Friday, September 2, 2011

I know they say 'never say never' but...

If i can't have a child, i will adopt or I just won't have children (im not sold on the idea anyway). I will not pay a surrogate, I will not do in vitro*, i will not take fertility drugs. This is something i stand strong on. I don't currently have any reproductive issues that I know of but I hope that if in the future i do, that whomever i marry understands and respects my stance.

I feel like if God wanted me to have a child, i'd have one. I know too many people who have miracle babies all the time to believe that I should take extreme measures just to say I have a baby. There are plenty of children in adoption centers, foster care, etc that need a good home for me to take all these extra unnecessary steps to make a baby of my own.

The motivation behind this post was an article i skimmed the other day talking about twin reduction. I can't even imagine having to be in a situation where i have to make a decision like that let alone actually going through with it. This is why i am so against fertility drugs specifically.

When you take these drugs, your chance of having multiple births sky-rockets! Basically what happens is these drugs cause the woman to release a gaggle of eggs in hopes that one will be fertilized, but what most often happens is a whole bunch of them end up fertilized. When that happens, it puts the babies and the mother's health in serious risk and selective reduction is advised.

Why would i even put myself in that kind of position? It just seems extremely selfish if you ask me. Jon & Kate (+8) used fertility drugs to conceive the first set of twins and then went back and decided to do it again and ended up with 6 more kids because they decided that they weren't going to abort any of the fetuses. The Octomom did in vitro twice and ended up with (probably on purpose to milk the system) 14 kids.

*The only instance where i feel like i would consider doing in vitro is if i marry another carrier so we can at least make the attempt to have children that don't have sickle cell or carry the trait. (Thanks for reminding me of that Ginger lol)


  1. Please don't remind me of that Octomom's horror. Lucky for her she's in the States and could get support for them.

    I do feel your point, but its also good that people now have these options. My classmate is an in-vitro kid (one of the first set in the 80s) and I still look on her with awe.

    y only vex is that science is trying its damned best to remove the 'baby' in fetus. twin/triplet/octuplet reductions etc

  2. Never say never.......
    I lost three pregnancies and I was seriously considering adoption before I started having my boys!

    Now, I hear horror stories about adoption ...and that option scares me.

  3. Never say never o.

    I will take fertility treatment up to a point, and I would rather have all the children than the so-called reduction. Eww...shivers.

  4. I agree with Myne - you never know. You might not have the reproductive issue, your husband might which would require in vitro. For folks that usually have multiple, multiples, they choose the amount of fertilized eggs that they put in the womb - some people increase the number to increase their chance that one will make it. Everyone's situation is different.

  5. Never say never o. We were considering adoption before we had our first child. But i think it is okay to have so many options to choose from.

  6. i really want to have my own kids, kids that came out of my womb, or atleast where a product of my eggs. I wld consider artificial insemination before considering adoption, anyday anytime :|

  7. @Ginger- yeah, the whole octomom drama was too much. In regards to having the options, im not knocking anyone else who chooses it. I just feel like why go through the extra if i can just as well take care of a person that already exists, ya know.

    @NIL- thats exactly what im saying though. If you are meant to have them (which you obviously were) then i think you can/will without the extra stuff. Adoption does kind of scare me just because you don't know what kind of kid you'll end up with. but the same can be said for having your own kids. All you can do is teach them right from wrong and pray for the best.

    @Myne- idk, i think its a pretty tough decision to make if the doctor comes in and says you are carrying 8 fetuses and if you don't reduce you and/or the babies won't survive.

    @morayoJones- idk, i guess its because im pretty ambivalent about having kids that i don't see why its so important for me to physically bear my own children if i really wanted them. But like i said, im mostly against the surrogate/fertility drugs if its me who has the issue. I suppose if me and my husband really REALLY wanted kids and he had the issue that we could try for 1 via in vitro and then adopt if we want more.

    Okeoghene- Like i said to morayo, i am not sold on the idea of having kids so for me, i don't see the necessity in going out of my way to try. I don't knock other people's choices, especially if having your own biological children is important to you. Only judgement call i can make is that i hope people make informed decisions about the matter so you don't end up in the OctoMom/John&Kate kind of situation.

  8. Well,like alot Myne and N.I.L have rightly said,never say never.


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