Monday, December 30, 2013

Rocket Til Waterfalls

Hello all you beautiful people of blogsville (and beyond). I hope you all had a fabulous holiday and are looking forward to a super splendiforous new year. 2013 certainly went by quickly. And as predicted we are in the thralls of "engagement season" (which is my opinion usually goes from Thanksgiving to Valentine's Day). I've seen so many engagement announcements, i've honestly lost count. From the one's who've been with their boo for a million years (aka the it's about damn time folks) to the ones who i didn't even know had a boo thang...and everyone in between. Congrats to them all. *makes mental note to start saving money*
Coincidentally, this is how i know i'm old. I honestly didn't even think i had any friends left that hadn't walked down the aisle yet. SMH.
Anyhow, everyone's getting boo'd up. And i'm just over here gettin drunk lol.
Making "Parrot Bay Pinada" during Christmas

Sippin on a "i just drove 7 hours from Florida to Georgia and have to be at work at 7:45 in the morning aka Red Rooster (quite yummy i might add)

Ironically, I saw this video right after someone called me talking about they are waiting to hear i've fallen in love and am bringing somebody to Nigeria to do introductions and all that (who exactly i'd be doing introductions with in Naija when both my parents are in the states, i don't know lol):

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

This Christmas

Merry Christmas everybody. (Or Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Winter Solstice, Happy Festivus for the rest of us...whatever you celebrating, be happy). I hope that you are with friends/loved ones, keeping warm, sharing laughs and well wishes, eating good, and feeling even better. I'll be spending my Christmas in sunny florida trying to figure out this Galaxy Tab i just got for BirthMas (don't ask) and entertaining my niece.

I'd also like to take this time out to thank you all for the birthday wishes. Love you all.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Ain't it funny

I find it funny that men get all up in arms if a woman says all men are the same even though for the most part they are. Yet these same men will turn around and give you "man advice" because they know how men think.

If all men aren't the same, then how can you say you know how all men think? If all men are different, wouldn't it be more accurate to say that you only know how YOU think?!?

Yeah. Thought so.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Can we take a second to talk about King Bey?!?

So...i'm nowhere near being a Beyonce stan. Hell, i'm barely a regular fan. I don't believe she pisses sunshine and shits rainbows. No ma'am. I just started bumping Dance For You and Love On Top like 6 months ago. Both those songs came out in like 2011. I didn't even know Dance For You wasn't a new song until i went looking for the video.

Having said all that, let me say this:

Beyonce just shitted on everyone's entire existence with this new album!

Like, seriously. I like THIS Beyonce. I don't even know what happened. All i know is when Drunk In love comes on, I be in MY ZONE! 

And Partition...i had to rewind that numerous times and make sure i was hearing what i was hearing correctly. Beyonce's a freak yo. Do your thang ma'am! Even tho that's gross to think about her and Jay doing the grown-up. *shudders* 

Anywho, Superpower...i'm only here for it because the boo-thang Frank Ocean is on it lol.

Pretty Hurts...thats some real talk. But i came to get turnt on up so not today with that. 

Yonce went hard. Beat was sick and the flow was too. *sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker*

Thats as far as i've gotten so far. Oh and Flawless (which has people all over the place). I didn't listen to the whole song (the whole bow down bitches thing was throwing me off lol) but i actually did like it. 

Mrs. Knowles-Carter did her thing.

The one thing i'm not impressed by is the whole "she dropped a whole album with no promotion, blah blah blah" cuz i mean..everyone who makes an album, makes a whole album lol. What i WOULD like to know is who the hell was the first person who realized that she dropped said album and how considering there was no promotion. Because in the span of like seconds, so it seems, that shit took over the entire webiverse.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Blame it on the holidays

I want babies.

But i don’t want them.

And nothing in me is interested in childbirth.

I want to adopt.

But i also wanna experience pregnancy.

But i don’t really wanna be pregnant.

I don’t feel like i’m going to be one of those people who feels like they “missed out on something” by not having kids.

Hell i don’t even feel like i’d be missing anything by not getting married.

But i still sorta want all those things.

Damn social conditioning.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

In all seriousness

There are a lot of broken people in this world. Which is why (imho) most things that have become "normal" are so ridiculously fucked up.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Is it bad that...

I never made love? I never did it. But i sure know how to...

yeah, anywayz.

Is it bad that i literally only bought/watch I, Robot for that scene in the very beginning when Will Smith is in the shower?!?

Is it bad that i can totally see myself walking into my (or your) wedding just like this?

Is it bad that its almost 7pm and i'm still in my pajamas?

Is it bad that this is definitely some ish i would do?

