Tuesday, February 28, 2012

let me ask you a question...

and be honest....




Do i make you horny baby? Do i? Do i make you randy???


*please do not feel obligated to answer this...especially if you know that YOU don't make ME horny/randy!






Something truly is wrong with my brain lol.


Anyway, on to more important topics. My God-Daughter turned 6 yesterday and i'm truly in a state of disbelief. I don't know where the time is going. I remember when i first found out her mother was pregnant, i remember the first time i held her (and all those special trips i made from FL to NY to see her lol), i remember  her Christening...all of it i remember as it happened yesterday. 6 years has really gone by in a flash. My babies are growing up way too fast.


me and "baby" Shayla
me and "big girl" Shayla



I had my midterm evaluation at my internship today and it was amazing. I got some wonderful feedback from my supervisors, one of whom is even trying to find me a job at the college because she doesn't want to see me leave and because she truly believes in me and my capabilities. I cannot even begin to tell you had good that made me feel. Especially with all the drama that was going on at my actual job. That validation from someone who has been in the field for so long....its a confidence boost.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Food for thought

Love isn't about flirting, hugs, kisses and sex. Love is about taking all those things away and still having feelings for that person.


Reading that quote made me think. I've had 2 seriously recurring questions over the past few months or so. The first being do i believe that 2 people can really make a love connection via the internet. The other being do i really expect a man to "wait for me" in the context of being in a LDR and him having...urges when i'm not around, as well as in the sense that unintentional indefinite celibacy (which started as faithful abstinence since i was in a LDR for a while...but thats dead and gone now) has been the name of the game in my pants neck of the woods for the past year+ and i'm sure will continue for a while. Hell, someone asked if i believe in love at all. (go 5 seconds without a bf and people assume you have an icebox where your heart used to be...smh)


Well all i can say is that if the above quote has any truth to it, then my answer is yes...to it all. Now stop asking me! lol


Happy New Week to all of y'all!


Mood Music:


Saturday, February 25, 2012

Sometimes I treat myself

I've been going on and on about getting a new phone for a minute now...and i FINALLY went and got one yesterday! ByeBye Samsung Rogue, HELLOOOOOOOOOO Samsung Epic 4g!

Even though the new phone is basically just a bigger, smarter version of the old one, i'm still excited. My old phone needed to be put out to pasture anyway. Half of the screen stopped working, the battery could barely hold a charge and i dropped it so many times it looked like someone had been chewing on it. No Bueno!

I've been trying to get this phone for like 2 months now. Its funny, one of the dudes in my office was randomly talking about buying a new phone and it turns out he was buying the Epic as well. I was hot because i had been trying since forever to get this damn phone and everywhere i went they didn't carry it or had literally just sold their last one...and here this bitchass dude was getting his in a couple of days! But he actually has the Epic 4g Touch...no qwerty keyboard. But wait til i walk in my office on monday...like a BOSS...with my sexy new phone which is fully equipped with both the touch screen AND qwerty keyboard. lol #HatersGonHate
Haters Gonna Hate Doug Funny

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Thursday, February 23, 2012

I need a laugh (again)

I needed a little pick-me-up so i figured i'd share some funny stuff...








Cats are freaking weirdos.


Sidenote: Special thanks to those who checked on me, really appreciate the luv ♥
And special thanks to those that sent greetings and cards and stuff from valentines day :) Glad i could help brighten some of your days.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Barely There

I watch way too much tv...well commercials really. Not a day goes by that i don't see the commercial for the Trojan Bare Skin condoms. Aside from the requisite thoughts about "bear skin", i'm a bit troubled by the selling point of it feeling like nothing is there. First of all, almost all of Trojans different lines of condoms have ultra thin versions already (please, for all sake of all that is good in this world- do not ask me why i know this information) so how much thinner do these things need to be? And if it indeed feels like nothing is there....how will you know if/when nothing really is there?!? Condoms break...this is fact. Aren't there enough knocked up pregnant people in the world as it is? Why make it easier for those numbers to accidentally go up???







