Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Something just ain't right

Not that long ago, me and some of my girlfriends were sitting around talking about (of course) men and relationships and fidelity. And the question came up about how can you tell if a man is up to no good. To which i reply, there are ALWAYS warning signs, without fail. Sometimes you don't know what to look for but most times, people choose to ignore them altogether or pretend as if they are no big deal. But that's always the 1st big mistake that can/may lead to a lot more pain and heartbreak down the line. So here are some tips to let you know that something just ain't right about your relationship (most of which i've either seen for myself or are just common sense):

  • You don't know his last name and/or he doesn't know yours
    • honestly, if you've been past date number 2 and don't know the last name of the man sitting across from you- there's a problem. I can't even say i would go on a first date with someone who's last name i don't know. I am akin to a secret agent. I will search google, fb, twitter, myspace, hi5, blogger, the local jail records, marriage records...the whole she-bang to make sure i know who i'm dealing with- can't do that without a last name!
  • You don't know where he lives
    • I will admit, as crazy as people are these days, its pretty fool-hearty to give out your home address to just anyone. But if you are at the point in your relationship where its a "legit" relationship and you don't even know this dude's zip code- there's a problem. Either he lives with his mama, he lives with his wife/gf, he lives in a box, or he just ain't that into you.
  • You never see him before midnight/The only time he calls you is after 11pm
    • Hello! Unless this man works the late shift and doesn't get home until the wee hours of the night, you my friend are a Certified Grade-A Booty Call! There's a [hood] saying that goes something like: The only thing open after 11pm are 7-Eleven and legs. So if you get those middle of the night calls, you should know what's up and what position you are playing!
  • You never see him AFTER 11pm.
    • Again, unless he works the graveyard shift, you are not his main. His main chick is the reason why you don't see him at night. Because he has a curfew and has to be in bed by 11pm!
  • He doesn't have any texts, phone calls, or girls numbers in his phone.
    • now to the untrained eye of a lot of people i know, this isn't suspicious. But um, what kind of person doesn't have ANY kind of activity in their phone??? I know this is the technology age and a lot of ppl are BBM'ing or on facebook and what have you but come on! Likewise what kind of person doesn't have a single person in their phone of the opposite sex? I guarantee you some of those "Joe's" and "Chris's" are really "Josephine" and "Christina"!
  • His phone is locked at all times
    • Again, doesn't seem suspicious to many but most people (not all) don't lock their phone unless there is something in there that they don't want "someone" to see.
  • You've been in a relationship for over 6 months and don't know any of his friends
    • Its one thing for you not to know his relatives as some old school parents will start making plans for the Ikwu Aka as soon as they meet any person you are dating. But you don't even know his friends? That screams "i'm not serious about this girl"
  • He introduces you to everyone as his "homegirl" or his "friend"
    • This kind of thing is ok when you're in the dating phase. But a year or so in, and ya'll been playing house and you still don't have the title of girlfriend? Something is definitely amiss
  • Every chick you ever see him with is his sister/niece/cousin's baby's mama's best friend
    • C'mon man, do i really gotta explain that one?
  • This one is a mix of modern concepts and some throwback concepts: If you don't know his home phone, only know his pager number or if he has 3 phones and you only have 1 of the numbers...
    • Yeah, you ain't a major player in his life. *i know i took it waaaaay back with the pager reference lol*
So that ladies and gents, are some of LadyNgo's sure fire ways to tell that something isn't right about your relationship. There are many others but these are the ones that quickly come to mind. Shine your eye well well and use them as you wish!

Warning- The thoughts and opinions expressed in this post are mostly for comedic purposes. LadyNgo will not be held liable for any issues you may encounter as a result of using these tips to investigate your wishy-washy significant other. Individual results may vary.

12 comments:

  1. Knowing the listed are very important if you are in a relationship.

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  2. hmmm ....it's not always black and white i must say ... though the list is kinda true

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  3. Great tips...but a love sick fool (which a lot of desperate girls are) will always make excuses for the guy

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  4. Lol @ sister/cousin's babay mama's best friend!

    True talk though

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  5. Do people date or get into relationships without knowing all this?? for real?? This present day ?? I`m in wonderland. Good pointers though. Thanks for following my Blog. Stalking yours too. :)

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  6. Nice tips..oh and and if he has multiple numbers, he is probably a yahoo yahoo or 419ner..this applies to girls..

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  7. Many girls need to read this! lol @Unveilinggold's comment!!

    PS: I gave you an award on my blog!

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  8. Love is blind. If you love your partner you should be blind to these pointers. lol

    Sorry, it is love that is blind not you. So shine your eye well well like Lady Ngo said o.

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  9. Locked phone/He never lets his phone out of his sight? Smell a BIG rat!

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