Friday, September 30, 2011

Random FB Toasting

I've discussed my *ahem* disgust with FB toasters before. I no go send them at all! This morning (well yesterday morning) i was dickin around on facebook and got this random IM from some random person. Since i wasn't doing anything i decided to entertain this fellow. *i should have known better* Anywho the conversation started off with the normal "hey, how are you" nonsense and other pleasantries. Then the guy was like "I think you are beautiful, i love fat girls, your own is so special"

WTF?!? Did this nigga just call me fat? Like forreal. Its too damn early in the morning for this nonsense.

Anyway...moving right along with the conversation. Eventually we get into the discussion of whether or not i've been to Naija... and we all know the answer is a resounding no. So he says: "Jenny, its quite unfair that you've not visited your own country"

First of all, i hate when people call me Jenny. Very few people can say Jenny and not sound like a creeper. And i don't effing know you. Please refer to me as Jennifer unless we are familiar and/or you have been given permission to call me something else.
Next, unfair ke? How so? It is a matter of choice and circumstance. Nothing more, nothing less. Its not that serious, especially considering i don't know you nor will me having been to Naija make me get to know you.
Last, Why does it matter to you sir? I doubt your world is gonna stop rotating if i don't go to Nigeria.

And now we come to the coup de grace- In response to this gentleman's disappointment with my content in staying in the US, i offered up my typical sarcastic reply: "well as soon as you pay for the plane ticket and arrange accommodations for me, i'll be more than happy to visit "my country". Do you know what this fool said?!?

"Is it really that big of an arrangement for you? It is not a big deal for me and I could have done it for you if we were close. or maybe youre just a destitute in America. Anyway, i was born in Moscow and now i live and do business in Nigeria. I am also a graduate of accountancy here in Nigeria and hopefully looking towards being a politician..."

HAYLE NAW! This fool did not just form as if he is a big boy, use style to insult me, and then attempt to continue conversing with me. Jesus please take the wheel!

In closing, i have no idea what this guy was trying to accomplish. If this was his idea of some preliminary toasting, he failed miserably. If he was trying to get deleted from my friends list, he has succeeded.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

What will they think of next

This is the "Snuggie" which im sure plenty of you are familiar with. I used to think this was one of the dumbest inventions known to mankind. I mean really, if you're cold, theres this thing called a blanket. Its worked for me for over 24 years.  But no, they had to take it a step further and invent...
The "Forever Lazy" Basically a snuggie with sleeves and legs. WTF? I don't understand. Why would any self respecting adult wear this nonsense? I swear, if my bf/husband insists on walking around our house in this foolish get-up, im gonna have to insist on a divorce. This ish is not bringing sexy back at all! If you are really that cold, why can't you just wear a normal sweatsuit? What happens when you have to go to the bathroom? This just reminds me of the footie pajamas folks used to wear as kids. Not suitable for adults!

This crap...i blame the Nicki Minaj's, Buffie the Body's and other big booty heffas of the world (like myself *pow*) for this. First of all, this shit is only cute if you are skinny. Trust me, i saw the commercial. The "plus-sized" woman wearing it looked her ass was sitting on her back. Idk, i guess the "pop" was too high up. Anywho...assuming that you are using this too boost your lack of derriere in hopes of catching that hot guys attention, what gonna happen when the pants come off? Its not like this thing is magically going to make an ass appear when it really counts! Similarly i feel i should discuss...
The Chicken Cutlet...
The Water Bra...

and the push-up bra!
All these are, are a pack of lies! Yeah, they make your boobies look better in that shirt/dress/bikini, but again, what happens when the clothes come off and them titties go from sittin up all perky on ya chest to dangling somewhere around your belly button? Not cute at all and downright deceitful if you ask me. Not to mention the potential embarrassment they may cause. I've seen the chicken cutlets fall out of the bikinis and the water bras bursting and causing a pool of liquid to stain your blouse making it look like you lactating...i can't really think of anything embarrassing that can happen with a push-up bra but you get my drift. *sorry if it seems i lack sympathy for the itty-bitty-titty girls have been "big" for well over a decade.*

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

How did I get here?

Before i begin, i gotta say yesterday was one of the craziest days i've had in a long time. Nothing extremely crazy happened, but a whole bunch of small (and not so small but not outta control) calamities just kept happening. Like really, tho? IDK what kind of negative vibes i was putting out for yesterday to have happened. Anywho, yesterday is past so on to my post...

