Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I don't wanna go to the movies!

Dinner and a movie is the stereotypical "perfect" first date. Why do people feel that way? To me, dinner and a movie is probably the worst (decent) first date you can go on.

Lets assume that since its you're first date you two don't know each other very well. Let us also assume that chivalry has not gone the way of old yeller and the man (whom i also assume arranged the date) is paying.

Now you pick up your lady friend and bring her to at least a halfway decent restaurant. Lets say Red Lobster- because lets face it, we all love those cheddar bay biscuits lol. Your meals run you about $60 (a lil more if you plan on getting your sip on). You make some light, getting to know you chit-chat while you eat, pay for your meal (and tip your server) then head to the movies.

You pay for 2 full price adult tickets, which i'll guesstimate ran you another $20. You don't wanna appear cheap so you buy some movie snacks...another $10. As you find your seat and the lights dim, you are kindly reminded that you are in a movie theater so shut the hell up & turn ur damn phone off.

2 hours later, the lights come back on, you take your date home, thank her for a lovely evening and go on about your merry little way.

What the hell did you accomplish other than spending a good $100 (not including gas money and the dough you might have spent making yourself and your car look presentable for the evening) to make idle chit chat over dinner and have a hot woman sit silently next to you in a dark crowded movie theater. She might not even like you. We're in a many people are gonna turn down a free meal?

The REAL perfect first date is one where you can maximize the amount of time you spend getting to know one another, not how much money you can waste.

And creativity is awesome. Dinner and a movie is soooooo played out :)

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


I should be reading my books but here I am...blogging. Anywayz:

This Oliver Twist competition is serious o! I just have a question...why are so many ppl doing this thing half naked? I understand the girls because...well let me not even get started on that issue. But the guys...i've seen so many of these dudes their boxers. I feel like their needs to be a no homo flashing across the screen. And this one vid in particular. I haven't been able to get past the first 45 seconds because i feel so...violated. The whole thing all u see are bouncing dicks all over the screen. Like really though, if nothing else, you're definitely not gonna win the competition. And the dudes look underage so im not trying to have ppl think im lookin at some kiddie porn or something.

Am I the only one that loves this new version of Looney Tunes?!? I thought i was gonna hate it but its freakin hilarious.

I know i said before that i had an obsession with high heel shoes. But i REALLY have an obsession with underwear lol. I got enough panties (i hate that word by the way) to last like 3 months without having to do laundry. Its crazy. There once was a point in my life where i couldn't walk past Victoria's Secret without going in and buying something. But im getting better now.

The worst way to miss someone is when they are sitting right beside you...

I hate those save the animals commercials. Of course im against animal cruelty but my goodness, if i had some extra money to throw around best believe its gonna go to helping another suffering human being. Shit, it costs $1 a day to save a dog, but only 10cents a day to save a child. If nothing else, saving a child has a greater fiscal return for my investment.

Somebody around here owes me a "sexy dude" to feed me some strawberries. You know who you are!!!

I was reading a post over at "One Foot In The Loony Bin" and it was about bird sex. And i thought to myself: "wtf, birds have sex?" So i did a google search (gotta love google) and i came across a youtube vid. Oh the horrors that mine eyes have seen!!! Bird sex turned into fish sex, which turned into kangaroo sex, which then turned into turtle sex. The turtle sex vid was by far the most traumatizing lol. You can see it here if you dare.

Ok, back to schoolwork i go!

Monday, August 29, 2011

You can't help who you love

"You can't help who you love" because "The heart wants what the heart wants"
Its true and i don't care what anyone says. You can't help who you fall in love with. I feel like i can speak for every chick thats ever been in love with someone who was a jerk/douchebag/asshole, ugly, broke, dumb, lame, etc. Trust, if i could help who it was that i fell in love with I'd only be in love with beautiful, intelligent, successful, funny, mature, honest, God-fearing men! 

"Love is a choice"
Absolutely not. Completely false. Not buying it! Love is not a choice. Who on earth chooses to love someone? Thats not really love in my opinion. Thats settling, routine, comfort, familiarity, etc. Not love. 
Love, and how strong it is, is the catalyst that sparks the choices we make (or at least it should). Whether you're going to be faithful or cheat, whether your gonna be sweet or an abuser, whether you're going to be romantic or a bore, whether you're going to be helpful or a hinderance...those are choices. 
You can also choose who you allow yourself to get to know, which might lead to you loving them. But actually choosing to love...nah.

