Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Memoirs of a disgruntled rooommate

*Sorry i've been M.I.A but internet no dey for this new apartment at the moment. Should be back to my regular blogging habits tomorrow. Hope everyone had a good start to their week :)

If you read my previous post, you now know that I cannot stand having roommates. Since August of 2005 it has literally been one debacle after another having to share my living space with people. So sit back, relax, pop some popcorn and allow me to share my horrible, comical and utterly ridiculous stories with you.

Fall of 2005: a fresh faced college freshman named LadyNgo begins her new life 1200 miles away from home at the lovely University of South Florida. First issue was living in an all-girl dorm but that brought challenges that i can't even begin to get into now. Anyhow, at first my roommate was cool...but then she began to bring her bf over- eh, no problem, he seems like a nice guy. But then...sounds...yeah, you get the picture. Thats just not cool and i made no secret of the fact that if she was nasty enough to do the nasty in front of the person that sleeps literally 5 feet away, there were going to be problems. And thats how i ended up having the entire dorm room to myself for the rest of the semester

Spring 2006: My new roommate, a nice Australian girl enters with her parents. She was cool beans...until it was time for bed. She would put set the temperature at 50-something degrees and then climb into her bed with her 5 blankets. I only had a comforter and a top sheet...needless to say i was freezing and immediately turned the temp up to a NORMAL 74 degrees. Needless to say, our living arrangement didnt workout and eventually she switched rooms with a girl from Jamaica who took it upon herself to make my  life miserable as well. From lying to our RA about me breaking our roommate agreement to hovering over her hotplate cooking chicken in the dark at 2 in the morning. Sigh

Fall 2006-Spring 2007: I moved into a suite with my own damn bedroom so as to avoid this foolishness. But my suite-mate apparently had no friends and would literally wait by her door for me to come out of my room so she can try to tag along with me everywhere i went...from the laundry room to the dining hall to the student union...hell sometimes she'd even follow me into our bathroom. Thank goodness there were individual stalls.

Summer 2007- Fall 2007: I finally move off campus and into a very lovely apartment with 2 other nice girls whom i didn't know. Everything was great until one girl turned up pregnant and decided to sublease her apartment...

Spring 2008: The new girl was a freaking nightmare. I remember on one occasion i was asleep in my room with my bf (im a bad girl sometimes, i know lol), i had worked a double shift and he was coming home from working back to back doubles at both his jobs so sleep was a number one priority. So imagine my surprise when this girl and her drunk friends come to the apartment keeping up all kinds of noise. I don't know exactly what was going on all i know is i heard alot of noise, at one point some drunk man was banging on my bedroom door asking for Ashley.
This new girl (who's name i honestly dont think i ever knew) was the 1st one to move out when our lease was up and when she left so did several of my kitchen wares including my George Foreman grill. (>_<) I suppose my consolation was supposed to be that she left HER foreman grill behind...which was a major downgrade from the grill i had. I still have it though and make decent use of it lol