Is it bad that this is like my anthem:

Friday, December 6, 2013

Office Crushes

Well the topic of office crushes has come up. And since ThisLagosGirl is in constant demand for the details of my messy ass life here goes...

So i have something like 3 office crushes. More like 2.25 lol.

The first one...i don't even know what i'm thinking. He looks like a giant milk dud lol. But he's nice. And he has an ass that clearly was designed by the hand of the Almighty. Mmm. He's married though so i'm not even tryna look at that.

The second one...he's clearly on some A Pimp Named Slickback type stuff lol. I say i'm messy, but THIS DUDE is messy! It would not surprise me at all to hear him involved in some sort of scandal. If only you all could hear some of the off the cuff remarks that he makes to me lol. He is truly off the chain. And he can bake. He came tipping past here the other day with some cake leftover from Thanksgiving. It was super sweet but it was delicious! And supposedly his cooking skills match he baking skills. I'm bout to tell him to whip me up a birthday cake or something. *sidenote* this is the person i went on my work date with lol

The .25 is nothin really. He's just adorable and he has nice arms and a nice back. And he's the only person here that's around the same age as me. But i'm good on that. I do refer to him as my work spouse- though i have petitioned for divorce numerous times over the 4 months we've been working together.

Have a good weekend everybody.

ETA: R.I.P. Nelson Mandela

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Feminine Wiles

I'm sitting here in my office and a lady that works in the next building over walked in. She looked around for a second then asked why there weren't any men in here lol.

I asked her what she needed and she said that she wanted to fill her cooler with ice but didn't know how she was going to get it back to her office because it would be too heavy for her to carry. I told her i'd help her. I wasn't doing anything that couldn't wait a few minutes.

So we get to filling the cooler up and she turns to me and says we really need a man to help do this. Girl go out in that hallway, show some leg and get one in here! 

Of course thinking she was joking i laughed and went to look outside and see if anyone was around. The only person i saw was taking a nap on the couch so i wasn't about to disturb him.

She looked up at me and said Girl i said show some leg. Come on now. I know you can do it. When i was your age if i showed some leg i'd have three men doing backflips to get in here and help by now.


I did eventually get someone to come and help. But that's cuz he already has a crush on me. No leg required. But i wonder if randomly showing leg would have worked.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013


Messy = going out of your way to stir up trouble, controversy, drama, etc.; doing nothing to stop impending drama, controversy, etc; reveling in controversy, drama, etc

In my life, messiness usually manifests itself in the way of flirtation and all the stuff that leads to. Although sometimes it comes in the form of Extreme Shade Throwing and Reads of Epic Proportion. If these were Olympic events, i guarantee that I have the ability to bring home gold medals.


So like i said previously, i've been ultra messy lately. Re-connecting with people i probably have NO BUSINESS WHAT SO EVER reconnecting with, flirting with people that i know i shouldn't be flirting with, and letting people attempt to set P *heavy emphasis on attempt* Here's a few examples:

  1. I kinda sorta in a way stole somebody's man lol. And boy is this babe furious over it. As in she has been like stalking me for about 5 months now. Sending all manner of crazy messages. I honestly am just waiting for her to go completely off the deep end. The thing about it is, she's mad at me because the dude that she's been doing Sugar Mama/Sugar Baby things with, has expressed interest in me. How that's my fault, i don't know. I haven't said anything to her because its all so ridiculous and she's like twice my age. But yeah, shit's wild.
  2. There are all these guys at my job- not co-workers but actual students- that insist on flirting with me. I think the drawback of working at a junior college is that most people are grown. Half these "kids" that try their hand are my age or older. And as such they chose to play the "we're both grown" card when i let them know that they are crossing the line of professionalism and i'm not about to lose my damn job over some probably mediocre D. 
  3. There's been one person i decided to give my number to since i've been here. I honestly have like no interest whatsoever. He's nice and all but um yeah. Not happening without a MAJOR intervention. What can i say, i was bored. Anyhow, now i think i might have to change my number lol. Despite all the ignoring, the guy is still pretty persistent.
  4. About this re-connecting thing. I have been in contact with someone from my past. I've blogged about him here before but in an effort to pretend to lend him some anonymity, i won't say who. When i started writing this post, things hadn't gotten too outta hand. But then outta nowhere, Lawd Jesus its a fire! A major declaration (on my fb page no less) of the torch that he carries for me is still burning BRIGHTLY and he just wants any ol' body to know apparently. The guy just dey spoil my market. lol. But we talked (away from fb eyes) and things have calmed way down now.
There's a lot more messiness going on but i think this is sufficient. Sorry it took so long to type this up. My Thanksgiving was effing BANANAS. I didn't see my own house from Thursday morning til Sunday night/almost monday morning lol. Hope everyone had as good of a Turkey Day as i did. And for those whom that doesn't apply, hope your month is off to a fabulous start. 12 days til my bday! 22 days til Christmas!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Happy Turkey Day

Hope all of you that it applies to have a fantabulous Thanksgiving. Those of you traveling, please be safe.