"Love is many things. Its varied. But one thing it is not, and can never be, is unsure" -Maya Angelou (Madea's Family Reunion, 2006)
I don't think i've ever been unsure about whether or not i actually loved someone. I've been unsure about whether or not i should be with that person. I've been unsure about whether or not things would work out. And i've been unsure about whether or not they loved me. But i've never been unsure of my love. 

So Beyonce is finally knocked up?!? Well thank goodness, now that ho can go sit her ass down somewhere. In case u can't tell, im not a Beyonce fan lol. I was once upon a time but she, like most other musicians these days, is just too over the top for me. And she just has this aura of fakeness. And to be quite frank, im tired of seeing her. She has over-saturated the market!

And what the gah'damn hell was Nicki Minaj's goofy ass wearing at the VMAs?!? That whole getting dressed like your blind in one eye and can't see out the other was a cute gimmick in the beginning but its time to rely on your talent and hang the rest of the ish up #flatscreen

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Zouk La Sé Sèl Médikaman Nou Ni

Indeed, indeed...Im sitting here listening to some selections from my kompa/zouk/zouk love collections and i have the overwhelming urge to just get up and dance. Of course i have no partner (and its 3 in the damn morning) so its a little pointless. But one of these days im gonna have to reconnect with my Zoes cuz i'd really love nothing more than to sit around eating diri ak djon djon, pikliz (well not really, i dont really do vegetables), banan peze, and griot (or tassot- either one works for me), then follow it with a night of dancing to Kompa and Zouk Love.

Sidenote: Zouk love is quite possible the sexiest music/dance on the planet. If you can dance to it, i will be yours forever...seriously.
Some examples of the dance for those that are unfamiliar:

Doesn't it just seem like they have carnal knowledge of each other lol

Friday, August 26, 2011

No sex in the champagne room!

What is up with these Naija "celebs" suddenly announcing that they haven't had sex in x-number of months/years??? First Goldie, then Modupe Ozolua! Like really, who believes you cares? Then they will be complaining of all the amebors thats are in their business. Honestly, are they giving out medals or something for this? Cuz i haven't smushed in 2011 either, so where's my prize?!?

Happy Friday Folks!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

How to Love (Part ii)

I hadn't planned on blogging for another couple of days but i felt compelled to share with you all that i just spent the last 5 minutes crying my little heart out at this video:

If i didn't already love Wayne before (and you know i did lol), i definitely do now.

OK, the original video got taken down but this one should work..for now. If all else fails, google is your friend. Im sure you'll find it lol. Its definitely worth watching!

Monday, August 22, 2011

Friends with Benefits

There are a few things that i feel most people just don't understand about being friends with benefits. They are:

1: The shit doesn't work. Don't deceive yourself.  Its not even that one person will catch feelings (believe you me, it's not always the chick- if only u knew how many stalkers i got lol). Its that it's illogical. If you are truly on the friendly, but you are also smashing, that is a damn relationship! It may not be an exclusive relationship, but its a relationship none the less. We all know the quote "What does it profit a man to gain the world but lose his soul"...well think about this: What does it profit you to gain a temporary cut-buddy but lose a great friendship? Right, just don't do it. Unless of course that person was just someone you were "friends" with because you were trying to get the beats anyway...then go for it!

2: Where are the boundaries? If you guys are really friends, then how do you approach just wanting a friendly hang-out vs a cut session? Because of all the FWB-gone-awry stories i've heard, the minute you guys start "hanging out" and doing all the "friendly" things you probably were doing before you decided to ruin your life become FWB, the other person is gonna start thinking you are catching feelings. And maybe you are...

3: FWB has an expiration date on it (one that is much sooner than most people like to think). It cannot go one forever, regardless of whether or not you both stay single for the rest of your lives. If you want it to go on forever then you might as well go pick out a ring and a venue for the wedding.

4. Once you go there, there's really no turning back: Especially if one (or both) of you catch feelings. IDK, i don't think I could look at a person the same after they've "explored me like the internet" (Lil Kim quote)! Seems like it would be awkward, no?

5. My brain hurts so i can't remember what the 5th reason was i was thinking of. Blame it on an awful weekend and today being the 1st day of classes (1 more year to go and thats it. Im already swimming in a sea of student loan debt as it is. A doctorate is not in my future)

ETA: The only way FWB really works is if you were never really "friends" to begin with. Hi-and-bye friends and I'll-chill-with-you-every-once-in-a-blue-moon friends can navigate the FWB terrain much better than two true friends that hang out on the regular, care about each others feelings and know all the nitty-gritty of each others lives.

