do you believe in aliens?
61. Do you often read your horoscope?
62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?
63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?
64. What do you think about babies?
65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Divorce is weird

From the outside looking in at least. I know so many people who have divorced already and we've not even crossed into our 30s yet. My best friend has been divorced for like 5 years and we're only 28! IDK. I guess divorce is just one of those things you don't expect to see this early in life.

Its also weird when the couple seemed so in love and so suited for each other. Then all of a sudden you stop seeing them post pics with each other, and facebook names change and the next thing you know one of the two is announcing that they are in a relationship with so-and-so. Its crazy.

On the plus side, i've also seen my peers/associates come to the brink of divorce and decide instead to try and make it work. That makes me smile. Even when the people aren't ones that are close to me.

Its also weird/crazy to me to see really old people get a divorce. Its like, what the heck. Seriously, you've been married for like 30 years now all of a sudden you don't want the person anymore? Not even that, what is your old ass about to do out in the dating world when you're a freaking 100?!? Let my future husband try that nonsense. mscheeeeew.

Monday, March 2, 2015

To-may-to, To-mah-to

So, i have a confession. I do not like tomatoes. At All. Im not entirely sure why. I think part of it is because my mom doesn't like tomatoes. It may be a mental thing. My mom is also allergic to shellfish...so i don't eat shellfish, 

In addition to not liking anything tomato related (except like jollof/red sauce. That shit is LIFE!), I am often guilty of secretly leaving the tomato-based ingredients out of recipes i cook/order for other people. 

A week or two ago, whilst hanging out with my peeps (does anyone still say "peeps"?), I was put in charge of ordering the pizza. I ordered 2 pizzas: 1 with bacon and pepperoni (kinda redundant, I know) and 1 with just cheese. I secretly requested that the pizza have "less sauce" because...well, why not? I mean, I DID pay for it afterall. Why shouldn't I have it the way i will most enjoy it?

Once we began chowing down on the pizza, I notice that the plain cheese pizza has like NO SAUCE on it at all. I looked around to see if anyone else had noticed. No one said anything neither did I.

Until yesterday. I let it slip what I had secretly been requesting during my pizza orders and was met with angry faces and a chorus of "i knew that pizza tasted funny/dry".

Now i'm no longer allowed to order the pizza.

#SadFace