Similarly we have the birth control pill Seasonique- who advertise that their pill will result in you only having 4 periods a year. Now i hate my period as much as the next chick but um...i need my period every month! I don't wanna find out 3 months down the road when my period was supposed to come but doesn't that i'm preggo! That's counterproductive. Not to mention that while they (and some other folks) say that there's no medical reason to get your period every month...i have to believe there's a reason other than Eve's foolish eating of the apple (if thats how you interpret that scripture) that i naturally get the great joy of dealing with this hellish bull$#it every X-number of days instead of every 3 months!


Of course, the simple solution to all of this is to keep your va-jay-jay or your pee-pee to yourself and then you won't have to worry about pregnancy scares and such...but you know how it is...

Monday, February 20, 2012

Starting the week off right

With some randoms...


I have a phobia of being misunderstood. I'm not sure where it came from, but its definitely something i've become more cognizant of recently.

My Saturday-Sunday was awesome thanks to someone very special and I just wanna say thank u and luv u bunches. *You know yourself*
I mean "awesome" in a completely family-friendly kinda way before you people start getting the wrong idea lol
There's this guy that i kinda sorta have my eye on. Then there's this girl that i think has her eye on the same dude. She has been acting a hot funky mess towards me recently- and i think its over the guy. But she clearly doesn't know that if she keeps this mess up, she's gonna be walking down the street with 3 shoes...2 on her feet and one in her ass! #DontMessWithMe

So me and special person mentioned in bullet 2 did some detective work this weekend, and i think we've cracked the case of the mysterious secret admirer lol. Definitely wasn't who i expected...but then again we could be wrong.

Somebody just walked past my door and let out the loudest most disgusting belch i've ever heard. Nasty Mofos!

I'm a major procrastinator. I would've thought that by now i would have outgrown this but clearly i haven't. I spent all day saturday doing assignments that i put off til the last minute. SMH. I need to do better.

my roots = thick as hell. at some point this week i need to make an appointment with my stylist. can't be walking around looking like this anymore.

Hayle to the naw wit all these pregnancies and engagements. I thought 2010 and 2011 were bad. Damn yo, literally every day i find out something new. Well God bless all those in my life that are embarking on the journey of marriage and/or parenthood this year. (i'm good though)

I bought new shower gel that smells amazing and has my skin feeling smooth as silk and as soft as what i've always imagined a cloud would feel like. Awesome-sauce

You cannot pay me enough to work with high school kids. No Sir/Ma'am! Having to deal with those little *expletive* for one day was waaaaay more than enough for me.

Happy new week good people!

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Its not just me

Sometimes when blogsville is a lil slow (which is practically every weekend- *side eye*) i go back through old posts just to catch up on the conversations that started or continued after i had hit the submit comment button and moved on. Some of the comments and convos i read...well all i can say is blogsville desperately needs more men it's not just me...thank goodness.


Don't mind me...too much hw and its frying my brain. Hope you all are having (or had, depending on when you read this) a good weekend!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Thursday blues

Everyone (well, not everyone, just a few people) is getting on my fucking nerves today. I should’ve just stayed in my damn bed! I swear some of these people really wanna find out what the 5 fingers said to the face...

And the worst thing about it is that I feel bad that I’m so mad at these people. Despite my usual constant bouts of rage, I really don’t like being angry. Not just because it would be so much nicer/easier to be happy, but because I genuinely feel bad/guilty when I’m mad at people. (And I don’t like being in a funky mood but having to pretend I’m in a good mood)


Le Sigh


Anyway, I really like my twitter avi. I love when I look cute/pretty. It doesn’t happen often so I relish the times that I can stop and say “damn Jen, you be killin em”

Sometimes im a lil ratchet

I pity anyone who rides in the car with me long distances cuz i listen to some really ratchetty sh!t sometimes lol. I can't help it. I blame it on living in ghetto ass Tampa for so long. Thank goodness i'm a pro at code-switching, i'd hate for some of this nonsense to slip into my professional dialogue and interactions.