Friday, August 19, 2011

That didn't go as planned

Sorry folks, this was supposed to be a completely different kind of post from what it ended up being lol. But once i started watching Boondocks, my desire to laugh outweighed my desire to attempt to enlighten. So here are just some funny, NSFW, clips from the show.  For the benefit of those who are unfamiliar with the pure sexyness and genius that is Aaron McGruder and The Boondocks, basically everything you will see is satirical in nature and is not meant to be a reflection of how the average, learned African American acts, thinks, or sees as acceptable thought/behavior. And then some of it is just downright silly and you may or may not see the humor if you haven't watched the entire episode.
Enjoy (Happy Friday)

MLK Speech

Tha Ram | Myspace Video

^^^ok maybe that one was a little enlightening.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Part 2: Dating your ex's friend

So if you missed part 1, feel free to check it out here. Today we will tackle dating your ex's friend.

My opinion on dating your ex's friend: That ain't none of my damn business. That's your friend, not mine!

But that doesn't mean you are free and in the clear either. Let me share my story with you:

Me and Ex were dating for a brief period of time. It was one of those, whirlwind romances where the whole thing happened way too fast so the breakup was epic. Not that many people knew we had been together- most people found out shortly after we called it quits- which only made the healing process longer and harder (no pun intended). 6 months or so later, i met another guy and we started a relationship. A month or so in, i found out very unceremoniously that this dude was friends with Ex and a bunch of mutual friends that me and my ex shared. How did i find this of the mutual friends came over while New Boo was cooking me dinner and snitched to Ex about seeing me at New Boo's house. The next morning i awoke to a very nasty text message from Ex asking why i was f*#^ing his friend. (o_O). I replied that first and foremost i was not f*#^ing anyone, i was in a new relationship. 2nd, i had no idea until the mutual friend showed up the night before that they even knew each other let alone were friends. Not only that but i even gave Ex the option to speak now or forever hold his piece if he objected since that was his friend and all (which i didn't have to do)! He said he was cool. And for the next 6 months or so i got the stank-eye and the silent treatment. Funny thing about all of this, Ex was busy cursing my name when it was HIS FRIEND that not only knew that me and Ex had a history together, but didn't give an eff one way or the other. I believe we call that a man law violation!
Anywho, eventually New Boo became old news. Gradually me and Ex started talking again. But not before i let him know how big of a douche he had been about the whole thing.

So when dating a ex's friend i have two sets of warnings:
For the womenfolk- be sure of the friends intentions. I have seen far too many chicks be passed around dude's friendship circles under the guise of being in a relationship. Trust, there are some men that will throw you completely under the bus to save face in front of their homeboys.

For the gentlemen- know your ex! If that chick is a psycho, maybe you wanna stay away from her friends. The last thing you want is for her to go all femme fatale a la Lynn Whittfield from a Thin Line on your ass!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Dating your friend's ex

There's a lot that goes into making the decision to date your friend's ex or your ex's friend. Loyalty is usually the biggest concern. Followed by pride and some other feelings and emotions.

Is it ever really ok to date a friend's ex? Would you be ok with your friend dating your ex?  I know for me, i've always said that i could never date someone that i know was with one of my friends. Its just weird and goes against "girl code" (and im sure its a man-law violation as well). And there are definitely some people from my past that despite being over them, i'd have a fit if one of my friends/associates decided to hook up with them.

Are there special circumstances that would make it easier or more difficult to date a friend's ex? I think there are. Yeah i used to say that i could never date someone my friend dated. But honestly, there are certain circumstances that can play a role. For example, if i knew that they had been a couple at some point but it happened before i knew them (thus i wasn't there to see it) i think i'd be able to look past it. Kind of an "out of sight, out of mind" thing. Pics or it didn't happen! Also, if they weren't serious, i.e. were having a fling or just smashing, i think i'd be a little more open to the idea. And of course, how close of friends me and the person is makes a pretty sizeable difference.

Can you handle the backlash of dating someone that previously dated your friend? I think this is what most people who get themselves into these situations have the most trouble dealing with. Now if the two people had a lowkey relationship and most people didn't associate them together, it makes it a lot easier for the friend to get with the ex. But when the relationship is public and people by default associate Susie with Bob, there's gonna be a lot of trash talk (whether they be whispers and side-eyes or full out questioning) when they start seeing Susie with Bob's best friend Joe! Also, If you are really going to enter into a relationship with your friends ex, theres the risk that you may lose your friend (and any other friends that were part of you're clique) even if they said they didn't mind you dating their ex.

