Friday, April 5, 2013

Where do we draw the line

There's a "thin line" between discipline and abuse. The black webiverse has been abuzz lately over that video of dude beating the shit out of his teen/pre-teen daughters for making a twerking video. I personally haven't seen it, nor do i have any desire to. But from what i hear, it was pretty gruesome. So much so that the man has been indicted for his actions. From what i've gathered, the two daughters were visiting their dad when the beating took place. When they returned to their mother's home and she noticed the bruises, welts, and open wounds left as souvenirs of the discipline, she called the police.

Of course, the house is divided on the issue. One side says "thats what their fast tails get", "he was only being a good dad", and the ever popular "if i had done that blah blah blah" aka "i got my ass beat and i turned out ok" epistles. Then you have the correct other side saying that he went way too far, what he did was more about anger/aggression than discipline, and he rightly is being made to face the legal ramifications of his actions.

I personally was  a pretty good kid. Getting a whooping happened very rarely, if ever. I honestly can only think of a couple of times that i got hit, aside from random smacks (never in the face of course) for being a smartass. But i've also seen my sister and my brother get their ass handed to them for doing shit they have no business. So i'm not one of those people who's against corporal punishment because i never got it/saw it. I just don't really buy into the idea that the only way to discipline a child is to beat them senseless. People take that spare the rod and spoil the child scripture way too literally/seriously. Sure, sometimes a spanking or a swat on the arm/leg/bottom is in order. But to pick up a cable cord and beat your child til they are bruised (or worse) is just too much to me. And it certainly is no guarantee that your kid will behave. I know plenty of people who've never been sent out to pick a switch (and it better be a good switch or the beating will just be worse cuz now your parent or whomever is even more pissed) that have turned out to be perfectly respectable and upstanding citizens. Likewise, i know people who's parents bust their ass on a regular basis that ain't doin shit  in life.

Discipline has always been a touchy subject. In essence most people feel "well who are you to tell me how to raise/discipline my kids". And to a certain extent, i understand where they are coming from. But come on. At some point the line has to be drawn between what constitutes discipline and what just shouldn't be acceptable. The question i pose is...where do we draw that line?

4 comments:

  1. I haven't seen the video either, but i think when punishing a child, the motive should be that the child learns that what he (she) did was wrong. A severe beating to the point of injuring the child doesn't and won't guarantee that the child will be remorseful.

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  2. I didn't know about the video till reading this, and I had to go see it... I'm not against corporal punishment. I was hit as a kid and can see how it can sometimes be a quick effective punishment. I think corporal punishment depends on the child, the parent, and the circumstance. Not all kids need that form of punishment and it's not always effective. And I also think there are A LOT of kids nowadays who could benefit from a good spanking. That said, this video is abuse. What the father did goes far beyond just punishment. I was hit like that a few times as a kid, and NOTHING warrants that level of punishment. If what those girls did were offensive and deserved to be hit, it sure wasn't with a power cord and with them lying on the floor screaming bloody murder. This man has parenting issues and his daughters will learn nothing from this beating except distrust and bitterness.

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    1. I tell you one thing, this whole situation has definitely made me infinitely more cognizant of having the discipline conversation with any future/potential boo. You wouldn't believe how many people are going around talking about how there was absolutely nothing wrong with what he did and even that they themselves received much worse and think nothing of it.

      And i doubt if i'd let my husband physically discipline my daughters if it can be avoided.

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