I have somewhat of a tale of unrequited love that i feel like sharing, for no particular reason, so read if u like.
Me and Blue had this back-and-forth "thing" since we were about 9 years old until i moved away for college. Long time right?!? Pretty much a whole decade. Of course when we were 9, the only thing we did was hold hands, ride bikes/roller skate together, and giggle and make googly-eyes at one another when we saw each other at school. Very innocent stuff. But i can honestly say that even back then, not even knowing what love really was, it was luv. And even at that young age, every1 just knew LadyNgo and Blue would be together forever.
As we got older of course, life happened and we drifted apart (despite the fact that we live only about 4 houses away from each other lol). There were times when he liked me but i didn't like him. Similarly, there were times when i liked him but he didn't like me. And there were those random times when we liked each other but one thing or another always managed to louse things up. He was also 2 years ahead of me in school and 1 year ahead in age,* so there were a lot of times when we were not in the same school which made it easier for him to go his way and me to go mine.
*for clarification- the way my school system worked was that if you were born after December 1 (which i was) you were kept back a year from starting school because they felt you weren't ready because you'd be so young. Stupid rule in my opinion but it is what it is
Around summer of 2003, we shared a moment that should have led somewhere but again, for whatever reason didn't, and I ended up with Red, my now former fiance.
By the time summer of 2005 rolled around, me and Red were through, i had just graduated high school and was enjoying my last couple of months before i went away to college. Somehow someway, Blue made his way back into my every day life. We spent a majority of the summer reconnecting and enjoying each others company. Chillin on the block (you ain't know LadyNgo was a thug lol), going to the beach, riding out to the city...making up for lost time if you will. We even had the same car lol. Mine was a white honda with burgundy interior and his was a burgundy honda with burgundy interior His was nicer than mine though lol, my lil putt-putt was a piece of crap but i rode that sucker til the wheels fell off! (But to be fair, me and Red had the same car too. I really don't know how that lil jumble of coincidence happened) He was the only man that i ever let my drive my car (up until that point at least) so you know it was serious lol.
One day, i was sitting outside on my porch when Blue's older brothers (whom over time had become like my brothers too) came walking down the street and stopped to talk to me. Since, in talking to me, they ended up missing their bus, they asked if i could drive them to Lakeview. I wasn't doing anything and gas wasn't an arm and a leg back then so i agreed. So we're driving and the following convo ensues:
Me: So where do you want me to drop you off at
Brother1: At Uncle (so-and-so)'s house
Me: LOL, as if i know where that is
Brother1: What?!? Blue never brought you over there?
Me: *insert strange look* No, why would he?
Brother1: You know why!
Me: No...i don't. Please, enlighten me!
Brother2: When are you and Blue gonna stop playing around and get together???
Brother2: Please, don't front like you don't know. Ya'll been playing this game for how many years now. You the only girl Blue every brings around the house, the only girl we've all accepted as part of the family (Blue has 3 older brothers and 2 younger sisters all of whom are like fam to me still to this day), the only one he talks about like that Shit, you and Red should have never even dated. You know Blue was planning on asking you to be his girl right around the time you and Red started going out.
So at this point we nearly crashed because i simply couldn't believe what the eff i was hearing. Considering the SERIOUSLY tumultuous relationship me and Red had, and all the love me and Blue had for one another, to hear something like this can make you want to stab somebody.
Anyhow, i drop them off and I go home and do some tall thinking about the situation. Eventually i decided to talk to Blue about this and of course he confirms everything that his brothers told me. If looks could kill, he would've been 8 feet under (not even 6 ft!) So of course I asked why the hell did things go down the way they did and he said basically that he thought that I had already been dating Red when he and I had our moment, which pissed him off because i guess he thought i was leading him on or using him or whatever. So he decided then that he was gonna let me do me and he was gonna do him. (Which made sense because the whole time me and Red were together, me and Blue NEVER talked). And of course this infuriated me more because truth be told, I didn't even KNOW Red when me and Blue were doing our thing. All i know is, after we had our moment, Blue vanished into thin air and in came Red and the rest is history.
After going round and round the mulberry bush silently contemplating the "what if" question, we ended that conversation with the inevitable 'well there's nothing we can do about it now' especially since by this point I think i only had about a week or two left before i was leaving and I knew my parents were moving away as well. We spent time for my remaining weeks in town and had one final goodbye before i left and for the most part, that was that. I have seen him a couple of times when i would go visit the neighborhood (my sister still lives on our old street and his family does too...funny enough, he and my sister's husband have some sort of familial relationship so theres no real escaping him even if i wanted to). We've both since moved on though. We're still cool and everything.
So...that's my story. A whole lot going on there with the bouts of unrequited love, some "you snooze you lose" and "closed mouths don't get fed" and "what if, what if" moments mixed in for good measure.
My life has always been one calamity after another like this lol. And folks wonder why i'm so diligent about keeping my diaries. This stuff is literary gold lol. I'm just waiting til im too old to feel shame so i can write my memoirs.
**I hope i didn't paint a negative picture of Red in the post. Despite all the damn drama that came with our relationship i don't regret it and i did love him very very much. Im sure in the future i'll be compelled to share the story of me and Red's relationship but not today.