So if you ever find yourself at a club, bar, or party with Lady Ngo and any of these songs come on...be prepared to be embarrassed at how much i'm gettin down to em lol









Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Valentine's Day memories

I was waxing sentimental so i decided to take a trip down memory lane about Valentine's Days past. Join me, won't you. Its a long read, so feel free to skip around.

Sidenote: Thank goodness i wrote this post in advance...because i'm rather tipsy at the moment lol. Valentine's Day was good to me this year. Feel free to skip ahead to "2012" if you want lolz

1987-1999
Valentine's day pretty much consisted of Mommy and/or Daddy (and later on Step-Daddy) being my valentine. In school, we would exchange those cheesy lil valentine's day cards that came like 28 in a pack (1 for each of your classmates). By the end of elementary school like 5th and 6th grade, we graduated to having "special valentines" lol. Being the popular young lass i was, i always had a number of valentines. Some of whom's gifts i still have locked away in my closet at my parents house lol.

2000-2003
Valentine's Day went on hiatus during these years. IDK, i must have been going through my ugly duckling phase or something. No Love...at least none that i can remember.

2004
By Val's Day this year, me and Red had been together for quite some time, so of course he was my Valentine lol. I remember him asking me which lunch period i had and on that day, him coming up to my school at the end of my lunch period armed with a dozen long stemmed red roses, a big ass box of chocolate, balloons, a card and of course a huge hug and kiss lol.You can imagine the jealous stares i recieved throughout the cafeteria. Don't jealous me o!

2005
Me and Red were still together...sorta. We were in a downward slope at this point. But all that changed when a couple of days to Valentine's Day i was over his house, messing around in his room (abeg, not that kind of messing around) and i found a red tin box. Being the nosey mofo that i am, i opened it, and inside was a ring box...you know i couldn't resist opening the ring box. So with bated breath, i flipped the box open and there was THE most gorgeous ring i've ever seen. Chai. I nearly fainted. And of course in the midst of me being a nosey ass and ruining whatever moment Red had planned, he walked in and...well, yeah. *So that's a snippet of the engagement story*

2006
My freshman year of college. At this point, me and Red are no more and there have been a few toasters come and go between then and now *long story, don't ask. just read my memoirs in about 40 years* My valentine's day this year was...interesting. First, the man that i was crushing majorly on, one fine fine boy from Warri (that, to be honest, to this very day could still get the business lol) asked me to come with him to pick out a gift for his girlfriend *please tell me on what planet do they do this kind nonsense...as if the fact that some other woman snatched him up was not insult enough mscheeewww* But i liked him and i liked his company and i needed to get out of the damn dorm so i went along. The first thing he said to me when he saw me was "damn, why you look so sexy today" so that made up for the fact that i was helping him buy another woman a vday gift. Afterward, i spent some time with this guy that i was talking to...but that was just...yeah, moving on. So by like 8 o'clock i was back in my dorm sitting around bored when i get a phone call from my "special pookie" *more gist about him in the near future, i promise* asking what i was doing that night because he was gonna swing past for a few. I wasn't doing anything so i said sure, call me when you're downstairs. So some time passes and i get the call. I go out to meet him. He stepped out of the batmobile (thats what i used to call his car) and we hugged and said our hellos. And again, the first comment i got was, "damn, you had a date, why do you look so sexy" lol. We chatted for a little while then he goes in his car and pulls out a single long stem red rose for me...accompanied by a very soft kiss on the cheek. #SoSweet. I actually still have the rose pressed in one of my scrapbooks lol. I am a hoarder of sentimental things.

2007
A "friend" of mine invited me to a "ladies night" event in Ybor City and thus started a damn near 5 year long on-again off-again romance, smh. It was a very nice event...there was champagne and strawberries and massages. Honestly, i was only 20 at this time and technically wasn't even old enough to be there since it was supposed to be a "grown and sexy" event. It was very awkward because all the other ladies there were talking about their jobs and their kids and all i could offer to the conversation was how much it sucks having class on fridays.