Sometimes i just sit and wonder, how did i even get here. How did we get to this point. What happened to lead to this situation/conclusion. I mean, one day everything was peaches and the next thing you know everything is apples and your left wondering what the did that ish happen? Maybe i should have taken that left turn at Albuquerque (Bugs Bunny Reference)!

Well im there now. I don't want to call it a crossroads even though i secretly know that's what it is because when you're at a crossroads, you have to make a decision, which is something i don't want to do right now. You have to ask questions that you probably don't want to know the answer to. Once you open Pandora's box, there's no closing it. Whats on the table is whats on the table. Can't un-see what you've seen and you can't un-hear what you've heard. Been there, done that, bought the tshirt! So i guess what im doing is just sitting at the intersection and ignoring the sign waiting for a sign to tell me which way to go.

The truth is, even though i don't know how i got to this "point" i do know what i should do. I just gotta grow a pair and actually do it. But its not easy. :(

Tuesday, September 27, 2011


Boys are cheats and liars, 
They're such a big disgrace. 
They will tell you anything to get to second 
baseball, baseball he thinks he's gonna score. 
If you let him go all the way then you are a 
horticulturalist studies flowers, geologist studies rocks. 
The only thing a guy wants from you is a place to put his 
cockroaches, beetles, butterflies and bugs. 
Nothing makes him happier than a giant pair of 
jugglers and acrobats, a dancing bear named Chuck.
All guys really want to do is 
forget it, no such luck.

Source of poem
Sidenote: Hayle naw this nigga Rush Limbaugh did not just say that if Herman Cain is elected president, he'll be the first "authentic" black president. What the actual fuck? Ugh. Effin America. I need to move to mars!
*pardon my french

Monday, September 26, 2011

Crushes, sexy people and shattered illusions

I get crushes entirely too often lol. Real life crushes, tv/movie crushes, e-crushes. I blame it on me being an equal-opportunity kinda girl. I can find something attractive in almost anybody. (ALMOST anybody...lets not get carried away cuz some folks have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.) Whether its the way you look, the way you talk/write, the way you walk with an awkward limp, that one crooked tooth that messed up an otherwise perfect smile...anything really. I have a thing about seeing the beauty in imperfections. Especially teeth (as long as they aren't yellow, missing, or too jacked up). IDK, im weird like that. Anywho, my crushes usually don't stand the test of time though because i am very easily put off. So the less i originally liked about you, the more likely you are to be quickly cast aside. So if im still hanging strong with you after a month or so u must be doing something right

Sexy People and the fine wine syndrome
I hate going on facebook and reconnecting with "old friends" sometimes. The other day i was chatting with this kid i'd known since elementary school. For as long as i've known him, he has been ugly, annoying, and flat out just a pain in the rectum. But i had the opportunity to peep some of his recent photos and DAAAAAAAMN. This fool done went and got sexy on a sista. And its not even just him. Im noticing a trend of the most yucky lookin folks getting sexy after high school. Im callin it the fine wine syndrome- they only get better with age.

Shattered Illusions
On the flipside, im noticing another disturbing trend. Them cats that were fine as hell back in the day done let themselves GO! SMH, so sad. I can't stand seeing ish like that. I feel like if you spent your entire life being sexy, it is your civic duty to remain sexy. How dare you look at hot mess when i was expecting to see an Adonis! Thats just rude.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Harlem Nights

I love the movie Harlem Nights. Even though it is kinda sorta before my time. I was only 2 or 3 when it came out but i have loved it since i was a kid. Obviously, it is not the kind of movie a child should be watching so your guess is as good as mine in regards to how i ever came to see the film. Tons of violence, sex, and profanity to go around. They said the word "fuck" over 130 times in the movie lol

One thing i've never been able to figure out though is if its supposed to be a drama with a little bit of comedy or a comedy with a little bit of drama. Almost everyone in the movie is a comedian and without a doubt half the time when they were supposed to be serious it ended up being a hilarious moment. So i don't really know but all i can say is the movie is a certified classic with a serious cast. Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx, Robin Harris, Arsenio Hall, Thomas Mikal Ford, Della Reese, Lela Rochon, Jasmine Guy, Charlie Murphy, Miguel Nunez, Danny Aiello, Michael Lerner...I can't even imagine how much they spent paying all these folks.

Reason why i wrote this is because it just so happens to be on BET right now and even though i missed half of it, i still decided to sit down and watch it. Below are some of my favorite scenes from the movie. Gotta love youtube! -This is probably single handedly the funniest ish i've ever seen in my life. If i don't remember anything else from this movie, this will ALWAYS be the scene i remember!