I personally have been watching Addams Family Values for the past week just for this one scene lol:

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Bible Study

Sunday night phone conversation:

Him: what are you doing?
Me: straightening up my apartment a little.
Him: You know you not supposed to be doing that right?!?
Me: What? Why not?
Him: Its in the bible some place. I don't know what it says exactly but i know you ain't supposed to do that.
Me: *gives phone the most epic of straight faces* You mean that i'm supposed to keep the Sabbath holy?
Him: I dunno what they call or whatever, i just know its in there.
Me: I just freaking told you tho.
Him: Well whatever it is, i know you not supposed to be doing that on Sunday.
Me: You mean to tell me, that you got the nerve to say that i need to come to your church and come with you to Bible study and you don't even know what the Sabbath is or where in the Bible it tells you to keep it holy?!? You good bruh!

Monday, November 25, 2013

Being a Bad Girl On The Clock

Since Toin and ThisLagosGirl are doing amebor tinz, i guess i can divulge a lil bit.

ThisLagosGirl asked first, so i'll start with how to go on a date while at work.

It all started one lovely Tuesday morning. I had been having issue with my computer for the past few days so i really was in no rush to check it (and be disappointed again). Instead i did some work by hand. When i finally did check, i had an email asking for my assistance with something in a different office. The email was from the night before. And by now i had already been at work for like 2 hours lol. So i high-tailed it across campus only to find out that my services were not required at the moment. So i told them i would head back to my office and that they should call me if they need me to come back up. Instead of going straight back to my own desk, i decided to visit another colleague of mine who works down the hall from there. We got to talking and after chatting for a brief moment the following ensues:
Me: Well, i told them to call me if they need my help so i guess i better head back to my office...
Him: Its almost noon, they are probably gonna need you soon anyway. Doesn't make sense for you to go all the way back down to your office. You might as well stay here.
Me: How am i gonna know if she needs me though? I didn't forward my phone before i left.
Him: Don't worry about it, i gotta run over there right quick anyway. I'll tell them you're in here helping me with something.
Me: *exceptionally long pause* oooookay
A few minutes pass...
Him: ok, i told them to call here if they need you.
Me: What are you working on?
Him: A press release. But you can go on ahead and shut the door and hit the lights and pull a chair up over here...
Me: *complete look of bewilderment*
He pulls out a handful of DVDs and says-
Him: which one of these movies do you wanna watch?
For the record, i did help him with the press release so at the end of the day can't nobody say i wasn't "working" lol. But yeah, that- in a nutshell- is how you go on a date at work. Attempt at your own risk. I cannot guarantee that your boss will approve, that your co-worker won't turn out to be lecherous (mine was a perfect gentleman unfortunately), or that you won't get caught. I personally think i raised a few eyebrows when i finally left dude's office lol.

I'll get to the messiness/bad girl tinz soon Toin ;)

Thursday, November 21, 2013

I'm just talkin

I heard my boss cuss for the first time yesterday. That was kinda awesome lol.

That song The Worst by Jhene, i LOVE the lyrics. But the song is garbage. How is that even possible? I've never really liked Jhene anyway. That might have something to do with it lol. She killed that last verse tho.

What the hell is wrong with Kanye West? The Bound 2 crap is CRAP. I made it about 1 minute and half into the video before i gave up. This is what happens when you play with those Kardashian chicks.

Theres no way you can sing Love On Top without doing a full out performance. And i don't even like Beyonce. But when that comes on you'd think someone just proposed to me lol. Same goes for No One Gonna Love You by Jennifer Hudson.

That co-worker of mine who is playin this No Shave November nonsense...he's looking mighty fine with that damn beard. *covers face* According to him i'm the only one who likes it tho. And he has the most beautiful deep blue eyes i think i've ever seen. The things you notice when somebody starts lookin good, smh.

It is bad that i'm legitimately upset when i go to a meeting at 11am and don't get fed? Like its lunch time almost. Why can't i get a plate.

Someone should explain how i managed to go on a date AT WORK. LOL. I swear i love my job. There's always so much shenanigans going on here.

I've been messy as hell lately. I won't get into details but...yeah. Bad bad bad Lady Ngo!

Monday, November 18, 2013

I think i have a superpower

Every time i say someone needs to get married, someone i know ends up getting that same day.

So if you are waiting for your boo to go to Jared so your Kiss can begin with Kay, holla at me. I can hook you up.