What things do you need to take into consideration when you get in a situation like this? I think the first think you need to think about is whether or not the relationship is worth losing your friendship over. Even if you end up getting married, having a family and living a long blessed life together with this person, are u going to be bitter about losing that friendship? The next thing is, is this even gonna be a relationship? If you are just sexually attracted to the person, is it really worth all the headache to toot it and boot it? And lastly, even if you know this person is one you want to build a long lasting relationship and possibly sacrifice the friendship over, can you deal with all the gossip and rumors and judgement?

What say you folks? Have you ever considered dating a friend's ex? Would you let a friend's objections stand in the way of you and what you perceive to be true love?

Coming Tomorrow: Dating your ex's friend: The other side of the coin

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

my weekend in Tampa

Seriously, i might as well change my name to The Weekend Warrior. I always seem to find myself on the move during the weekend.

Anyhow, i spent the past weekend in Tampa. I hadn't planned on it originally. One of my Soror's (my Dean specifically for those who are hip to Greek-lingo) had her baby shower on saturday afternoon. At first i was just going to ride out in the morning and then ride back out that same day. But its a 2+ hour drive, and people were talking about going out and blah blah blah so I decided to make a weekend of it.

Came out and chilled with my bestie until some ungodly hour. IDK what it is about us, but we can talk for hours and not get tired. I met up with her around like 4 or 5 and didn't drop her back off at her house until like 5am. Crazy!

Because i didn't get back to my hotel room until 6am, i woke up with literally just enough time to take a hoe bath, get dressed and rush to the baby shower. But of course, being a bunch of minorities, when i got there, the place wasn't even decorated yet. So instead of being 2pm-4pm, it ended up being like 4pm-7pm. But we had a lot of fun (as i always do when hanging out with my Sorors).
Me and my Sorors at the baby shower
Afterward, a bunch of us decided to go out...and what a night we had. First we did a little pre-partying. I've never truly understood the concept of prepartying. I mean, i understand getting a bottle instead of paying for (or hoping some man will pay for) drinks by the cup but really, i'd much rather not get in the car with someone who's even slightly intoxicated. At least let me have a fun night before you put my life at risk. But i digress. Sad thing is mofo's were even late to preparty. I swear, minorities and their damn CPT!

IDK how many of you are familiar with Tampa, but we went down to Channelside. Picked up some drinks in Wet Willy's and then headed to Splittsville and drank some more. The music was just awful and there wasn't even any eye candy so we tried to get on the trolley to go to Ybor but the trolley was about to stop running and had we caught it, we'd be stranded in Ybor which isn't cute at all. So after some drunken yelling and stumbling, we went back to Channelside and fumbled around for a lil while. Ran into some other Greeks we knew from our undergrad days. Then finally decided to just go home (which eventually turned into getting breakfast) since it was almost time for let-out anyway.

While we were all making our way back to our cars, me and my car-mates saw the craziest fight ever. Like idk what possess people to fight in the street, but we weren't about to pass up some free entertainment. It was 2 married couples, one on the verge of divorce by the looks of their altercation, and the 2nd one trying to get them to reconcile. I swear i wish i had recorded it. We were all sitting in our car, mouths agape, listening to these people argue. From what i could gather the fighting couple were basically just letting each other have it. He complained about her being a lazy ass drunk who hasn't accomplished anything in life. She accused him of being a cheating bastard who ain't worth shit. Then went on to complain about how their daughter Bella doesn't like him because he beats her (the wife) in front of the kid. At one point the lady slapped the $#!+ out of the dude and the other woman had to hold him back. It was insane. The 2nd husband was trying so desperately to get them to just go home separately and hash the $#!+ out in the morning when everyone was sober but they weren't listening to him lol. Then he started gettin mad and cursin everybody out.

Eventually they all got in their cars and went where ever and we took off too. We ended up at IHOP but by then everyone was so tired that we just ate and parted ways with minimal chit-chat lol.

I was supposed to check out of the hotel that morning. Which logically meant i probably shouldn't have spent saturday night gettin crunk & drunk lol. I set my alarm but uh, my screen froze during the night and it was by the grace of God that even though i had only been asleep a couple of hours i just happened to open my eyes at about 10:35am...check-out was at 11am. I don't think i've ever moved so fast trying to clean, pack, and get dressed. But by 10:57am i was walking out of the door of the hotel room to check-out.