Summer 2008-Summer 2009: I moved into a 3 bedroom apartment with my sorority sister and one other girl. The third girl was nice enough. A lil "hood" but im a lil hood myself (so is my soror) so it was cool. DeJaVu...a month or two into our lease the girl gets pregnant and decides to move in with the babydaddy and sublease her room to her brother, a real big guy- had to have been at least 6'2 around 250lbs. This begins quite an interesting tale. Everyone in the apartment had a significant other, so at any given moment there were at least 6 people living in our apartment- no problem because everyone pretty much stayed in their rooms and my soror's bf could cook so that was always a plus lol. Anyhow...me and the "brother" had adjacent bedrooms which means we shared a wall. Lets just say this guy was an extremely sexually active young man with a very vocal partner...sigh. The worst of it was that our beds were along the same wall so whenever they got carried away and hit the wall (which i was usually leaning up against) i'd always feel so dirty and included in their romp. Quite disturbing.
To make matters even more interesting, i think this guy may have been um...bisexual. One night i remember the guy doing his thing with the girl and the girl left. My bedroom door was open because my significant other was over washing his clothes. I heard the front door open when he walked her downstairs. Then i heard the door open again and saw him come back in. Then i heard the door open a second time and another man walked in and went into homeboy's room and...sounds began to permeate through the walls. Mind you it is like 2 in the morning. yeeeeeah! I asked my guy if he had seen what i had seen and he said he wasn't paying attention and that he really didn't want/need to know homophobe! lol. I decided that maybe my mind was playing tricks on me so i just brushed it off. That is until one night a few weeks later. Me and my guy were in the common area watching a movie (the lights were off and the curtains were drawn so from outside im sure it looked like nobody was home) and the dude came in...with his male companion. Awkward!
*Just as an aside: I saw dude's room after everyone moved out. His mattress was DESTROYED! Even the boxspring was broken. No wonder i could hear him and his partner!! rough sex on deck!

Summer 2009-Summer 2010: I was the only person who renewed the lease so for a lil while i was in the apartment by myself...talk about amazing. A whole 3 bedroom apartment for lil old me. But that came crashing to an end midway through September when my two new roomies moved in and turns out these were girls that i had known for a few years. At first everything was cool...but then it wasn't. Now let me add this disclaimer- i love those girls, they are cool people but living with them was so not the business. Our apartment was always a hot mess...look like a tornado ran through it. There were always people over, (why they could never go to their friends houses i will never know). And our kitchen...don't even get me started. Days would go by without the dishes being washed to the point where there would literally be too many dishes in the sink to even be able to wash them. Trash would just pile up and pile up until they could convince someone to take it out. It was just crazy. I had a mini fridge and a microwave in my room and there were times where i'd literally only east fast food or food you can make in the microwave just to avoid having to go in the kitchen. Let me say, that i am a slob in my own right. If you look at my room right now you can barely see the floor from all the clothes, shoes, textbooks, purses, etc but i am a closet slob. My mess is confined to my bedroom. My cure for being a slob is the shame/embarrassment of having other people see that im a slob lol.

August 2010- December 2010: I moved into my first apartment without any roommate and it was such a wonderful experience. Arranging my things the way i wanted, not having to worried about who was using my things or eating my food, playing my music as loud as i wanted, walking around naked as the day i was born if i want to (was that TMI? Sorry lol) Unfortunately, when i changed schools i had to move out and ended up back home with Mom and Dad and younger brother.

That dear readers, is why i do not ever want to live with other people (besides a spouse and children if i feel up to the challenge) again.


  1. Hahaha now i get why you're anti-roomies Haha! SMH @ the sex freak dude lool!! & the roomie that had sex with her dude while u both shared a room -___-
    I shared a dorm room with about 20 other girls during my days in an all-girls boarding school so i'm a bit more tolerant when it comes to roomies.
    I love my present roomie, then again, we've been roomies for less than half a year.

  2. You're not serious!!!!lol. You were just experiencing humanity :). it makes you wholesome.

    p.s. Tell me about that bed banging thing. I experience it whenever i vist my friend. His next door roommates are rabbits!! thankfully they are silent.

  3. Wow! I might be scarred just reading this. I know how hard it is to live with someone. All this sex and getting pregnant though...mmmmh


  4. Wow. Such experiences. Lol. The girl who waited in front of her door for you and followed you everywhere was hilarious. And at least you got to keep a Foreman grill.

  5. Ok,you have every reason not to develop a phobia for roommates.I hated roommate issue from the word go,thank God my only roommate was one of my best friends!

  6. I'm usually the roommate who can tolerate all sorts, but we had some issues when I shared a flat with my sister. I am a bit lazy and I admit that maybe I wasn't holding up on the housekeeping duties, lol...

  7. I tagged you in a post on my blog. Empty your bag lady!!!


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