2008
This was probably by far the worst vday ever. Not only did i spend the day working an event...without my boyfriend. When i finally did bump into my boyfriend, he was "bumping into" another chick. AND it was our anniversary. Nice

2009
I have absolutely no recollection of this year so i assume nothing noteworthy happened lol.

2010
I had several boo-thangs at this time and all of them were acting crazy lol. The gifts i did get, i said no thank you to and pretty much cut all of them off. It was a weird valentine's day.

2011
I had a new boo...but too new for Valentine's Day to be significant for us. So there was a sort of awkward should i do/say something special or not. I think we went with not lol.

2012
As you all know, i gave out valentine's day cards to my blog readers. I hope you all got them (i know the ones that i sent in the mail might still be M.I.A- sorry about that) and enjoyed them. Today was a very good day. I was just so cheerful all day long. I really think someone slipped something in my juice this morning. Anywho, i did get a few surprises today, a very nice card from someone special, got a call from someone special (even though i missed it cuz i was at work...sorry boo!) and just had a great day chilling with my co-workers. I visited my fam for a lil while before i went to my staff meeting. After the staff meeting, went out for late night dinner and drinks with some good people (hence why i'm a lil tipsy right now). All in all, even without a boo to cuddle up with, it was a good valentine's day :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day

Just some funny memes for all of you who are planning on going half on a baby tonight (or this afternoon or whenever), need some help with the pickup lines...or just feel like laughin. Happy Valentine's Day people! (All my cards have been mailed/emailed out. 
If you didn't get your card or ur having trouble opening it, please let a sistah know...thanks)










Disclaimer: These memes do no reflect the activities that i plan to partake in for valentine's day. The following memes are more realistic as to how Feb 14th will look in my bubble:
(^^^This is the ForeverAlone meme for those that are unfamiliar)






Monday, February 13, 2012

Oooh baby i like it raw

Not really.

I was reading a post over at NakedWithSocksOn that really got me to thinking...Basically the post was about a young man who just got married but didn't want to sleep with his wife without a condom on their wedding night. Personally, i'm on his side! I'd prefer to rock a condom for the rest of my natural life, spouse or no spouse. What surprised me is that i've never met a man with that same mentality lol.

He was concerned about knocking her up. Like i've always expressed, who the hell wants to spend the 1st year of their marriage being pregnant (or in his case dealing with a pregnant woman- those are my words btw) rather than simply enjoying your new life as husband and wife? I sure as hell don't. But i'd also like to throw in there that um...all the vows and trust in the world is not going to keep me from catchin any STDs/STIs you might pick up should your dick decide to become adventurous. Is it effed up to assume that your husby (or wifey, as the case may be) is cheating/going to cheat? Yeah, a lil. But that same trust is the reason why black women, married couples and older adults are the leading cases of new HIV (and probably other STD) infections.

Now the average person will disagree with me. I don't doubt that at all. But i like to make the analogy to the prenup because its pretty much the same thing. You don't think that we'll ever get a divorce and you dont think that i'll turn into a bitter gold-digging vindictive psycho bitch if we do...but you still wanna protect yourself...and i'm suppossed to be ok with that. So why is it such a far leap to say that yeah, i dont think you'll be a cheating bastard...but i wanna use condoms and protect myself just in case you are? Quite frankly, you can get that money you lost in a divorce back...i can't get rid of an STD (with a few exceptions).

I've been told a billion times over that i need to be more realistic about cheating...so this is me being realistic lol. Your thoughts?

Oh and happy new week too by the way :)

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Tribute to a Diva

How crazy is it to hear that Whitney Houston passed?!? At 48...so young. Such an incredible talent lost.




I'm Your Baby Tonight



Exhale (Shoop Shoop)

Count on Me



Heartbreak Hotel

It's Not Right, But its Ok



I Learned from the Best

RIP Whitney Houston...one of the greatest of all time.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

random tales

Sunday when i came back to the apartment, there was blood all over the floor on the first floor. I really was hoping it was just ketchup or something. But then i got in the elevator and the blood trail continued. When i got off the elevator, the blood trail continued still....all the way to the door of my hall. I still have no idea what that was about.