Now the whole reason i booked this particular hotel in the first place was because i had been there before and they were going to give me a discount. So imagine my surprise when i go to check-out and the discount is not there. Please believe, i made that poor man figure out the issue. Thank goodness i saved my confirmation email that had the discount info in it. Got my $25 discount and went on my merry little way.

Spent the rest of the day hanging out with my bestie again and then hanging out with my fam (parents and brother came to visit my grandparents that live out that way so i stopped by too). Finally made it back home at around 3:30am. No one was on the road so i was free to drive as fast as i wanted which was a nice feeling lol.

Hope you all had as lovely a weekend as i did lol. And are having an even better week.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Open or closed

I really wanna know wtf this nonsense is about open relationships and open marriages!?! Like, how does that even make sense? Will and Jada say the have an open marriage, Mo'nique and her man have an open marriage, and now Jill Scott is contemplating if that is the way to go. SMH

An open relationship is not a relationship at all. It is nothing more than a glorified friends-with-benefits. Why even enter into a relationship if you still wanna screw other people? Same goes double (triple even) for marriage! How can you be married but still expect to live the single life? On what planet is that a logical situation??? Certainly not here on earth. Definitely not in my life.

I take commitment very seriously. Im like Tony Montana...all i got in this life is my balls (abi, ovaries lol) and my word and i don't break either of em for nobody! When a man says he's committing to me, he is COMMITTING TO ME...not committing to me on the weekdays and Susie on the weekends. That is bullshit.

And i find it hard to believe that anyone is cool with this ish (except swingers i guess...but thats not really an open relationship). Mo'Nique claims that she is cool with having an open relationship and that while she'd never sleep with another man, she doesn't mind if her husband screws other chicks. So basically, she's cool with being cheated on as long as she knows its gonna happen ahead of time.

THAT BITCH IS A DAMN LIE! (pardon my french)

I know for some stupid people, cheating isn't a deal breaker but i doubt highly that people actually WANT to be cheated on. I love how society likes to paint men as the more possessive sex. Trust, if a man finds out his wife, girlfriend, jumpoff, sidepiece, or even a girl he's even see walk down the street is effin some other dude, its a wrap. But women...oh no, we just let dudes do whatever and we're cool with it. FALSE! Mo'Nique and every other chick out there is just as possessive as men supposedly are, if not more so. Thats why you see and hear the stories about penises being cut off, tires being slashed, cars being keyed and bricks through windows. Because that sharing stuff just does not fly no matter how cool a chick pretends to be with it. For the life of me i don't understand why anyone would want to share their girlfriend/boyfriend, talk less of sharing their wife/husband. GTFOHWTBS!

Deep down in my soul, i feel like chicks are just too damn desperate these days. Desperation mixed with a lack of self-esteem and the notion that if you let this dude get away, there won't be another one out there for you all conspire to create this open relationship nonsense.

I can't even begin to touch on how irresponsible it is to be smashing madd different people. Cuz i'll be damned if i catch an STD cuz YOU are out getting it in with the next broad. Thats crazy. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH. I know i'm not supposed to care about what other people do in their relationships but ugh, i don't want this kinda mentality to spread. The institute of marriage is crumbling already, we don't need to add this crap to it.

What say you folks...have any of you ever entertained the idea of an open relationship or open marriage? How would you react if the love of your life wanted to have an open marriage?

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Sometimes i think

that im just a total perv! lol. Scratch that, i don't think...I KNOW!

The ride to NC was about 9 hours. So i pretty much blindly loaded up my mp3 player with all kinds of music so i would have something to do on the long ride (cuz i sure as shooting had no plans on helping to drive #princessmode). As i sat in the backseat, drifting in and out of consciousness, i realized that 75% of my music was very very sexually explicit. Some of it was sexy and some of it was just downright nasty music that would make even the biggest nympho blush a little lol. Here are some of the songs that graced my ears:

Nice sex songs
Jeremih- Birthday Sex
J. Holliday- Bed
NeYo- Mirror
Kelly Rowland- Motivation
112- Sweet Love
Silk- Meeting in my Bedroom
Boyz II Men- I'll make love to you
Eric Benet- Chocolate Legs
R. Kelly- Greatest Sex
Janet Jackson- Anytime, Anyplace

Dirty, Filthy Sex Songs (NSFW...seriously!)
David Banner- Play
LL Cool J- Doin it
Plies- Becky
Twista- Wetter
Missy Elliot- Pussycat
Khia- My Neck, My Back
Ying Yang Twins- Wait (Whisper Song)
Spragga Benz & Lady Saw- Backshot
Vybz Kartel- Virginity
Vybz Kartel- Ramping Shop

Sigh...the stuff i listen to lol. And for those of you who may need to step your "sex soundtrack" game up, you might wanna take some notes here lol (you're welcome!).

