Wednesday, September 4, 2013

That's not what i meant though

You know, the phrase: "I can only be held responsible for what i say, not how you interpreted it" has never really sat well with me.

Yes, to a certain extent, i agree with the statement. You never know how your words/actions are going to be interpreted by someone else. But i do think there is a certain level of control you have over the situation. Likewise, i think there is a certain level of responsibility you have to take in the situation.

For example, say you jokingly walk up to someone and punch them on the arm. You may not have meant to hurt them or upset them, but that doesn't mean they aren't going to be hurt/upset. And if you don't take the extra step to say sorry or i was just playing, then the responsibility falls completely back on you.

I think that's the part I've never liked about that perception vs intention thing. Its one thing to acknowledge that you can't control other people's initial interpretation, but once you see that your words/actions have been misinterpreted and you chose to do nothing (or worse, fan the flame)...then yes you are solely at fault.

This type of foolishness has happened to me twice this week already. And it just irritates me to no end. As i'm sure those of you who have been following along for a while can tell, i'm very big on personal responsibility. And this is one of those types of things that i wish people would just buckle down and take responsibility over. Because its little sparks like this (misinterpreting intentions, unclear communication, finger pointing, etc) that turn into roaring flames.

Pardon my ranting. Hope everyone else's September is starting off well. And those of you stateside had a nice Labor Day weekend. Summer is officially-unofficially over :(

All you single folks...Cuffing Season is upon us. I hope you are doing your due diligence in finding a cold-weather-friend *hint hint wink wink*

Oh yeah, and Happy Hump Day!

12 comments:

  1. I totally understand your frustration. I'm all about personal responsibility, too. Unfortunately, we can't make everyone see it that way.

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    1. I'm going to invent the technology one day because i'm tired of people getting on my nerves with this lol

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  2. Happy hump day. Summer is officially and totally over here. Been raining for over a week now :(

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    1. I can imagine. it was rainy and yucky here too...but what else is new. Tis hurrican season and all

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  3. Hmmmm... finally someone agrees with me on this... but not everyone is going to really take responsibility

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    1. I'm glad that at least the 5 of you are on my side lol.

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  4. I agree with you - if someone has misinterpeted your words or action do take time/try to explain. Not everyone shares your humor or quirks so dont play the 's/he is too sensitive card'.

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  5. Oh...or people rely on the 'free speech' thing. Perception is important. But sometimes it's more complicated though. As in: A person goes looking for trouble by lashing out and when they get it, they can't handle it. Then they're hurt. That said (excluding such a scenario) if someone is genuinely hurt, that hurt should be acknowledged by the other person.

    Me...I learnt a long time ago that many people prefer to die than say 'sorry.' So I often deal with them as I see fit.

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    1. Apologizing is like kryptonite to some people. I don't know why people can't just say it. Heck, you don't even have to mean it lol. Who's gonna know? But that's just (some people's) human nature i guess.

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  6. This is a subject I am passionate about. Failing to take personal responsibility is a dealbreaker for me. I have no qualms about ending friendships over that and I have neded one or two. Its that fundamental. That being said, some people are extremely sensitive and/or always in combat mode. One needs to engage with them carefully. when you do hurt them, its important to clear the air or at least to apologise.

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    1. I may not unfriend people but i certainly will reduce my interactions with them if i find they have no act right. Though i have temporarily removed people from my life in the past for this type of thing.

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