Friday, September 23, 2011

Heartbreak Hotel

Jonell Round and Round
All the game that you were spittin, I know that you was trippin
Never thought to see me dippin but I had to get missin
I'm tired of you stressin me, why don't you let it be
Comin 'round testin me, fuckin wit me mentally
don't wanna see your face no more
So long 
Pack your bags wan't you out the door
every time that I play this ruggy
Time and time again it's gonna rain
It's gonna rain it's gonna rain it's gonna rain

Vivian Green Emotional Rollercoaster
I'm on a emotional rollercoaster.
Loving you aint nothing healthy.
Loving you was never good for me.
But I can't get off.

Heather Headley I Wish I Wasn't
And I wish i could go back 
to the day before we met
and skip my regret
I wish i wasn't in love with you
So you couldn't hurt me
It just ain't fair the way you treat me
No you don't deserve me
Wasting my time thinkin bout you when you ain't never gon change
I wish i wasn't in love with you So i wouldn't feel this way

Chrisette Michele Epiphany
So i think im just about over being your girlfriend
im leaving 
im leaving
no more wonderin what you've been doin, where you been sleeping
its over
Im leaving 
Im leaving

*Note: Though i have been here many many times before, i am not here now. My official room at the heartbreak hotel is vacant lol. In other words...I'm Good! #NoWorries

Thursday, September 22, 2011


Its has been a thoroughly effed up week in the world of moral and social justice. Im thoroughly disgusted with the Nigerian government and the United States Judicial System.

Dear victim of the now infamous ABSU rape: I hope that God can heal you mentally and physically. I hope that everyone who is fighting for your cause (and for all the voiceless faceless victims of rape in Nigeria and worldwide) is successful in helping to see that "justice" is carried out against your attackers. I hope that you can find the courage to come forward and help us help you but i understand if you can't. I hope that the people who see fit to rape and abuse others can see the error of their ways before they hurt someone (or someone else) and those that see fit to blame the victim rather than the attacker realize how utterly ridiculous they are being. I pray that Nigeria's political and law officials hearts are touched and for once they do the right thing by their citizens. I hope that they can look past whether or not you and those "men" were ABSU students and see this for the true issue that it is. A vicious, cruel, inhumane, incomprehensible and heinous attack on another living being that is worthy of our attention and action regardless of whether or not she and they were ABSU students!

Dear Troy Davis: Yet another unfortunate example of what it means (to many of us) to be black in America. Yet another unfortunate example of why so many minorities have little to no faith in the justice system. I sincerely hope that your death will not be in vain, that it will not just be another blemish on America's history, conveniently swept under the rug and soon forgotten altogether. I hope that your unfortunate execution will serve as the basis for people to finally rise up and speak out against this kind of injustice. Eye for an eye is NOT justice. It is vengeance. I have no idea whether you were guilty or innocent, but one thing i do know is that no one deserves to be killed, especially when there is #TooMuchDoubt. Nor does anyone deserve to have been treated the way you were treated in your 11th hour. The justice system has failed you. I hope that one day i can raise my children to believe in the effectiveness and fairness of our justice system rather than to cower in fear at the thought of ever being caught up in this foolish system we call justice in America in its current state. I pray that guilty or not, you are at peace and that your legacy brings about a much needed change.

To recap:
An innocent girl, brutally gang raped by 5 men because of an alleged insult. Video footage circulated for over a month (with students citing that they did nothing because they didn't think the footage/rape was "real") before anyone did anything. And even now, not much has been done by the government to find her or her attackers other than to say that the investigation was "over" since neither she nor her attackers are ABSU students (-__-)
Troy Davis, a man who may or may not have shot and killed an off-duty cop is killed by the state of Georgia despite not having any physical evidence, worldwide protest, 7 of the 9 witnesses from the original trial recanting their statements (with some citing force and police coercion in making the statements in the first place), several jurors who admit that they may have made a mistake, and a drunken confession to the murder by the same person who told the police that it was Davis who pulled the trigger. After first, postponing his execution for 4 hours and leaving him strapped to the gurney in the death chamber for the brief period of time while the Supreme Court pretended to look into giving him a stay of execution. (-__-)

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere! -MLK Jr.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Twitter Beef


Twitter is very funny sometimes. Just the other day i watched as two former friends (and probably some other people that i don't follow) were going back and forth with subliminal tweets at each other. I personally thought the whole thing was hilarious and the inner amebor in me wanted to know how they went from being besties to hating each other. But i had work to do so i didn't spend too much time following their argument.