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


"i need a girlfriend,cougar,sugarmummy,sugardaddy in lagos"

The newest silly search keyword that has sent someone to LadyNgo's world lol

A Tale of Eugenics

State of NC Apologizes to Woman Sterilized Against Her Will

elaine riddick, sterilization, black women, north carolina
By Julius Kane
The State of North Carolina is apologizing to Elaine Riddick who was only 14 years old when state doctors performed an illegal sterilization on her to prevent the young woman from ever having anymore children.
“They cut me open like I was a hog,” the now 57 year old Woman painfully recalled. The procedure was done without her knowledge or consent; as was the case with the majority of  victims.  Riddick was one of 13 people who spoke out at a meeting to determine the amount of compensation the state of North Carolina should pay the victims of their population control program.  An estimated 7,600 people who were deemed “unfit to procreate” were sterilized in North Carolina alone. There are 60,000 known victims nationwide, with tens of thousands more sterilized through unofficial and undocumented channels.
These figures, however,  do not include those states that destroyed documents after dismantling their eugenics programs. Information on thousands of victims who have since died, relocated or simply unaware their inability to have children was the result of state sponsored sterilization, will also never be known.  North Carolina is the only state that’s attempting to compensate its victims. Several other states are offering its victims apologies but currently no type of compensation or justice.
In 1968 Riddick gave birth to her only child. It was during the C-Section that doctors sterilized her; tricking her illiterate grandmother into signing consent forms. Today, a consent form still shows an “X” where the woman had put her mark. Riddick didn’t find out she had been sterilized until five years later when she and her husband were ready to have children of their own. There will never be an absolute way of counting how many young women across America were arbitrarily sterilized or how their lives were affected after the fact.
Eugenics is the social movement of White Supremacist who were determined to control or destroy Negro populations after the end of slavery. Under the context of creating a better society Eugenicists made certain that anyone they considered undesirable, promiscuous, criminal, mentally ill, disabled, feeble minded, on welfare, etc., were prevented from having children; thereby systematically improving the genetic composition of the population. In North Carolina, children as young as 10 were sterilized for misbehaving in school, truancy, or getting into fights. State law gave social workers, doctors, nurses and other city administrators the ability to refer anyone of their choosing to the states board of eugenics to be sterilized. Poor and “retarded” whites were also targeted but the main objective was to curb “Negro” population growth. 
The North Carolina Eugenics Board was created in 1933 with almost no government oversight or state accountability. While the number of sterilizations in other states slowed down after the Nazi atrocities of World War II came to light,North Carolina’s eugenics program increased. An estimated 3,000 victims are still living today. It wasn’t until 1974 that the North Carolina Eugenics Board was disbanded. The state issued a formal apology in 2002.
Sidenote: Hitler's idea for ethnically cleansing the jewish population in germany (and eventually the world) were partially fueled by American practice and literature in favor of eugenics. <--the shit they don't teach you in school.

My weekend in North Carolina

I spent this past weekend in North Carolina at the 1st Annual Dease-Jones Family reunion. Its (almost) always great to be around family, especially since we live in west bubblefuck and don't get to see everyone as often as when we lived in NY. The idea for the reunion came about last summer when my great-grandmother, matriarch of the Jones clan passed away. When we all gathered for her homegoing, there were so many of us that literally didn't know each other, hadn't seen each other in years, kids that some of us had never met, and so the fam decided to put together the family reunion.

Our weekend started out very late. I was told we would be leaving at about 1:30pm we still had not hit the damn highway because my brother had football practice and then decided to go cut all his hair off instead of doing something to it the night before like he was supposed to. So we missed all of whatever happened on the first night of the reunion. We finally arrived at the hotel at about 9:30-10pm. Thank God for journey mercies because the weather was rough and i guess we just missed it. People drowning, city being evacuated...i have no idea how we didn't run into it but like i said, thank God. Coincidentally, since we missed dinner, I got to eat at the waffle house for the first time ever. I prefer IHOP, but im glad i got the experience lol.

