Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Old friends and Old loves

The Old Friend
Recently, i bumped into this former friend of mine. Now me and this dude had a major falling out some time ago. Like serious falling out, to the point where if this falling out had happened in person rather than over the phone, i'd be in jail right now. I spent the whole day so mad that i literally was shaking and punching my wall (very light-handedly though be cause i wasn't trying to leave holes in the wall and lose my security deposit!). 
So anyway, i bumped into this guy at a party. He saw me before i saw him. I had every intention of walking past without a word but old dude approached me with arms wide open trying to hug me. Instinctively, I backed up. And he was looking at me like whats the problem. I sarcastically replied oh, i thought u don't eff with me anymore and was about to walk away when he said, please, you're still thinking about that? I don't hold grudges, now come give me a hug!"
Now, im not one to hold a grudge for too long either and to be quite frank, im not even mad about the whole falling out that we had. BUT that doesn't negate the fact that 1) it happened 2) he was at fault and 3) he had not apologized. We made small talk for the minute or two that he had my attention and i moved on to where my friends were posted up. At the end of the night when i was leaving a chucked my deuces and kept it moving. 
Like i said, i don't hold grudges. But if you wrong me, lose my trust, or generally cause me to dislike you, that ish (for the most part) isn't just going to magically go away because you have decided that you want my friendship/love/respect/etc regardless of the fact that the situation hasn't been rectified. Which leads me to...

The Old Love
If you're not familiar with the saga of me and Red, you should skim through Unrequited Love. I promise you it will be very easy to pick out the parts that are about Red if you don't feel like reading the whole post no judgement.

Just the other day i was at home talking to my mom and she showed me the program from my niece's Pre-K graduation (my baby is growing up so fast *tear*). She mentioned that my god-daughter (who is also growing up way too fast) is in the same class as my niece. So i'm perusing through the program and i see a very familiar name-to which i let out a very audible sigh. My mom asked me what was wrong. And i told her nothing, just that i saw a name i recognized. Of course, these are 5 year olds so she wondering who in the world i could possibly know lol.
For the sake of argument, lets say Red's real name is Rodney Edgar Donaldson. The name i saw in the program was Edgar Donaldson. So i shared this with mommy dearest and at first she was like:
then she was like:
then she was like:

and she said "that dude is someone's father???" To which i replied "yes mommy, he has several children if all the gossip i've been told over the years is true." And of course she then shook her head and went into a mini-mommy rant about people havin kids and dodging bullets and whatever else lol

But it definitely made me think a bit about the craziness that once was Red and LadyNgo and what may have happened if life never got in the way. I wouldn't say i was waxing sentimental or anything but just thinking about the possibilities and how different life may have been. Im sure that i never would have left NY, or at the very least i wouldn't have gone far. Im pretty sure i'd have a least 1 or 2 kids by now (which would also translate into being married because there's no way i would've just played house lol). So many crazy thoughts running through my head.

Anywho, life happened and none of that came to pass. No love lost, it is what it is. I haven't talked to Red in a really long time. And even though we definitely had our downs and ups, i wish him and his nothing but good things and God's favor cuz at the end of the day he was a good guy. So i speak it to the universe: (even though im positive i could have the message passed directly to him by one friend or relative or another lol) Red, where ever you are and whatever you are doing, i wish you love, peace, and nappyness happiness!

Me and Red and our limo-mates getting ready to leave for prom

Me and Red, and my bestie and her boo (and the parents of my god-daughter) at our senior prom


  1. You guys just look so cute together, and seeing that your bestie and her boo hooked up, I can imagine how you feel. But hey, I like how you wish him only good. Que sera sera.

    As for the first guy, me o, I will ask him to apologise.

  2. i forgive, i never forget
    if you hurt me really badly i wouldnt even say hi, talk less of hug.
    i know a particular person now, that i would walk right by and not say a word too.
    and im pretty forgiving so just imagine how much that bastard pissed me off

  3. You look so cute in the pic.


  4. @Myne- we weren't even together then so imagine how cute we were together when we were actually happy lol. As for the "friend", im not even thinkin about it. The odds of me seeing him anytime soon are slim to none anyway.

    @Laurenta-forgive but never forget is the key. In general, people are selfish and think that because they are over it you should be over it to, regardless of your feelings.

    @ilola- thanks :)

  5. Red looks good on you Lady!
    and you have a most generous heart...well no use crying or ranting over spillt milk is there?

  6. I know i never forget, and i'm not too sure if i forgive either.
    But what i can never get is how some people think that after doing something wrong or something that hurt me, everything should be automatically alright whenever we see. Right. Not happening.


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