The funniest thing about it to me was that even though throughout the entire argument they didn't mention each other by name, i could tell exactly who and what they were referencing just by the content of the tweet. LOL. And they were really blasting each other too. Putting some serious tales and accusations on the table.!

I'll admit that I've tweeted some subliminals before. Never anything too crazy and never anything at anyone i follow or that follows me. Usually they are just about something thats going on in life that bothering me or annoying me but i don't wanna put the whole matter on the table. But sometimes ppl just frustrate you to no end and instead of going off on an angry tirade and giving yourself a tumor, you just shoot out a very rude tweet about them and then continue on with your day. I doubt i could ever really get into a twitter fight with anyone.

For one thing, im the "cut em off" type. You got one shot at truly pissing me off. We might have that one argument, but after that you need not speak to me or about whatever caused the riff again cuz i have no plans on thinking about it or you from that point on. The whole going back and forth thing over the same topic...i wish i cared enough to do ish like that lol. That's a waste of my time.

Also, if you're gonna spend all that time and energy insulting someone back and forth, you might as well go hard in the paint and call their ass out and say what you gotta say to them mano-a-mano! The hell is the point of insulting Susie and not telling Susie you are insulting her? Even if she does pick up on it, i assure you, you will much better if you just beat that bitch with a bat say it to her face and be done with it.

Either way, i'm just glad i caught that little squabble because my books were boring me at the moment and that provided me with some momentary entertainment lol. But really though...

Can't we all just get along?

I'm conceited, I got a reason

What can i say? Sometimes you just gotta look in the mirror and say "Damn, im fabulous!" Nothing wrong with being a lil conceited sometimes. I like to call it being "self-aware"

Quote of the day: Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are!" -John Wooden

On that note: I am fabulous and I hope you know just how fabulous (or whatever the masculine equivalent is) you are too :)

Happy Hump Day (no pun intended)!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Are you cuffed?

It is that time of year once again. We've passed the official unofficial end of summer (Labor Day), the weather is about to get colder and people are on the hunt. Yes, my dear friends, it is the beginning of cuffing season!

What is cuffing season...glad you asked. Cuffing season, in a nutshell, is the time of year where people (mostly men, but sometimes women too) find themselves on the prowl for their winter boo-thang. The weather is getting chilly, if not down right cold, so why not find somebody to snuggle up with. Nothing worse than having to sleep in a cold, lonely bed.

Cuffing season (if successful) goes down one of two ways- either you re-connect with a former boo (or back pocket girlfriend/boyfriend*) or you find somebody (or multiple somebodies) new. Thats if you are the "cuffer". If you are the "cuffee", you will notice an exponential increase in the amount of random phone calls, texts, IMs, etc you get both from people you haven't heard from since like April and from new people who are "interested in getting to know you". Usually it starts in middle-to-late September, and gets really desperate and pathetic sounding around the beginning November when we start to see a lil snowfall.

Below is a loose adaptation of the cuffing season timeline:

Subsequently, Cuffing Season does have an end. Some argue that it ends with the beginning of the Summer Fling season (mostly because its getting warmer and more and more clothes are coming off making it difficult to keep your eyes and hands to yourself). But I personally think cuffing season is over around Valentine's Day for the obvious reasons.

I think its worth mentioning that there are different degrees of "cuffage" though. You have people who literally only want to smang and more than likely have several chicks (or dudes) in their winter rotation. There are people who just want a cuddle buddy. And you have those who really want to (or think they want to) have a relationship. So be weary of those seeking your company during the winter months! Unless of course you live some place where weather doesn't get cold...then continue on as normal

*A back pocket girlfriend is a chick you keep on the back-burner for 1 of 2 reasons:

  • She's wifey material but you're not done playing the field. So once every couple of months you check in with her to keep her thinking your interested and to make sure she hasn't/doesn't move on to the next
  • She's cool people and you like her company when you are between girlfriends.

Sunday, September 18, 2011


Though there have been significant gains in diversity and equality in a global community increasingly—if albeit, grudgingly—more inclusive of people of African descent, true progress can only be measured when that inclusion is not accompanied by suspicion, investigation, diversion, and inevitable attempts at invalidation.