For a small fee.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

This is what happens when you give people choices

Ella: What do you want for Christmas?
El: A galaxy tab or PS4
Ella: Nigga Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!? (o_O)
El: you asked, i told you
Ella (to herself): this mofo crazy!
Ella (out loud): I guess we'll be hitting those black friday sales hard!

Friday, November 15, 2013

I had a dream

...a vision of sorts.

I was spending a holiday with one bobo and his family. And in the middle of dinner, he dropped to one knee and proposed. Like seriously bruh? You're proposing to me? Right now? In front of all your people? When 5 minutes ago you weren't even sure you wanted to be my boyfriend?

And i just sat there. like a deer in headlights. What in the world was I supposed to do?

If i say nigga are you crazy, i'm gonna look...heartless. If i don't say anything, i'm gonna look heartless. If i run for the damn hills and never look back, i'm gonna look heartless.

So i said yes.

And this is how i came to the conclusion that if ever someone decides to surprisingly pop the question, i'd probably say yes then spend a significant amount of private time trying to figure out how the hell to get out of it.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

The upside to a three-day (or any extended) you get all them days off.

The downside to a three-day weekend is trying to get yourself back in the swing of things when you do have to go back to work.

I'm fighting a losing battle today. And to make matters even worse, starting to day off with freakin drama before 7am. Never cool.

And its 1pm, and I haven't even gone for lunch yet. I think i'm going to take my lunch break at 3:30 and just go home early.

I'm so over it today lol.

You asked, I answered 2.0

Hola folks. I actually had a crazy hectic weekend, which involved working on saturday, houseguests, and drama. But since you all were so kind as to indulge me with the questions, its only right I provide the answers ;)

For Chuwechuwe:
150 Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 29 He answered and said , "I will not " but afterward he regretted it and went.
148. What’s your favourite quote?  i don't think i have one anymore lol
135. Dumbest lie you ever told? Um, when i was about 12, we all went through this phase of lying about being "experienced". Please don't even ask me why because no one was even thinking about attempting to do anything back then. Crazy youthful shenanigans. 
63. Ever been in love? Yup. Its sux.
43. Do you smile at strangers? I do the polite hello smile and head nod when i deem it necessary or when i make the mistake of making eye contact lol.

For Sugabelly:

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? No but i've always kinda wanted to. A nice night-time bonfire on the beach. *adds that to the bucket list*
128. Would you change your name? There was this one time in kindergarten when me and this other little girl switched names for like a week because i thought Jenna was infinitely better sounding than Jennifer. but other than that- nope. I suppose eventually my last name will change but that's about it.

For African Fashion:

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? all kinds honestly, i have so many different types of friends, fam, love interests, etc. Im like a jack of all "types" and master of none lol.
20. Do you like your neighbors? Nope, especially not the ones above me lol. They are just as rude and inconsiderate as they wanna be.
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Most everyone i have had some type of romantic entanglement has regrets about ending things or the way things ended.

For Okeoghene:
17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I think its possible. I mean we are only one planet in one galaxy in one universe.
24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Looking at the clock and seeing that its time to go home lol.
37. What do you say during awkward silences? Usually something stupid
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I wish i could see the world through rose-tinted glasses
55. Favourite blog? depends on my mood *see trick question lol*
67. Facebook or Twitter? facebook
78. Favourite ice cream flavour? somewhere between mint chocolate chip, chocolate fudge brownie, and my chocolate ice cream with brownie bites and peanut butter sauce that i make at the froyo spot lol.
95. Last movie you watched? I just finished watching Last House on the Left before i started answering these questions
127. What makes you happy? Good conversation (among other things)

For Anonymous:
76. What colour is your underwear? They are white with pink and blue designs

For Activeghman:
18. Do you still talk to your first crush? I'm not even positive i know who my first crush was lol
23. Do you have trust issues? I don't have trust issues, i just don't trust people. I think trusting people is probably the most idiotic thing a person can do. The only thing i trust people to do is disappoint. LOL, thats sounds bitter as hayle but what can ya do?
63. already answered this
64.Tell us the story of your first kiss? I don't remember all the details but it was with an older boy named Henry at the after-school program i used to go to when i was a little kid. I think he was just getting close to me because he liked my older sister but there it is lol.

Friday, November 8, 2013

I want to share with you

We've done this once before. But there's no harm in doing it again. Plus these are all new questions. And i have a 3 day weekend and need distractions so i don't eat myself out of house and home due to boredom. So please, ask away.

