Monday, May 16, 2011

Tales of Intuition and Paranoia

There is nothing in this world that a woman can't sniff out. No lie, transgression, or misdeed can hide from a woman on a mission to find out the truth. And its all thanks to that lil thing we call "Intuition". Its a mighty powerful thing. It can turn an ordinary woman into Sherlock Holmes. No matter how well you think you are coding your behavior/actions, intuition can sniff out your nonsense very easily. One experience of mine that always come to mind is the following:
I was dating talking to this guy a year or two ago. Nice kid, working, had his own place, funny...seemed like a pretty good guy. Everything was going fine, we enjoyed spending time together whether going out or just sitting at home watching tv. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. But one day while we were hanging out, this lil light bulb went off in my head. Something wasn't right. I ignored it at first. The guy had given no signs that anything was amiss. There were no "strange phone calls", no odd or off-putting behavior, nothing. But the feeling just would not go away. So i did some small snooping and yup...everything that glittered definitely was not gold.
Absolutely no provocation, no evidence of foul play yet with literally 5 minutes of investigation it was all laid out in front of me- just from listening to that nagging little voice in my head that said uh-uh, something is wrong here. Tread lightly!


Now having said that, there is a very thin line between intuition and paranoia. Trust me, my toe has found its way to that line several times over this my short life. Intuition will have you asking questions and shinning your eye very well. Paranoia will have you checking your man's cell phone, credit card receipts, hacking into his facebook and doing spot check to make sure he came home wearing the same underwear that he left the house wearing in the morning (i kid you not- though i personally have never gone THAT far) just because he came home 5 minutes late, or took too long to reply your text message.
Your boyfriend/fiance/husband (whichever you are more comfortable with for this scenario) leaves for work at the usual time. He calls you around 2pm to say he is staying late. He finally shows up at around midnight. Intuition tells you that something may be wrong and you should ask some subtle yet leading questions. Paranoia tells you to throw hot grits on him as he walks through the door because he was obviously out screwing his secretary!
I must say that paranoia is not always negative. Paranoia can also lead to delusions of grandeur. Example:
Your man leaves the house to go "hang out with the fellas" and play some basketball at around 11am. He tells you he'll be back in a couple of hours after he's done hoopin' with his boys. You have been trying to call him all day but to no avail. He comes home at about 2am, smelling like cucumber melon soap and has a pink smudge on the collar of his shirt. Your intuition tells you this nigga must be crazy. "hanging out with the fellas" my ass! Your paranoid delusions of grandeur will have you thinking you are Beyonce and singing:  My ego so big i must admit, i got every reason to feel like im that bitch! so he couldn't possibly be fooling around
My message: trust your intuition! 9 times out of 10 it will steer you in the right direction. If your gut (or that lil voice- however your intuition manifests itself) is telling you that something isn't right, it probably isn't! But, do not let your intuition jump to paranoia. I know it is not a very big leap so its very easy to allow your thoughts to get you carried away. Unless you find yourself in immediate danger, it is best to be subtle in trying to find out what you want to know. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar (though i don't know why you would want to catch flies in the first place).

Happy Monday all!


  1. Nice one LadyNgo and yeah,women are really intuitive.I've seen it work severally and rightly too.

  2. Word! Ask any woman who later finds out her boyfriend/hubby is cheating on her. Her intuition whispered in her ear, but she preferred to hide her head in the sand....

  3. Ah you didnt complete the story of the dude u were hanging out with. So u found out he was dating someone??
    And yes, most times when i feel like something is amiss, it probably is. I never ignore my intuition.

  4. Intuition is a powerful thing oh! In life in general, you shouldn't do without it


  5. @9ja-Great: Very true. I think men have the intuition too just that they don't tap into it as well as the womenfolk lol

    @Ginger- yes, my sister. So very true. Too often we ignore our intuition because it will have unfavorable outcome but it is almost always to our own detriment.

    @kitkat- lol, well i will share that yes there was some other person in the guy's life but there were other things too. It would take all day to tell the whole tale lol.

    @Adiya- I agree


Feel free to share your thoughts too