Monday, August 22, 2011

Friends with Benefits

There are a few things that i feel most people just don't understand about being friends with benefits. They are:

1: The shit doesn't work. Don't deceive yourself.  Its not even that one person will catch feelings (believe you me, it's not always the chick- if only u knew how many stalkers i got lol). Its that it's illogical. If you are truly on the friendly, but you are also smashing, that is a damn relationship! It may not be an exclusive relationship, but its a relationship none the less. We all know the quote "What does it profit a man to gain the world but lose his soul"...well think about this: What does it profit you to gain a temporary cut-buddy but lose a great friendship? Right, just don't do it. Unless of course that person was just someone you were "friends" with because you were trying to get the beats anyway...then go for it!

2: Where are the boundaries? If you guys are really friends, then how do you approach just wanting a friendly hang-out vs a cut session? Because of all the FWB-gone-awry stories i've heard, the minute you guys start "hanging out" and doing all the "friendly" things you probably were doing before you decided to ruin your life become FWB, the other person is gonna start thinking you are catching feelings. And maybe you are...

3: FWB has an expiration date on it (one that is much sooner than most people like to think). It cannot go one forever, regardless of whether or not you both stay single for the rest of your lives. If you want it to go on forever then you might as well go pick out a ring and a venue for the wedding.

4. Once you go there, there's really no turning back: Especially if one (or both) of you catch feelings. IDK, i don't think I could look at a person the same after they've "explored me like the internet" (Lil Kim quote)! Seems like it would be awkward, no?

5. My brain hurts so i can't remember what the 5th reason was i was thinking of. Blame it on an awful weekend and today being the 1st day of classes (1 more year to go and thats it. Im already swimming in a sea of student loan debt as it is. A doctorate is not in my future)

ETA: The only way FWB really works is if you were never really "friends" to begin with. Hi-and-bye friends and I'll-chill-with-you-every-once-in-a-blue-moon friends can navigate the FWB terrain much better than two true friends that hang out on the regular, care about each others feelings and know all the nitty-gritty of each others lives.

10 comments:

  1. FWB could work.... its often times tricky, but it does work. the point about it having an expiration date is true to all relationships.. every relationship can never remain the same, with all things in life, it expires, from regular relationship to marriages.

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  2. FWB...lol The thing get as e be sha. Lots of scenarios going through my mind.lol. Nice blog. Stop my my place sometime for Amebor tori.

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  3. Perhaps losing the 'friendship' is a price such people are willing to pay?

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  4. FWB can only lead to heartache.
    It might all start well BUT emotions are not to be toyed with.........:(

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  5. I kinda agree with you,FWB doesn't mostly work,but it sure works some few times.

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  6. i've never tried it so i wont know. Your points sure sound good though lol

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  7. may the lord have mercy on all of you.

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  8. FWB seems to be the buzz word now. two movies, one TV show and more and more people considering or doing it. Hmm...

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  9. Sigh...
    been there, done that, paid the price(na me go catch feelings)...never again

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  10. Hmmm... Still LOling at "explored me like the internet"

    Thanks for dropping by my blog.

    - LDP

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