By "ask", i mean leave the numbers of the questions you want me to answer in the comment box.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?
2. Are you outgoing or shy?
3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?
4. Are you easy to get along with?
5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?
6. What kind of people are you attracted to?
7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?
8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?
9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?
10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?
12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?
13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?
14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?
15. What good thing happened this summer?
16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
17. Do you think there is life on other planets?
18. Do you still talk to your first crush?
19. Do you like bubble baths?
20. Do you like your neighbors?
21. What are you bad habits?
22. Where would you like to travel?
23. Do you have trust issues?
24. Favorite part of your daily routine?
25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?
26. What do you do when you wake up?
27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?
28. Who are you most comfortable around?
29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?
30. Do you ever want to get married?
31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?
32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?
33. Spell your name with your chin.
34. Do you play sports? What sports?
35. Would you rather live without TV or music?
36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?
37. What do you say during awkward silences?
38. Describe your dream girl/guy?
39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?
40. What do you want to do after high school?
41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?
43. Do you smile at strangers?
44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?
45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?
46. What are you paranoid about?
47. Have you ever been high?
48. Have you ever been drunk?
49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?
50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?
51. Ever wished you were someone else?
52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?
53. Favourite makeup brand?
54. Favourite store?
55. Favourite blog?
56. Favourite colour?
57. Favourite food? 
58. Last thing you ate?
59. First thing you ate this morning?
60. Ever won a competition? For what?
61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?
62. Been arrested? For what?
63. Ever been in love? 
64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?
65. Are you hungry right now?
66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?
67. Facebook or Twitter?
68. Twitter or Tumblr?
69. Are you watching tv right now?
70. Names of your bestfriends? 
71. Craving something? What?
72. What colour are your towels?
72. How many pillows do you sleep with?
73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?
75. Favourite animal?
76. What colour is your underwear?
77. Chocolate or Vanilla?
78. Favourite ice cream flavour?
79. What colour shirt are you wearing?
80. What colour pants?
81. Favourite tv show?
82. Favourite movie?
83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?
84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?
85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?
86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?
87. First person you talked to today?
88. Last person you talked to today?
89. Name a person you hate?
90. Name a person you love?
91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?
92. In a fight with someone?
93. How many sweatpants do you have?
94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?
95. Last movie you watched?
96. Favourite actress?
97. Favourite actor?
98. Do you tan a lot?
99. Have any pets?
100. How are you feeling?
101. Do you type fast?
102. Do you regret anything from your past?
103. Can you spell well?
104. Do you miss anyone from your past?
105. Ever been to a bonfire party?
106. Ever broken someone’s heart?
107. Have you ever been on a horse?
108. What should you be doing?
109. Is something irritating you right now?
110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?
111. Do you have trust issues?
112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
113. What was your childhood nickname?
114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?
115. Do you play the Wii?
116. Are you listening to music right now?
117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?
118. Do you like Chinese food?
119. Favourite book?
120. Are you afraid of the dark?
121. Are you mean?
122. Is cheating ever okay?
123. Can you keep white shoes clean?
124. Do you believe in love at first sight?
125. Do you believe in true love?
126. Are you currently bored?
127. What makes you happy?
128. Would you change your name?
129. What your zodiac sign?
130. Do you like subway?
131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
133. Favourite lyrics right now?
134. Can you count to one million?
135. Dumbest lie you ever told?
136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?
137. How tall are you?
138. Curly or Straight hair?
139. Brunette or Blonde?
140. Summer or Winter?
141. Night or Day?
142. Favourite month?
143. Are you a vegetarian?
144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?
145. Tea or Coffee?
146. Was today a good day?
147. Mars or Snickers?
148. What’s your favourite quote?
149. Do you believe in ghosts?
150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

Monday, November 4, 2013

No Shave November

On friday, one of my co-workers came in looking a little...scruffy. I asked what was up with his face. He said he hadn't shaved that morning because it's officially "No Shave November".

I told him, please don't do that!

But then i thought about it, and i said: you know what, if not shaving makes you happy then you go right ahead!

I saw him Sunday at church and his face was clean shaven lol.

I asked what happened. He said, he forgot not to shave.


PS. I wonder how men would feel if the women-folk participated in this no shave november nonsense.

PPS: this past sunday was also the first time i've ever worn pants (as in trousers, not pata lol) to my entire life. Felt weird.

PPPS: I was on the radio on thursday. Celeb status. lol.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

all in the family

The up-side to having friends who have parents nearby is that when there's food, you're invited! And you have a place to nap it off when you're done eating.

And if the parentals like you enough, you get to take home leftovers.

I ate good as hell this weekend!

Friday, October 25, 2013

too much testosterone

There entirely too many men in here.


Oh and i made groundnut soup the other day.
yes, i had already started eating it before i snapped the pic lol

Still a work in progress but not too bad.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

If wishes were horses

I used to think that if i won the lottery, like really won the mega million style, that i'd keep it on the hush and just keep on going about my life as usual. Now i'm starting to think screw that. I'm tired of working lol. I'm tired of worrying about bills and debt and shit.