first world problems

Friday, September 16, 2011

Off to the bank

Concerns are being raised about the lack of regulation of sperm donors in the United States, after one anonymous man was found to have fathered 150 children under the current system.
The New York Times reports on the case of Cynthia Daily, who used a sperm donor to conceive a child seven years ago.
Ms. Daily searched a Web-based registry for other children fathered by the same donor and helped to create an online group to track them. Over the years, she watched the number of children in her son's group grow... Today there are 150 children.
Such profligate procreation can lead to problems for the children born of donors. Children who were born from the same sperm donor could unknowingly become involved in an incestous relationship with someone that they did not know was a half-sibling.
CBS News' Health Pop reports that the risk of incest is not the only problem:
The revelations also raise fears that children from the same donor could share disease-causing genes that can spread through the population.
While many European countries have rules in place that limits the number of children a single donor can father, no such rules exist in the United States. Business Insider quotes Debora L. Spar, president of Barnard College:
"We have more rules that go into place when you buy a used car than when you buy sperm."
Jezebel says that the motivation behind allowing donors to father so many children comes down to profit, as sperm banks can make a lot of money selling the sperm of an attractive donor to many women.
The International Business Times sums it up by saying:
The issue seems to be one of perceived quality, not quantity. In sperm, as in life, some specimens are simply more attractive than others.

Im sad that it took until 2011 for people to realize that sperm banks aren't exactly the greatest idea in the world, especially if there is no strict regulation. 1 man has 150 children because he decided to spank his monkey for a living (ok, idk if he really does it for a living or not lol). Thats pure insanity. Even at the age of like 10 when i barely knew left from right about making babies, i knew that there was something stupid about this whole sperm bank idea. I remember asking someone (not sure who) about a situation just like this: what if two people come from the same donor and end up marrying each other and having mutant babies?!? What happens if your offspring grow up and decide to marry? What if they don't marry but these meet at a club or something and decide to just bang each other? And its not even just half-siblings but aunts uncles cousins nieces nephews...the whole sha-bang! By not knowing your father, that's an entire half of your family that you could unknowingly be having relations and relationships with. Ugh. the whole thing is just...i don't even know what to say.

 Similarly this is why i don't understand why men are so freaking reckless, going about making babies all over the place that they don't acknowledge or take care of. I remember reading the story a couple of years back about a 29 year old man who had 21 kids with like 11+ different women. And this was just on his own from laying up with this girl and that girl, doesn't even involve a sperm bank. While i feel bad for the children involved, i can't help but look at the women who fooled around with that dude. Ok baby mama number 1 and 2 maybe i can have some sympathy for. But once you found out the dude was on baby number 3 with a different chick that he knocked up and didn't marry, you should've turned and walked the other way, talk less of being baby mama number 10+ even worse is that several of these women have multiple children by him. SMDH. I really feel bad for the kids because even though he's trying to help take care of them, its impossible. From what i remember he works a minimum wage job and even when they garnish his wages, there are still some of those kids that are literally getting a dollar each month, not to mention that some of them probably don't get anything at all. SMH

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Deal Breakers inspired by SATC

I don't ever watch Sex and the City. But somehow i ended up watching this episode tonight after i woke up from a much needed nap and i couldn't help but blog about this. The entire episode revolved around deal breakers. For one person it was smoking, for someone else it was race, and for her up there (Charlotte i believe- i always mix them up) it was a bad kisser.

I love kissing. Its probably one of my favorite things in the world to do lol. And i don't mean to toot my own horn, but i'm an absolutely fabulous kisser (toot toot). So for me, being a bad kisser is a deal breaker. I know to some people that may seem silly, that you'd be willing to turn down the man of your dreams because he's awful at kissing but what can i tell you. Kissing is such a monumental part of life, love, intimacy...i can't imagine being happy without the level of intimacy that kissing brings. I can tell you, while it wasn't the deciding factor, it definitely played a huge role in the end of a previous relationship.

People with funky breath, yuck mouth, too much spit swapping, licking/nibbling all over the face, sticking your tongue out as soon as you go in for the first kiss...all are just so horrible!

I was gonna stop there but as i was blogging another episode of SATC came on and they discussed another thing that's a deal breaker for me:

Yes, dirty talk. Not all dirty talk...but that dirty talk that is just too dirty. Now the clip above was just to introduce the topic- though both my ovaries would instantly dry up if my hubby said he wanted to piss on my face, fart in my mouth and s#*t on the walls (o_0). That would definitely be grounds for divorce, Mr. McNasty!

Anyway, on SATC, Charlotte again is my main focus. She's sleeping with some dude and whenever he's about to bust a nut climax, he yells out "you stupid bitch, you nasty whore" (and that's the edited version lol).


