Monday, January 28, 2013

Hunger Games: Battle of the Last Puff Puff

As some of you may know, last weekend i attended my friend Amaka's wedding reception. Well i made 2 very serious mistakes-

  1. I showed up on time
  2. I showed up on an empty stomach
So needless to say, by the time the show got on the road my stomach was doing Azonto. Fortunately for me, it was at that time that a tray of snacks (chin chin and puff puff 2 of my faves) made its way to my table. But no one was making a move on them. And I certainly wasn't going to make a spectacle of myself in front of all those strangers seated with me by doing a nose-dive into the plate. So i waited. The longer i waited, the more active my tummy became. Around the time that the Kola Nut was being distributed and broken, my tummy was doing Alingo and i couldn't help myself any longer. So i turn my attention to the plate of snacks and to my great surprise a lil cutie muffin by the name of Toby had eaten almost every last piece of puff puff on that plate! See disappointment! 


Instead i was left with the option of snacking on the chin chin (which he was also eating, but much less ravenously) When i bit down into that chin chin, the shooting pain in my tooth let me know that wasn't a good idea. So i began to plot. The unrelenting somersaults my tummy was doing had hijacked my brain...i had to figure out how to get that puff puff away from this lil boy. My opportunity came when he scampered off to do whatever it is 3-year-olds do when they run away from adults. At that moment, i pounced. That last piece of puff puff had my name written alllllllll over it!


And wouldn't you know it, as soon as i bit into that delectable morsel, Toby returned. With a look of sheer anger, confusion and disappointment...he turned to us and shouted where's the puff puff! My friends, i will be completely honest with you: fear catch me o! That little boy looked like he meant business about finding out where the puff puff went. You should have seen as i tried to conceal my chipmunk cheek full of puff puff and the remaining piece that was in my hand. SMH. Luckily after some accusatory stares, he was pacified with devouring the rest of the chin chin that was left and we walked away as unlikely friends :)

Other stuff:

  • I saw Nenyewa (of The Sweet Bitter Life of an Igbo Princess), her hubby, and baby Mmeso, whom i can confirm is just as adorable in real life as she is in pictures :)
  • I saw some guy stumbling onto the dance floor with a bottle of Verdi Spumante in his hand...as if this was a nightclub and that was a bottle of Cristal. My friend...take several seats ---> \_
  • Osondi Owendi has been stuck in my head for the past week because of this reception.
  • And of course, i'm beyond overjoyed for my hunny bunny Amaka and her groom :)

Friday, January 25, 2013

I'm Getting Old, Man!

My brother just got his first (of many, hopefully) college acceptance letter yesterday. To some school in the middle of freaking nowhere. Hopefully he'll get accepted somewhere closer. I'm still holding out hope that he'll follow in his youngest big sister's footsteps and become a Bull- but he's not really trying to hear that lol. I can dream at least.

How this little knucklehead got to be college age is beyond me. Especially since i'm still sweet 16 (cut out that snickering, don't think i don't hear you!)

The precursor to my feelings of elderliness came this past weekend at my friend's wedding reception (which i have stories to share about...later though). I was walking back to my table and this girl greeted me. Like proper greeting...practically did ikun'le for me. As if she was not a most a couple years younger than me. She probably thinks i'm rude as heck because i honestly just looked at her blankly for a few seconds because i couldn't wrap my mind around what was happening lol.

Next i'll be telling you people about gray hairs, smh.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Crime and Punishment


Man i freaking love The Big Bang Theory! lol

The rest is just some other funny crap. Happy Hump Day.






Man those last 3 or 4 kids = parenting success. The rest of the spoiled lil monsters, smh. And some of them were waaaaaaaaaaaay too damn old to be throwing such tantrums. I can't lie though, if i had kids i'd probably be doing this effed up kind of stuff to them all the time lol.

Monday, January 14, 2013

2.0

Hello lovelies. It is January 14th. One month til Valentine's Day. So i've decided to dust off the cobwebs and kick into gear my semi-new tradition entitled:
Version 2.0
Honestly, i haven't given much thought to what i want to do yet. I just knew i wanted to do this again. Despite the drama, my own personal procrastination, and the foot-dragging of the postal service local and abroad (which i shouldn't complain about because i've got at least 5 people in my fam that work for USPS and they keep the food on my family's dinner table lol), it was fun last year. So...here we are again. If you'd like something to brighten your day a lil, send me an email (at usfgirl86@yahoo.com) with your particulars and i'll see what i can do to make than happen.






Totally unrelated side note: Sister Souljah is finally releasing a sequel to The Coldest Winter Ever. And it only took 13 freaking years lol. I personally can't believe that its been 12-13 years since i read that book. Best book ever written...that and Flyy Girl...and Push. Changed my freaking life (ok, not really). Anywho, i'm super excited for this new book (entitled A Deeper Love Inside: The Porsche Santiaga Story) to hit stores. Definitely brings back fond memories of all the totally inappropriate (yet still in a way very appropriate) literature we were reading back in middle school.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Tuesday Talk

Good day folks. Hope everyone's new year/month/week has been going well thus far. My weekend was filled with some fabulous and not so fabulous moments. I spent the weekend in Tampa (what else is new, right). I went out to dinner with some of my sisters, one of whom i haven't seen in like almost 3 years. We had a great time catching up, reminiscing, and probably annoying our waiter with our loud chatter and laughs. But i left that guy an awesome tip so if he has anything to say he should park well! Honestly the tip was only because he was sexy. According to my sissies he looks like a gingerish Adam Levine (i don't agree but majority rules i guess) and he had the cutest lil country/midwestern twang. I had the most splendid white peach sangria. Totally worth the $6.

I also shot the shizz with my bestie and ended up running into another friend of mine who unfortunately shared with me his plans to pop the question to his gf (where she even came from, idk) soon. Seriously, what is this crap about? I can't even tell you how many of my guy friends feel the need to share with me their intentions. Not that i don't care, because of course i do, but come on. You can tell me after you tell her! And in this particular case, after i've spent the past 7 years wanting nothing more than to feel up on your booty and make out a lil, the last thing i wanna hear is that i've missed the boat! But anyway, he's a awesome dude and he definitely has his head on right so if he wants to marry her i assume she is equally amazing and i wish them the best and will gleefully watch on as they take their vows.

On Friday i narrowly escaped a car accident. I swear i do not understand why people are so reckless. Especially in the rain. Some psycho, fearing he was missing his exit (i assume), cut across the road from the center lane to the left lane, nearly crashing into the car directly in front of me. In response, the car in front of me tried to swerve and get out of the way, lost traction causing his car to spin out of control, went crashing into the guardrail and headed straight in my direction. Thank God for good brakes because i drive a little itty bitty putt-putt car and the car behind me was a big ole Astro van and the car next to me was a mack truck. If i had to swerve outta the way i probably wouldn't be here. There are no words to explain how scared i was. I spent the next 15 miles driving with one hand over my heart, the other on the steering wheel (both of which were shaking uncontrollably) trying to calm my breathing, and thanking God that no one was hurt.  SMH.