I think i'd still work. Probably only part time though. Someplace where i can still get benefits and a pension. And hopefully in my field. That is, if i can actually find such a job.

I'd still live a pretty regular lifestyle too. I certainly wouldn't splurge and be buying luxury vehicles and  25-bedroom mansions or anything. I'd definitely upgrade my apartment a little or buy a condo  and get a new car for me and my parents (cuz we all are in need). But that's about it.

Is it wrong to pray to win the lottery? I feel like it might be. lol

Monday, October 21, 2013


It has been exactly 4 months since the last time i got a relaxer. I am not entirely sure what i'm doing exactly. It wasn't something i planned. In all honesty, i only stopped getting relaxers because that was a good $70 i couldn't afford to part with every 6 weeks anymore. Unemployment tinz. And now that i am employed and with a whole new slew of bills that i didn't have before (well that i haven't had in a while i guess i should say) in addition to being 6 hours away from my regular beautician...i can't bring myself to part with it again either.

So what have i been doing in the meantime? Floating up shit creek without a paddle lol. Instead of getting a relaxer every 6 weeks, i've been getting a blowout every 4-6 weeks. Only slightly less *potentially* harmful than a relaxer but a step in the right direction i guess.

What is my plan for the future? I really don't know. I wish i could just fall asleep and wake up the next morning with a head full of healthy natural hair thats the same length as the hair on my head now. This whole transitioning crap is for the birds. I don't even know if i really plan on sticking with it. I cannot deny the joy i get flipping my hair at people lol. And i have not the foggiest idea what i look like with a head full of 4c hair. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Fine China

Son!!!!! It made me laugh at first. Then  i thought about it and you know what? You damn right Naomi Campbell!

Have a good weekend everybody

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


I told this guy he should take me on a trip to Paris.

He said, ok, how 'bout I take you to Haiti instead? Its the same difference.

I said, My what life? lol

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Clearly we've learned nothing from Steubenville

The Steubenville rape case attracted national attention last year because of how extraordinary — and terrible — that story was: A young girl was victimized first by her teenaged rapists, and then by the town itself, which engaged in the worst kind of victim-blaming and rushed to the defense of her attackers, who were athletes for the town’s pride and glory, the high school football team.
But in the months since that case first came to light, national attention has turned to more and more cases like Steubenville’s. Just this weekend, another, eerily similar story emerged — this time in the town of Marryville, Missouri.
The Kansas City Star published on Sunday their remarkable, seven-month investigation into an eerily similar story that unfolded last year in the small, northwestern Missouri town of Maryville. In this case, though, the rape victim never got to see her horror story go to trial — and the family’s terror hasn’t ended; they’ve even had their house burned down.
Fourteen-year-old Daisy and her 13-year-old friend were both high school freshman in January 2012, when they were invited to a house party by a senior star of the Maryville football team. Once there, the older girl was given a large glass filled with alcohol and urged by a room full of some of the school’s most popular athletes to drink it. She did, and they handed her a second glass.
The following morning, Daisy’s mother discovered her daughter, alone on her front lawn in sub-freezing temperatures, weeping. She helped Daisy into the bathtub after finding her outside, where she noticed reddish, irritated areas around her daughter’s genitalia and buttocks.
Daisy’s mom also found the 13-year-old friend was upstairs in Daisy’s room, also “confused.” Both girls were taken to a hospital. On Daisy’s body, a doctor found small vaginal tears emblematic of someone who has just had sex. The 13-year-old, who remembered the night’s events, told investigators she was forced to have sex, despite saying “no” over and over again.
Eyewitnesses who spoke with the Star, including Daisy’s 13-year-old friend, recall seeing Daisy being carried — crying — by some of the older boys out of the house into a car.
It didn’t take long for police to round up Barnett and other partiers for questioning. Barnett, a 17-year-old defensive end for the Maryville High School football team, admitted to having sex with Daisy but said it was consensual. Jordan Zech, a teammate and standout wrestler for Maryville, admitted to recording some of the encounter on another friend’s iPhone.
Within days, both were arrested in the case. Barnett was facing a felony sexual assault charge and one count of endangering the welfare of a child, a misdemeanor. Zech was also charged, for sexual exploitation of a minor.
But like Steubenville before it, the town of Maryville revolted against the facts in the case.
Days after the incident became public knowledge, students at the high school began attacking Daisy and her family. On social media, fellow Maryville students began threatening Daisy, tweeting that she would “get whats comin.” Daisy’s older brother Charlie, who was himself an athlete for Maryville, was booed by his own classmates during a wrestling meet. Her mother, a veterinarian, was fired from her job two weeks after the incident without so much as an explanation, only later learning that her boss feared that her presence “was putting stress” on her other employees.
Meanwhile, members of the community rallied behind Barnett and the other perpetrators. In March, just over two months after the alleged rape took place, the most serious charges of sexual assault and sexual exploitation of a minor was dropped without an explanation.
Daisy’s family moved away to avoid the threats and harassment they faced since her story first came to light. But the trouble didn’t end. Six months ago, their old house burned down mysteriously.
If the story sounds at all familiar, it’s because it almost mirrors the case in Steubenville, Ohio. Like Steubenville, the perpetrators were members of the high school’s immensely successful football team. Like Steubenville, the town of Maryville rallied behind the alleged rapists and ostracized the victim. And like Steubenville, the events in Maryville are quickly becoming a national story.
In some ways, though, the Maryville case is actually worse. Barnett, aside from being a celebrated athlete, also happens to be the grandson of a prominent Missouri state senator. Less than a week before the charges against Burnett and Zech were dropped, Daisy’s mother got a phone call from a friend who warned that ” favors were being called in and that the charges would be dropped.”
The Nodaway County prosecutor Robert Rice, who was responsible for the case against Barnett and Zech, also has political ties to Rex Barnett, the grandfather of Matt Barnett. When the mother of the victim sought an explanation from Rice as to why he dropped the charges against both boys, he ignored her phone calls. The Star finally tracked down Rice months later and asked the same question, and — in his office, where a picture of Rex Barnett hangs — he told the paper simply that it was due to a lack of evidence. He went on to dismiss the events of that night as the act of “incorrigible teenagers.”
The video that Zech admitted to filming on an iPhone has never surfaced, not even to police. And Missouri state law dictates that in cases where the charges are dropped, all of the records pertaining to the case — interviews with eyewitnesses, tests done on bedsheets, the results of rape kits — are sealed.
Even if Maryville didn’t learn anything from the Steubenville case, the media has an opportunity to show that they have. As rape cases have emerged in the national spotlight, news outlets from ABC News to Yahoo have been quick to portray the accused rapists as the real victims, denied of promising futures, or an opportunity to play in a few high school football games.