Tuesday night when i was on my way to my staff meeting, i passed by these people having a conversation that was way too loud. All i heard was the boy say to the girl: "What??? You really think i'm gonna fuck you while you have a UTI (urinary tract infection)?!?" Interesting.

After my staff meeting, i made a pit stop at the store and the guy in front of me in the checkout line had nothing but a big ass box of Magnums (those are "extra large" condoms for those that don't know). Hmph, wishful thinking.

In regards to Valentine's day, i've only heard from Tamie, Myne, FatHead and Coy~Introvert...I know Adede said she emailed me but i didn't get anything from you :( At this point, its strictly e-cards. So again, if you really want one, last chance...email me: usfgirl86@yahoo.com or just drop your email addy in the comment box.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Now Watch Me Do My Azonto

My weekend was AWESOME. I got to reconnect with my a lot of my peeps..some of whom i haven't seen in God only knows how long. The Miss Africa Pageant was nice. Congrats to Miss Ghana (i don't remember her name *covers face*) for taking home the crown...and Miss Sierra Leone for doing an amazing job as well.

I came to Tampa completely unprepared. As in, i didn't pack any clothes (other than pjs, normal street clothes and of course the sexy underthings *wink*) and i ran out of the house without my heels. So you know what that means...SHOPPING! LOL. I didnt get anything special. Just a cute little red and black top, some black skinny jeans...and the black shoes i showed you guys the other day!!! I was trying to get the red pumps too but they only had them in black, gray, and blue. *sad face* My bestie got the pumps in black. I honestly think those are her 1st pair of high heels *don't ask*

Being in Tampa, i've realized something very important about myself: I'm a F*CKING FLIRT! Like damn. Put a sexy person within 3 feet and i must say something lol. And for the record: Ghanaians...whew  #FinePassAnything *secretly hoping none of them know about my blog* I really do have a lot of sexy guy friends...i wonder if thats why i'm always in such a frenzy to get back over there #Hmmm

Now on to the party...I had FUN. Would've had more fun if there were actual adults there though lol. All them rugrats runnin around...smh. Clearly i'm getting old. I told some of them the next time they wanna throw a party, they need to put age 23+ on the invitation. For heavens sake. But anyway, like i said, i had fun. By Sunday i didn't even have any voice anymore. You should have seen me and my bootleg azonto lol. And i didn't even drink...except a sip here and sip there from other people's drinks (i'm so cheap). But that also taught me another valuable lesson: make sure you know exactly what you're drinking before you drink it. One drink i stole a sip from was a cup full of straight spiced rum...i thought it was rum and coke so i took a big gulp...HUGE MISTAKE. My throat was on fire for a good 10 minutes.

All in all, a VERY good weekend. I hope you all had great weekends too and are off to a great start to a new week :)

I guess i should say congrats to the NY Giants for winning the superbowl (since i'm a new yorker and all) and congrats to Ghana for winning in their match against Tunisia (since i'm overly enamored with Ghanaians this weekend lol)

Friday, February 3, 2012

I like the way you move

Its friday...i'm going to Tampa for the weekend (after i get off from work of course)...and i'm gonna party til i'm blue in the mutha f*ckin face! Its been way too long since i've had a good time. This weekend hopefully will be it.So in light of that i decided to get myself pumped with some timeless party starters:
Sidenote: in case you were wondering- Dear YOU totally went over YOU's head, smh. And since the message went clear over YOU's head, YOU has been demoted to you. Adios amigo.
Back to the music:


You can't tell me NOTHING when this song comes on! Clear the dance floor cuz  #IBeKillinEm


No words necessary


Et on dit premier n'est pas gaou oh... C'est deuxieme gaou qui est niata oh! #TrueTalk


Its been a million years since i heard this one at a party but dammit its my tune.


For Ndi Igbo Ibem...Gyrate


Dance Dance Dance... and forget your sorrow!