My family moves slower than molasses in winter time. It was high noon the next day and folks were still in their beds. So a lot of people ended up doing their own thing on Saturday because nobody felt like waiting around. Me and my parents, my brother and one of my 1st cousins went to downtown Charlotte for the day. Walked around, checked out one of the African-American art galleries and caught the Carolina Panthers practice. It was hot as hell and i was not wearing tourist clothes. So needless to say i was a bit miserable walking all over downtown in my lil cute get-up.

My brother did find me "a man" while we were walking back to the car. But that fool let him get away. I didn't get a look at his face but the man looked amazing from the back. Big broad shoulders, chiseled muscles, skin the color of milk chocolate and dripping with sweat (he was jogging)...sigh.

Saturday dinner was the one time that everybody got to sit down together and mix and mingle. The kids were running all over the place. They are all so cute but there's entirely too many of them lol. Drinks were flowing- even though the haters didn't wanna let me get my sip on. I gotta say, the sucky thing about being one of the younger ones is that even when you get older, you're still younger than somebody lol. My cousin flat-out refused to give me the damn mojito and even asked my parents for permission because he said in his eyes i was still his "lil cuz". Im 24, i am not lil anymore lol.

All in all, it was a great weekend, even though there were some people M.I.A. And it was waaaaaaaaay overdue.

Friday, August 5, 2011

Unhappy friday

I hate when something pisses me off, and even though i know that i shouldn't be pissed about it, i still can't stop being pissed about it. (did that make sense to ya'll?). It's really quite annoying. Patience is slowing becoming a virtue. I pray for it regularly. I've been irritated since like 6:30am. I don't know about you but its completely absurd to be mad at that hour of the day.

Anyhow, im leaving for North Carolina in a hour or two. We're driving (-__-). 9hrs trapped in the car with my parents and my brother. LOL. Its fine, not like we haven't done the cross country road trip a billion times before anyway.

Hope everyone has a great weekend

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Its 2011: Part II

I started writing a response to the comments on the previous post and quickly realized that i was writing a novel so i decided to make it its own post. And add some more stories to it. If you don't know whats going on, reference this post first.
I think sometimes, we as "Africans" are part of the problem. For example, i went to an African Braiding Salon to get my hair done. The lady doing my hair had an accent that sounded familiar to me so i asked where she was from. She said Africa. In my mind i said no shit sherlock (my inside voice is rude as hell btw), but to her i said where in Africa. She said west africa. I rolled my eyes and said look, im Nigerian, im hearing your accent and i just wanna know what country you're from. She said oh, you're from Nigeria, i'm from Togo. I said, thats what i thought. I have some good friends from Togo and my bf is Togolese and you and they have a similar accent. I didn't feel like speaking to her after that lol
That whole conversation could've been a three sentence exchange but instead she took for granted that i was some ignorant fool that couldn't possibly know anything about Africa so why even take the time entertaining me.
I know a lot of people who think they know what the US and african-americans are like and as much as it irritates the hell outta me to hear people say the dumb ish they say, i know its not gonna get any better if i don't take the time out to at least attempt to correct the people i come across that have these misconceptions. No one is going to seek out the truth if they don't want to know or think they already know it (and that's on both sides of the coin.)
Im not using this to excuse ignorance, but i think that in life there are a lot of teachable moments that we choose to ignore because either we're fed up with hearing the same nonsense over and over, or we just don't feel like taking the time/opportunity, and sometimes because we're tired of trying teaching people. All of which are natural responses but they don't necessarily help the situation either.

Two more "gems" from my past:

Funny/Sad Exchange #1
I was talking to someone about a friend i know. This is a loose transcription as the actual convo took place several years ago:
Me: Yeah, its funny how i've always talked about wanting to meet someone from Swaziland and then outta nowhere here comes John
Other Person: Oh, really. You've never met anyone from Switzerland? I've got a whole bunch of friends from Switzerland.
Me: Giggle, I said Swaziland.
Other Person: Why are your pronouncing it like that. Its pronounced Switzerland!
Me: *rolls eyes* Im not an idiot. I know how to pronounce Switzerland but thats not where im talking about. I said, Swaziland.
Other Person: what the heck is that? I think you're just making it up.
Me: (o_0) Why the hell would i make it up? Swaziland is a land-locked country in southern Africa. Google it!
Other Person: Well i've never heard of it
Me: So i guess it, and the hundreds of thousands of people living there must not exist because you haven't heard of it then, huh?