Friday, October 11, 2013

My Friday Decree

From henceforth i will no longer eat good food for lunch on Fridays (if i am at work). I just spent the past 20 minutes stretched out on my desk. At least there was no drool. And it was during y lunch break so its not like anyone can REALLY say anything but still lol

Friday, October 4, 2013

Its the little things

I went into the store the other day and what did i see?

Mutha-luvin Count Chocula Cereal!!!!!

Oh the memories. This was one of my absolute favorite cereals as a kid. Mostly because i'm a choc-o-holic lol. And because it was pretty much banned in my house. I honestly can't even remember the last time i had it. And nowadays, they only sell it around halloween. The next time i'm in the store and see it, i'm buying a box!

Doesn't take much to please me lol.

Have a good weekend. If you are like me and plan on turning up for Independence Day, be safe. Oil up them joints before you commence to twerking and such ;)

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

No Ma'am, Not Me

One of the great mysteries of the world is why oh why do women feel the need to fight (physical or verbal) other women...because of a man? One thing that i make abundantly clear in any relationship-friendlationship-friends with benefits- i wanna get to know ya type situation is that I WILL NOT fight another chick over you. If you place me in a situation where there even is another chick to fight, you've by default let me know that you (a) are not serious (b) are not worth my time (c) have no respect for me- or minimal respect at best- or our relationship. So I have a tendency to say good riddance to bad rubbish in such a scenario. On occasion i may let you know what a scumbag i think you are but that's about it.

Its really quite pathetic. Especially if you're starting a fight over some d!(k that you don't even own. Hell, i had a friend i used to work with some years ago when i was still in the mental health racket. I guess he was dating/sexing/whatevering these two girls that worked with us. They found out about it and instead of taking the L and moving on with their lives, they went into the parking lot and start beating each others asses. Really though? All of that over that dude? Of course they got fired behind it. And while they were bruising each other up and losing their paychecks, this fool (and pretty much everyone else who saw/heard about it) was sitting up laughing about it. SMH. Do better ladies. There's no man worth this kind of foolishness. Especially one who ain't s#!+ to begin with.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013


Today is the 1st of October.

Today, Nigeria marks 53 yeas of independence. In the grand scheme of things, still a baby with lots of space for growth, development, maturity, etc etc. But still old enough to not be dealing with some of the issues it faces.

Today, Lady Ngo's World turned 3 years young. As in it should be walking, talking, and fully potty-trained by now. :)

Today is the first day of the last quarter of 2013. 2014 is on the horizon.

Say yes to your blessing and no to your stressing.

Lady Ngo for President!

I'm out.

