Tuesday, October 30, 2012

These People Have Come Again

In the span of about 24 hours i've gotten wind of 3 engagements and 1 wedding invitation. When the hell did my life become about this? I'm lying, my life has been a nonstop barrage of engagements, weddings, babies, home buying, etc for the past 3-4 years (not to talk of all the people who started making babies immediately after high school). Everyone is "growing up" which is just sooo not cool.

In addition to these wonderful announcements i've also been part of a number of "you're getting older, when are you going to settle down, etc" conversations. And i let my mother know that i ran off and got married last week (lol...long story that i'll share at a later date) which only led to even more conversations about the settling down business. This type of stuff always comes in abundance, i don't know why.

Anywho, this latest wedding is taking place on my birthday. I don't know how i feel about that. This is the first time in like 5 years that my bday is on the weekend (and the last time it was on the weekend i spent my 21st bday celebrating someone else's graduation) and i'm gonna spend it at somebody's wedding?!? My mom says to look at the bright side, i have a free party to go to for my birthday and i don't even have to do the organizing lol. Whatever Mom. Guess i need to start working on finding myself a date.

Friday, October 19, 2012


TGIF right?!?

So i went to the store yesterday and as i was getting close to the door, another lady was approaching from the opposite direction. She made eye contact, smiled and said a cheerful hello (in a completely no homo kinda way). In my head i thought, aw how polite, so i smiled and said my hellos back. Then you know what happened? This hoe closed the damn door in my face! I was literally like 2.5 steps behind her. Instead of holding the door long enough at least for me to catch it and let myself in, she let the shit shut in my face. And then she did it again when we got to the next set of doors! The second time she barely even opened it up enough for herself to get through. Rude piece of garbage. UUUUURRRGGGHHHH! That's not even why i planned on blogging today but that just burned my toast!

ANYWAY, what i really came to chat about was something i'm sure most of you have already figured out about me by now. And that, is the fact that i'm a freaking weirdo! My interest is piqued by the most ridiculous things. So i ran into this beautiful man that i haven't seen in a while (he was abroad for a bit) and when we went to greet one another, he gave me a hug and said "hey *insert Lady Ngo's surname*, how have you been" and i damn near fainted. I can't tell you how sexy it is to me that he pronounced my last name so perfectly and with such ease. I have no idea why that was so sexy to me...but it was. Sigh. If only he weren't such a total whore. SMH

This also amuses me:

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

See jamb question

I had so many different things i wanted to talk about but i'd much rather just have a laugh instead.

I saw this vid earlier in the day when i was flipping through tumblr. (yeah i tumbl)

totally off-topic but i seriously don't understand my Naija sistas and this hair business. For as much money as people spend for these wigs and weaves and things it should be against the law for you to come outside with your head looking anyhow. I always just assumed it was because of the heat/weather condition. But then i see ladies whose hair looks fabu and i'm left scratching my head wondering wtf happened with everyone else. Dry stringy ponytails, lacefronts pulled down to your eyebrows, bangs that stick out like a chicken. C'mon man. Not ok.

I type this as i sit here with at least an inch or two of new growth looking a hot ass mess. Pot, meet kettle.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Foodie things

I am very VERY particular about my food. I'm probably the most finicky eater on the planet. If it doesn't sound right, look right, or smell right...i'm not eating it. Nope. And even the stuff i do eat, it needs to be prepared juuuuuuuust so. When it comes to Nigerian food, i'm strictly a snacks/small chops kinda girl. Things that i always assumed people couldn't get wrong. But i've definitely been disappointed in the past.

How can you make meat pie with no meat? Literally just potato, onion and vegetable. Who does that? Such people deserve 2 hot slaps. One for false advertisement and another for good measure! Similarly, fish is not an acceptable substitute unless explicitly stated. I can't imagine the level of disappointment. It must be similar to opening your fridge, seeing a tub of ice cream and finding egusi inside instead (or at least thats what i heard lol) I did meet one girl who made the absolute best meat pie i've ever had in my entire life! I asked her if she was married and offered to pay her bride price on the spot lol.

I went to a party and there was puff-puff there. Of course i was excited because i only know like 1 person that ever makes puff puff and she doesn't make it often (and i refuse to make it myself). I go to bite into my snack and damn near lost a tooth! Puff Puff should not be harder than chin chin. Please take note.

Another party i went to, i got a nice big heaping helping of jollof rice. Like super huge portion. Now i know most people prefer "party rice" but I do not. And had i known that thats what was going down i would've eaten something else lol. That smoky flavor was sooooooo overpowering. It literally felt like i was eating charcoal. All i could see in my head was someone back in their backyard cooking the rice over a log and open flame lol. A lil smoke is okay but i still feel like i should be able to taste the rice.