Funny/Sad Exchange #2:
This one didn't actually happen to me, it happened to my friend.
*Girls goes into a bodega*
Girl: Hey i need a calling card
Teller: Where do you need to call
Girl: Togo
*Teller hands Girl a Caribbean calling card*
Girl: No, no i need to call Togo
Teller: Honey, its pronounced Tobago
Girl: Wait, what? No, not Tobago... Togo
*Chaos ensues and Girl leaves bodega empty-handed and frustrated*

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


mm mmm mmmmmmm! now that there is a sexy piece of man! I can just imagine the beautiful offspring that could be created with such a marvelous specimen of the male species. Clearly, a trip to Belize is in order if this is how they make 'em down there!!!

His name is Arlen Escarpeta and his info can be found here and here

Motivation + She Aint You

I actually had another blog in mind to publish today but since Kemi beat me to the punch lol, i decided to decode some song lyrics here today.

When she touches me, I'm wishing that they were your hands
And when I'm with her its only 'bout the sex
With you I had a bad romance
And if I could, just trade her in I would
Cause nobody compares to ya

^^^that is really REALLY effed up! Like, really effed up. I can understand that sometimes people jump into relationships because they either don't realize that they are not over the last bf/gf or because they think it'll help them get over the last bf/gf but damn. It's bad enough that you actually feel this way but to go and tell your ex "yeah im just screwin this chick, i really wanna be with you though". I'd be hott if i found out my alleged "boo" was on some nonsense like this. If you know you are only using this chick, be a decent human being and let her find someone who actually gives a eff about her. And if you know there is someone else out there that you wanna be with, grow a pair and go tell that person. There's no sense in dragging other innocent souls into your madness.

And when we're done, I don’t wanna feel my legs
-that is a very serious statement. Idk if people know how serious lol. Thats a lot of pressure. Not everyone is capable of the caliber of sex that would cause a woman to lose sensation in her legs. IJS

And when we're done, I just wanna feel your hands all over me baby
-If that man put in enough work to make you lose the feeling in your legs, you need to get your ass up and make that man a sandwich! Hands all over sure that man is hungry and exhausted and is done touching you for the night. Selfish girl.

but you can’t stop there, music still playin in the background
-The Sex Soundtrack will set you up for failure every time!!! Spare yourself the embarrassment of having the music playing longer than you are laying (pun completely intended). Men of the world, if you are going to set the mood with a "baby making music" playlist (don't act like i'm the only one who has one or two of those), then you need to know your stamina level. If you know you can only go for 20 minutes, then don't put an hour's worth of songs on there. Otherwise there better be at least 40 minutes of foreplay to make up for the rest of the playlist.

And you’re almost there
You can do it, I believe in you baby
So close from here

Baby imma be your motivation
-There's only so much that motivation can do lol.

Don't mind me jo, its a slow day in the mind of LadyNgo

Monday, August 1, 2011

Its 2011, you can't be serious!

The following has been happening to me a lot lately:
PersonA- Nice to meet you. Thats a unique name you have, where is it from?
Me- Nigeria
PersonA- Oh really that's cool. You know i just recently went to Johannesburg and I spent a little time in Pretoria
Me- *blank stare* oooookay. Thats nice.

Im trying to people really, in the year 2011, still think that Africa is a country? Like really? And this is not from regular everyday people (not that the average person shouldn't realize Africa is a continent) but from well-learned, intelligent people. The last person who I had this convo with was an Academic Dean at a prestigious university!

Im noticing that for a lot of people, Africa literally is Egypt, South Africa, and a bunch of places in between the two where they are killing each other or trying to share Sani Abacha's illegally acquired wealth with you via email. (-__-). I told someone that I was Nigerian and bless her heart, she asked me what part of South Africa, Nigeria was in (or if South Africa was in Nigeria- i can't completely recall at the moment). *Big Sigh* I had to give her a mini geography lesson because I could not continue to be associated with her if she didn't at least know that they were 2 completely different countries.

Just the other day, I heard someone say there were only 6 continents. I didn't know which continent the person was leaving out but damn...this was a grown ass man. There is no excuse for that!

Now i feel like i have to say that in the US school system, the only thing you learn about Africa is that its where slaves come from (which u learn about in very very brief detail if you get any formal education on the topic at all) and the history and wonders of Egypt. Nothing else. So i honestly can't blame people too much. You aren't going to take the time to learn about what you don't feel like learning about, especially if the powers that be didn't think it was worth learning in the 1st place.

Sidenote- is it really august? where is time going?? it seems like just yesterday i was saying damn is it july and a week ago i was saying damn is it june? 2011 is going to be a distant memory soon.