Monday, September 30, 2013


My Mommy and Daddy came to visit me this weekend :)

a family selfy lol

me and daddy

me and mommy

Old people with iPhones

Saturday, September 28, 2013

I'm curious

What exactly were Mr. Dalvin and Devante Swing's purpose for being in Jodeci? LOL. K-Ci and JoJo did most if not all of the vocals. Were they just supposed to be eye candy or something? Not that i have a problem with that since K-Ci and JoJo were never much to look at.

Well, i can't front, i did have a lil crush on K-Ci growing up lol. But then, like DMX, he turned all crackheadish and lost any ounce of appeal that he once had.

Anywho, yeah so Dalvin and DeVante. Man. I'd pay good money to see Jodeci in concert. But they'd have to do that 2Pac hologram thing and bring back Jodeci of the 90s cuz they're all looking a mess now. Well, Last time i saw a pic of Dalvin he didn't look too bad. Just not as cute as when he was younger. Even DeVante...if not for that awful face tattoo wouldn't be completely terrible. Oh Well.

Friday, September 27, 2013

Its a small world

I remember reading some time ago about a married couple that found a childhood photo that the wife had taken at Disney World and they discovered that the husband was actually in the photo with her. He was in the background being pushed in a stroller by his father. How freaking cool is that? Cool..and a little creepy. Just goes to show how small this world truly is.

I had similar thoughts when i went to London. Being the tourist that i was, I was usually surrounded by other tourists, taking endless amounts of pictures. I always wondered what if i'm strolling the internet one day and see myself in the background of some random picture? What if i'm one of those random people who marries some guy who turns up in the background of one of my childhood pictures (or vice versa). Kinda reminds me of The Grudge lol. (I hope not)

*You can read the story here

While i have your attention, allow me to rant a little.

Am i seriously the only one who didn't take that 300 sandwich=engagement ring seriously? Because people were losing their freaking minds. I don't know that girl or her dude personally but come on. If you actually read the story, it sounded like she made the dude a good sandwich and he off-handedly said he'd marry her because of her cooking prowess. She took that premise and used it as a blog theme. Boom. The end. I don't think he actually meant that he wouldn't marry her until she made 300 sandwiches. Geez. I know i've offered up mangagement rings (male engagement ring) because of good food. The true path to someone's heart may not be through their stomach but there's certainly a detour that cuts through there!

Correct! (source)
Also...i don't like velvet skirts/wrappers. I don't know how or why the trend started but it needs to go away. In the past year, i think i've seen maybe 3 or 4 styles that i've actually thought were nice. And even then they were...bedazzled, for lack of a better word. I've yet to see a plain velvet wrapper that i thought looked like anything. No shade (ok, maybe a little shade) to the folks rocking em but please. Enough already.

Have a good weekend folks

Monday, September 23, 2013

Shortcut Chef-ery

LOL, you guys are acting as if i'm Gordon Ramsey or something. All this jealousy over 20 minute meals? I KNOW that all of you that complained have made much more fanciful and scrump-deli-umtious meals than what i mentioned. And pics? This is not restaurant quality work o! You want me to post pics so you can abuse me abi? I know your tricks. LOL

I am a shortcut cook. I don't make any meal that will take me longer than 30 minutes or so from start to finish. Especially since its just me i'm cooking for.

But if you insist on pictures, this is what i had for dinner (and lunch):
baked lemon pepper tilapia

suya tilapia..with not enough suya lol
Of course, the fish was served over way too much fluffy jasmine rice. It was good though. I should probably get in the habit of eating vegetables. Maybe next week lol.

So as you can see, there's no need for the jealous stares. Happy Monday to you all.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Lady Ngo's Kitchen

I don't like cooking. Never have, and probably never will. I don't like the idea that somehow cooking is woman's work (yet somehow probably 99% of the worlds top chefs are men...imagine that). I don't accept the conclusion that somehow you are less of a woman because you don't or don't like to cook. Bullocks.

I do like to bake though...but only because i like baked goods. I am a cookie, brownie, doughnut and pastry addict.

But i digress- snacks and the politics of gender stereotypes are not the topic of the day.

My kitchen is a place where miracles are made lol. Since i've absconded from my mother's palace, i've done so many miraculous (well miraculous to me) things in my kitchen. Amazing jollof rice. Check. Tuwo shinkafa and red stew (and fish). Check. Ridiculously juicy and flavorful lemon pepper chicken. Check. The best sticky rice i think i've ever made in my life. Check. Various forms of pan-seared and baked tilapia. Check.

I tell ya, i'm on a freaking roll over here. (Much to the dismay of my wallet. But hey, a girl's gotta eat, right?) You should see some of the jealous stares i get when i bring leftovers to work for lunch lol.