Say what now? I could never. How and why would anyone find that sexy? That's just....blech. Instant turn off and grounds for a major ass-whooping if you ask me. When she brought it to his attention that he was saying it, he was stunned. I suppose it was supposed to be one of those caught in the moment, Freudian slip kinda things. But damn, is that what you really think or is that just the kinda thing that turns you on? Cuz either way, there's some serious cause for discussion.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

So Frustrating

Man i had the most awesome, anger and frustration laced post about this whole gay vs straight bullshit ripping and rearing to go. But i already know no matter what anyone says or does people are still going to think, believe and accept what they want. So i didn't feel like going through the tortures of the damned trying to polish up that post and make it coherent (when i write out of anger stuff doesn't make sense all the way). But since this is MY BLOG, im gonna SPEAK MY PIECE and you are more than welcome to agree, disagree, run off in a huff, never read my blog again, shoot me a loving/hateful email, cuss me out on twitter, say a prayer for me...whatever you feel is the appropriate response. I'll still love u anyway :)

Being gay is NOT an abomination. Leviticus 18:22, 20:13, and some other scriptures i'm sure, tell us that if a man lies with another man as he lies with a woman, both have committed an abomination...(i hope ya'll know the rest). In other words, the sin is in the sex, not in being attracted to someone of the same sex (which is the fundamental definition of what it means to be homosexual)! Therefore, being gay =/= sin.

Being gay is not a choice, mental illness, hormonal imbalance or any other baseless nonsensical rambling people try to attach to it. Because who in their right mind would chose to be gay when they know it would pretty much be a life of hate a persecution with no ends to justify the means?!? What is a choice is whether or not you chose to act on it. Again, that why the sin is in the sex! Aside from the biblical implication that heterosexual is what we are supposed to be if for no other reason than to go forth and multiply (which you can still do if you are gay by the way), i'd love to know how many people have examined exactly why they like the opposite sex? Was that a choice too? To date, the only people i've ever heard of that chose to be gay are women that were abused and can no longer handle dealing with men.

Someone else's sexual preference is none of your damn business!* For goodness sake, this is probably THE MOST annoying part of this who pointless conversation. Why do you care if joe is over there blowing tim? Why do you care if tina is lickin lisa? What business is it of yours? Is what joe and tim do in their bedroom affecting you in any way? Its fine for you to not believe in, practice, or advocate homosexuality. We are all welcome to our own opinions and beliefs. But i still don't see why this is such a heated debate. We don't get nearly as riled when we talk about pre-marital sex, disrespecting our parents, or telling lies. Go figure!

*im willing to concede that since someone else's bedroom activities are of no concern to me, that they need to keep it in their bedroom. PDA isn't cute on anyone- gay, straight, or otherwise.

This went waaaaaaay longer than i intended. I chalk it up to be a proponent of social justice! For now, back to my academics (more realistically speaking a nap and then my academics since its after 5am and i havent been to sleep yet) after which i'll be back with a less venomous post.

**How ironic that the first time i turn on my tv all day and its an episode about gay rights

Monday, September 12, 2011

Musical Reminiscing: Reggae Tunes From Yesteryear

This past weekend i've been on a reggae rampage! Reggae has been playing in my head phones nonstop. I started with dancehall and eventually regressed back to reggae of the 90s. Just some stuff that reminded me of my childhood...back in the days when my biggest worries were not having enough change for the ice cream man or being able to ride in my friends barbie jeep (ok after age 8 those weren't my biggest worries anymore, but you know what i mean lol). Back when being the youngest meant being the family entertainment during visits and holidays. Being egged on to do the "latest dances" which included of course the butterfly, the pepperseed, the tik tok and the bogle (i was a beast at that back in the day man, I definitely could get all the way down to the floor and effortlessly bogle my way back up. If i tried that today i'd probably wind up in the hospital).
Sigh, i was definitely a child raised on reggae. I went through a significant part of my life with most people believing i was a yardi (jamaican) because i was always so into reggae and dancehall, because i danced like there was no tomorrow (actual dancing, not just whining my hips- though i was a pro at that too especially as i got older *wink* lol) and could understand patois with little trouble.

So here's some of my faves from when i was a kid (late 80s-mid 90s)

Sean Paul- infiltrate, deport dem, haffi get di gyal yah (hot gal today)
Mr. Vegas- heads high
Red Rat- tight up skirt
Lil Vicious- freaks, nika
Shabba Ranks- ting a ling, twice my age, champion lover
Terror Fabulous- action
Mad Cobra- flex
Chaka Demus & Pliers- bam bam, murder she wrote
Tenor Saw/Buju Banton- ring the alarm
Buju Banton- batty rider
Beenie Man- Romie, who am i
Junior Reid- One Blood
Sister Nancy- Bam Bam
Dawn Penn- You don't love me (No No No)
Lady Saw- Sycamore Tree, Rich Girl

So many more songs i could put up here, especially from my teens and 20s, but it would literally take days to do so. But if you're ever in need of some good reggae, u know who to holla at lol.

