Tuesday, January 31, 2012

The past and the present

Do people really think divorce ( or at least the idea or desire for it) is new? I don't know how or why. I've heard so many times over "back in our (grand)parents day, people worked harder to keep their marriage together". First of all, how do you know that? Were you there? Back in our (grand)parents day, people didn't have as many life options which is why they (mostly women- it always has and probably always will be a man's world) weren't so quick to jump on the divorce bandwagon. I doubt highly that we can attribute it ALL to a harder work ethic. Shoot, there are still plenty of people in our day who are dead serious when they tell their children "you're married now, don't you bring your tail back to mama/papa house!" or "whatever you are doing to make him hit/yell/cheat on you, figure it out and stop doing that". Now if you were a woman, living in 1930s *insert community here*, with no college education, no possibility of getting a job, and have to deal with major social/religious stigma of being a divorcee...would you be as quick to think of divorce as a viable option? Didn't think so.

Now don't get me wrong, I do firmly believe that a lot of marriages end in divorce because people go into them without preparation, without being prayerful, and outright just being too lazy to put in work when the going gets tough. But just because your parents, grandparents, or whomever from yesteryear were married for 60 years, doesn't mean it was because they worked at it. Nor does it mean that they were a happy 60 years.

I know i'm beating a dead horse here but this one has been sitting in my drafts for a while now and well, YOLO so i figured i'd just go ahead and post it lol.


  1. Like you said, there are more options in today's society and less of a stigma to be a divorcee but I also think ppl choose divorce because they don't know that there are other ways in solving a problem or problems in a marriage or probably don't care enough to.
    All these ppl talking "grandparents/parents worked harder" need to also be aware that during that time if your husband was cheating on you, you swallowed it like panadol and beard with it Whether it was in your face or you suspected. That does not mean that you worked harder, but it was a norm or an acceptably social behavior

  2. YOLO!!!!! good you put it out..Marriage is like being a STAR..you WORK to GET THERE & WORK EVEN HARDER to STAY THERE..so my advice is BEFORE I DO,I DO..both parties gotta strap up for the bumpy ride..*without paying too much attention to the options around now*

    1. LOL, so many similes and metaphors! But you're right


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