Friday, September 30, 2011

Random FB Toasting

I've discussed my *ahem* disgust with FB toasters before. I no go send them at all! This morning (well yesterday morning) i was dickin around on facebook and got this random IM from some random person. Since i wasn't doing anything i decided to entertain this fellow. *i should have known better* Anywho the conversation started off with the normal "hey, how are you" nonsense and other pleasantries. Then the guy was like "I think you are beautiful, i love fat girls, your own is so special"

WTF?!? Did this nigga just call me fat? Like forreal. Its too damn early in the morning for this nonsense.

Anyway...moving right along with the conversation. Eventually we get into the discussion of whether or not i've been to Naija... and we all know the answer is a resounding no. So he says: "Jenny, its quite unfair that you've not visited your own country"

First of all, i hate when people call me Jenny. Very few people can say Jenny and not sound like a creeper. And i don't effing know you. Please refer to me as Jennifer unless we are familiar and/or you have been given permission to call me something else.
Next, unfair ke? How so? It is a matter of choice and circumstance. Nothing more, nothing less. Its not that serious, especially considering i don't know you nor will me having been to Naija make me get to know you.
Last, Why does it matter to you sir? I doubt your world is gonna stop rotating if i don't go to Nigeria.

And now we come to the coup de grace- In response to this gentleman's disappointment with my content in staying in the US, i offered up my typical sarcastic reply: "well as soon as you pay for the plane ticket and arrange accommodations for me, i'll be more than happy to visit "my country". Do you know what this fool said?!?

"Is it really that big of an arrangement for you? It is not a big deal for me and I could have done it for you if we were close. or maybe youre just a destitute in America. Anyway, i was born in Moscow and now i live and do business in Nigeria. I am also a graduate of accountancy here in Nigeria and hopefully looking towards being a politician..."

HAYLE NAW! This fool did not just form as if he is a big boy, use style to insult me, and then attempt to continue conversing with me. Jesus please take the wheel!

In closing, i have no idea what this guy was trying to accomplish. If this was his idea of some preliminary toasting, he failed miserably. If he was trying to get deleted from my friends list, he has succeeded.


  1. thats one Slick mofo on your Facebook Chat... i personally cant stand Fb Chat (when i had a FB)... not to say i had toasters or whatever. But i hate having arkward conversations with people i have no plans or intentions or seeing. Yeah, but you know Nigerian Guys like toasting girls over the internet. soo im usually not surprised that he did that.

  2. lwkm.................i wan ask my own questn o.
    Jenny, why haven't you visited your country???/.*pls dont shoot me.
    its just better to ignore them messages, most of them end badly

  3. wth?! oh no he didn't jus use "destitute". i gara give it to the guy tho, he's gat truckload of guts mehn. stupido sombory. I was just thinking about putting up a post about my fb toaster o. i have not been able to stop laffing.

  4. LMAO, dont kill me oo! the guy take style say his mind finish lol, anyway dear, please cheack out my last post cause I just passed on the most versatile blogger award to you!!! cheers

  5. Oh no he truly didnt just say that!!! R u serious now? No faster way for a Mofo to remind me of his existence and subsequently his dismissal/FB blockage than this! What stupidity! When things like this happen to me, I just go on rampage and start unfriending all those strangers in my friend's list...Mi o raye iranu (I dont have time for nonsense)

  6. Bwahahahahahahahah! You won't kill me biko, JENNY! It's called 'The knock-down' o. You won't believe how many girls that ish works on. They rip you to shreds and convince you that only they could ever be with your FAT self, and before you know it, you're going out with them and taking their shit without complaining.

    Ndi ara. E no go beta for them.

  7. People like to hide behind computer screens, they say things they would never say to your face over FB. He's a coward and an asshole. I think that's crazy!! You are hilarious though!!!

    Always, T :)

  8. lol,I've never been on FB sha but that's just freaky

  9. @lovelife4sale- yeah i was only surprised that he thought it was cool to be extra rude

    @luciano- yeah i usually do. I blame boredom for this one.

    @Toinlicious- lol, u should put it up. these guys are too funny sometimes

    @Priscy- thanks for the award hun *smiling from ear to ear*

    @HoneyDame- lol. i don't usually add strangers in the 1st place for this very reason.

    @igbogirlguide- i don't fall for that. there have been too many people who love my fat self lol. ara ga agba ndi ara indeed!

    @Tarah- Honestly, i just think he has no "game" lol

    @gretel- never been on fb?!? well good for you not getting addicted to the madness lol

  10. I trust that you gave him back some well deserved insults before you blocked him and reported him to facebook on trumped up pedophile charge? He-goat.

  11. @Ginger- Surprisingly, i just "turned the other cheek" lol


Feel free to share your thoughts too