Happy Monday everyone :)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

9/11: Never Forget

I can't believe its been 10 years already. The day is still so fresh in my mind and im sure the minds of many others, especially my fellow New Yorkers. I remember it beginning as such a ho-hum day. Nothing out of the ordinary. I got up and went to school. It was the 2nd week of classes during my freshman year of high school. I was in my 2nd period class when the first plane hit. IDK how word spread so quickly. All i remember was hearing a lot of murmuring in the halls and a lot of confusion. I just brushed it off thinking it was the normal hustle and bustle of the hallways with kids being late or skipping class or roaming the hallway. By the time i got to my 3rd period class, there was more murmuring about a plane crashing into the twin towers. We still weren't positive about what was happening and all i could think was what kind of stupid pilot could crash into a building.

But then we realized, this was no accident. And the rest of the day was a blur of confusion, sadness, and chaos. Every classroom had the radio, a tv, or the internet going trying to figure out what was happening. I lived 30 miles away and even from that distance we could see the smoke from the burning towers in the distance. The whole thing was like a nightmare.

Perhaps the saddest thing of that day (aside from the obvious) that i will always remember was hearing our principal make the announcement for all of those who were not sure if there parents were going to make it home that night to stay after school and wait in the auditorium until they knew what was happening. Then seeing all those kids that were shuffling into the auditorium to wait and see. Heartbreaking doesn't even begin to describe it.

My prayers go out to the 3000+ victims that lost their lives that day in the towers, at the pentagon, in the planes, and the men and women that bravely went in trying to save people from the buildings. My prayers go out to the people who lost family and friends. And i thank God for the lives of those that survived including 3 of my family members:
My aunty who worked adjacent to world trade center plaza and usually cut through the lobby of the tower to get to her office...she was late to work that day.
My 2 cousins that worked in the pentagon.

We Will NEVER Forget!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Im gettin old

Today is my little brother's 16th birthday. Where the hell has the time gone? I remember those days when I was the baby...that was over 16 years ago. What the heck man. I remember when my parents brought his lil pale self home from the hospital (my mom didn't even think he was hers he was so white lol). It definitely was an adjustment for me but eventually i got over not being the baby anymore. Afterall, i was still the "baby girl". Now this lil brat is 16. I don't even know what to do with myself. I feel like so old right now lol.
So Happy Birthday to my one and only lil brother :)

Baby Tyler
Us a few weeks ago

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

This is a Public Service Announcement

I had a completely other post i was writing and then it kinda segued into sexual education so i decided to delete the first half and just proceed with the education part lol. The first part was making me mad all over again anywayz.

So welcome to Sex Ed. 101 with your professor LadyNgo. If i can have everyone's attention for a brief moment, I just want to review a few things as i've noticed that some people, based off of twitter, fb, blogging, and personal conversations, have no idea how to protect themselves. And yes, this includes grown folks unfortunately. So if you'll please lend me your eyes and ears, we'll begin today's lecture. The topic is Safe Sex is the Best Sex

Myth #1: Wearing 2 condoms is safer than wearing 1.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, don't do it. The friction created when having relations with 2 condoms on will lead to one or (likely) both of them tearing. Condoms, though only used properly 2% of the time, are still effective enough on there own and do no warrant using you 2 at a time. Please feel free to slap the $#!+ out of whomever told you to "make sure you're strapped twice" If you are really that paranoid about getting knocked up, grab some spermicide (i can't help you when it comes to avoiding a disease)

Myth #2: I don't need to use a condom because im on birth control
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, don't do it. BC only protects you against pregnancy, not STDs. Even if you and your bf/hubby/whomever have been tested, that doesn't mean you should feel free to do whatever. Im here to tell you to take your rose-tinted glasses off and see the world for what it is. Just because your partner says that they are only sleeping with you, doesn't make it true. Trusting your partner will not keep you from catching their diseases. Not to mention that there are some diseases that lay dormant in your system, there is no test for HPV in men (not one that's FDA approved at least), and just because Bobby tested negative on monday doesn't mean that he couldn't have gone out and caught something on tuesday. Then lets add to that that even if STDs are not your problem, BC is not 100% effective either. Drug interactions, forgetting to take a pill (if thats your method of choice), and other complications can get in your way.