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Its February

Its a new month...

its a leap year which means this is a "month" that only happens once every 4 years

Its Black History Month...the one time of the year American schools (and society by and large) pretend that they care about the achievements of African Americans...which usually only includes a blurb about MLK, a lil something-something about Rosa Parks, some stuff about George Washington Carver, a snippet about Malcolm X and if you're lucky a honorable mention to Madame CJ Walker. At least thats what it was like when i was in K-12

Its February, that unanimously dubbed "month of love"

only 2 weeks to valentine's day. there's a buttload of you that asked for v-day cards but didn't email me...so yeah if you still want one.
Speaking of which, a certain someone owes me BIG TIME for sending him a card. Lord knows i didn't expect it to cost me that much just to put ordinary card in the mail. Damn. Because of that unforeseen expense, i wasn't able to buy these shoes i was drooling over in the shoe store today:


And the red one looked so damn sexy and perfect on my foot....smh. See my love for you, e don dey pass my shoe obsession. Funny story tho, went i went to have the guy at the post office put my letter in the mail he looked at the address then looked at me, cocked his eyebrow and said "do you know this person?" LOL, no be 419 issue sir, just a simple Vals Day card.

Anyway I don't have a valentine this year. But i guess it is inconsequential since my supervisor just told us Tuesday night that he's not going to cancel our staff meeting on the 14th. #rude LOL

Since this is the month of love and we've all been chatting about marriage and divorce and settling and blah blah blah, i thought i'd share this cute vid clip i saw this morning :)





Last thing- i went to throw my trash out today (which means i had to take it out to the dumpster outside) and there was a squirrel messing around in there. When i went to throw my trash bag in, the squirrel popped out and i nearly shit myself lol. That thing scared me so bad. But im a G though, i didn't scream. I just gasped and stumbled a lil and i think my heart skipped a couple of beats but i was cool.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

bleep bleep mutha-bleep


I don't understand how people can cuss at their parents. I was walking back to the parking garage from my office today and this girl was walking next to me having a very animated phone conversation. I assumed she was talking to a friend or something but then i heard "What the hell Mom, i have until the 11th to get it done. Its not even february yet" My eyebrows shot up because i remember the 1st time i said hell in front of my mother (definitely not to her) her head snapped around so quick i thought she was going to break her neck lol. But anywayz, i shrugged it off and kept walking.

Not 2 seconds later i hear the girl say "Well what the fuck is the problem then" My jaw nearly hit the floor. I can't eve BEGIN to imagine the hell fire i would face if i dropped the f-bomb to my mother. I can't even say 'damn' in front of that woman without getting threatened to receive a beating.

I do remember one time i said the f-word to my mom. Totally by accident mind you. We were on the phone and i was going through something really dramatic (like seriously dramatic) and she was being a mommy and comforting me and letting me air my grievances and i remember in my angst and between tears and sobs i said something like "i don't know what the fuck they want me to do" I remember mommy tell me something comforting and to call her back later or something. I walked up the stairs to my apartment, laid down on my bed...then immediately bolted upright and said "OH MY GOD did i just say "fuck" to mother?!?" and was literally in a hysterical panic for the next like 2 days lol.

My point is, it amazes and perplexes me whenever i hear people cuss at their parents. Cuz the thought never crossed my mind...ok i'm lying, the thought has definitely crossed my mind lol! But i would never have the gall to do such a thing forreal. Even in my teenage angst when i wanted nothing more than to be 1000000 miles away from my mother, i never once cussed at her or even thought about actually doing it. I enjoy being alive too much!

Interesting (or not so interesting) side notes:

  • My deodorant smells amazing!
  • I have an overabundance of brownies in my house now thanks to the peer pressure from #OOMF
  • There is something so off-putting about seeing a man and a woman in a car together and the woman is driving.
 A pearl of wisdom from twitter:  might seem emotionally detached at times, but they love you a lot more than you think.(Yes i'm a Sagittarius...and yes i cosign this statement)