Ah, this life. I feel bad for any potential spouse that feels like i should do all the cooking. Maybe i should put that in a pre-nup. Thou shall not cheat, philander, nor file for divorce due to issues relating to my cooking and thine palate.

Disclaimer: I mean no offense to those who enjoy hella smoky jollof rice, rock hard puff puff, or meatless meat pie. 

Sidenote: man, the VP debate last night was a freaking slaughter. Biden went IIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN! Uncle Joe was having none the republicans' bullshiggidy and shenanigans last night!!! If he weren't married, he could definitely be my sugar daddy. Oh did i mention that i'm in the market for a sugar daddy (or to be a kept woman)? Cuz that's the back-up plan in case this whole finding gainful employment thing doesn't work out. lol- i'm laughing but i'm serious.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Its my dawg's birthday

Happy Birthday to my second favorite big headed person in the world (you are old as hell too, if i do say so myself) :-D

Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
your heart is true
you're a pal and a confidante

And if you threw a wedding party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see
The biggest gift would be from me
And the card attached would say
Thank you for being a frieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend!

In case you were wondering, i'm talking about this guy and yes, this is the theme song from The Golden Girls lol.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

well damn, at some point today i crossed the 100k pageview mark. yippee to me lol

Weighing In

I watched the Presidential debate last night. Let me just say epic fail for all parties involved, in my opinion.
Mittens was rude and condescending, danced around all the questions asked of him, and still hasn't even began to discuss how he plans to accomplish all these so-called goals he has for the country. I'm not interested in hearing "We have to cut the deficit" "Obamacare is the spawn of Satan" "moral values this" "our creator that". I wanna hear some gosh darn facts. I wanna hear a plan of action. And that crack about cutting funding to Sesame Street and possibly firing the moderator (while providing fodder for some hilarious internet memes) was not cute .
Obama looked bored out of his freaking mind. He didn't look the least bit interested in being there. Whether this was a tactical approach or not, we can only speculate, and i def have a theory or two. But I will agree that there were definitely a few times that he could've called Romney out on his bullskittles and didn't. Probably just wanted to get home with Michelle and beat it out the frame celebrate their 20th anniversary.
And that damn moderator. Worst moderator i've ever seen in my entire freaking life. Seriously, its to the point that i suspect that he was on the Romney/Ryan payroll. Romney was talking over him, cutting him off, jumping all over my President, just being an ass and moderator dude wasn't saying nothing. But then had the nerve to turn around and cut off my President mid-sentence. SMH

I can't wait to hear what Stephen Colbert and John Stewart have to say about this. I could use a freaking laugh after these fools raised my blood pressure through the roof.

Moving on:
I volunteered to review program proposals for a National Conference being hosted by a professional association i am part of in my field. Man...procrastination got the best of me and i ended up reviewing all 6 proposals like 2 days before they were due. Shameful. It was a lot more difficult than i thought it would be but it was definitely a good experience.
I'm kinda doing the same thing again but for a different association. This time i'm getting a start on it early. From now i have 3 weeks to get it done and i only have 3 sets of documents to go over.

Last thing. I've been reading lately...a lot. Lack of gainful employment will do that to you. Anywho, I read "Say You're One of Them" by Uwem Akpan. Well i only got to read 2 of the 5 stories in the book but the two i read were very well written. I also read Scandalicious by Allison Hobbs. Good book but it took a while to get going and the end was so rushed. This book taught me a bit about myself. I am no where near being a freak lol. There were some parts in that book that i had to completely skip over cuz i'm just not bout that life. The last book i read was Married on Mondays by HoneyB. I did a short review of a similar novel by her called Single Husbands (back when my blog was a toddler and the only friends it had were KitKat, Myne, Ibhade, and Sisi Yemmie) which is basically the same story but from the opposite gender's perspective. It was a really good read and it further solidified the fact that i can never be with a man that will let me make him my bitch lol.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Go Get It

Hello all. Hope everyone is doing well. It is October 1st, 2012. We have officially entered into the 4th quarter of the year. Today marks 52 years of independence for our beloved (and sometimes not so beloved) Nigeria. Today also marks 2 years since i started this blog. I didn't think i'd be around this long. And for those of you that are still along for the ride, please know that i appreciate you. For those i've lost along the way...yeah well. Shit happens.

Its a new day, a new week, a new month....go get your blessing.