Myth #3: The Pull-out Method Works
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, don't do it! This affords you 0 protection against STDs. Pre-seminal fluid often contains sperm. And even if it doesn't, what guarantee do you have that in the heat of the moment your partner will think to or even remember to pull out??? Not to mention all those dudes that just don't give a damn and will keep pushing to the very end anyway. Ladies (and gentlemen too really), it is not in your best interest to subscribe to this form of "birth control"

Myth #4: The Rhythm Method Works
This is not the damn 50s. Im mad people even know what the rhythm method is these days. But for the benefit of you all in the class that do use it, please stop right now and go grab a damn condom. I don't even feel like explaining this one. Please consult your biology teacher or your gynecologist. Suffice it to say, even "science" is not an exact science...mother nature can and will trip you up!

Myth #5: The more people you sleep with, the more like you are to catch a disease
Statistically speaking, yes. But practically speaking, no. You can only catch a disease from someone else who has a disease! That means you can sleep with only 1 person in your entire life and catch damn near every STD in the book. Likewise, you can sleep with 50 people in your lifetime* and never catch a thing. It's all about the precautions you take. USE PROTECTION! Get tested regularly, know your status. Demand that your partner get tested as well. Its one thing to know that you are STD free. But if you wanna keep it that way, you need to make sure your partner is STD free as well. You can't tell just from looking. (Man if i had a dollar for every time i heard "i can't tell you don't got nothing, you look clean", i'd have enough money to pay back these student loans! I assure you, if you utter these words to me, i will promptly put back on whatever clothes that may have already come off and head for the nearest exit!)

Myth #6: If i suggest we get tested, people will think I have a disease
Yes, and when you catch a disease (or get pregnant) those same people will still be talking ish about you. LET PEOPLE TALK. They are not the ones that will have to deal with the consequences, you are. If you want to play grown up and do grown up things, then you need to handle them in a grown-up way. That includes being responsible for yourself. I know for some, these are incredibly uncomfortable conversations to have but i'm sure you'd rather take the steps to prevent it then having to explain your sores, blisters, and failing health to your future partner(s). If you aren't mature enough to have these kinds of conversations then you're not mature enough to be having sex! And if its your partner that's giving you are hard time about getting tested...i sincerely hope that the little light bulb came on (unless NEPA/PHCN is involved- then i suggest you have a back up generator) and you take your business and your goodies elsewhere.

Dear students, thank you for your attention and i want to close out with this: The only way to be 100% safe is to abstain. But if that ain't your cup of tea, it is up to you to PROTECT YOURSELF! Arm yourself with the knowledge you need to make safe and sound decisions. If you don't look out for yourself, no one else will!

Debates and opinions are always welcome but there will be no office hours or "extra help" to meet and discuss this matter! lol

*I do not advise anyone to take up the challenge of sleeping with 50 people to prove or disprove the notion that you can sleep with as many people as you want without catching an STD!

Friday, September 2, 2011

I know they say 'never say never' but...

If i can't have a child, i will adopt or I just won't have children (im not sold on the idea anyway). I will not pay a surrogate, I will not do in vitro*, i will not take fertility drugs. This is something i stand strong on. I don't currently have any reproductive issues that I know of but I hope that if in the future i do, that whomever i marry understands and respects my stance.

I feel like if God wanted me to have a child, i'd have one. I know too many people who have miracle babies all the time to believe that I should take extreme measures just to say I have a baby. There are plenty of children in adoption centers, foster care, etc that need a good home for me to take all these extra unnecessary steps to make a baby of my own.

The motivation behind this post was an article i skimmed the other day talking about twin reduction. I can't even imagine having to be in a situation where i have to make a decision like that let alone actually going through with it. This is why i am so against fertility drugs specifically.

When you take these drugs, your chance of having multiple births sky-rockets! Basically what happens is these drugs cause the woman to release a gaggle of eggs in hopes that one will be fertilized, but what most often happens is a whole bunch of them end up fertilized. When that happens, it puts the babies and the mother's health in serious risk and selective reduction is advised.

Why would i even put myself in that kind of position? It just seems extremely selfish if you ask me. Jon & Kate (+8) used fertility drugs to conceive the first set of twins and then went back and decided to do it again and ended up with 6 more kids because they decided that they weren't going to abort any of the fetuses. The Octomom did in vitro twice and ended up with (probably on purpose to milk the system) 14 kids.

*The only instance where i feel like i would consider doing in vitro is if i marry another carrier so we can at least make the attempt to have children that don't have sickle cell or carry the trait. (Thanks for reminding me of that Ginger lol)