Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Lord of the Dance

So im sitting at a red light on my way to school today. I look to my left and i see this kid standing at the corner waiting to cross the street. I turned back hoping the light would turn green. Then i caught something out the corner of my eye. This kid was dancing his ass off in the middle of the street (well he was still standing on the corner, but you know what i mean)! Like, really dancing. Not bobbing his head or doing a two step...DAAAAAANCING! As if he was trying to get on Dancing with the Stars or auditioning for a Chris Brown video. This kid was going in! It was THE most hilarious thing ever. What makes it even funnier is that after a minute or so, he caught himself and went back to standing still waiting patiently for the light to change...only to start dancing again. Im so glad i was late for school because if i had been on time, i would've missed this lol.

Little known fact- i've always wanted to just bust out dancing in the middle of the street

Its 11:30pm here so im getting ready for bed but I'll be back later on with a real post lol.

Things that just don't make sense

This is a different spin on my usual "random observations" posts

People that comment on blogs anonymously
Im not referring to people who have anonymous blogs. It's a blog, moreover its the internet. No one really knows who you are. You can be whomever you want to be, so why be "anonymous"? Personally i have like 5 personalities on the blogs. All with their own name, opinions, writing style, etc (no im not crazy or suffering from any personality disorder found in the DSM-IV, or at least not that i know of).

If you love something let it go, if it comes back to its yours'
Probably one of the dumbest things ever. If i love you why should i let you go??? And what happens if the person/thing i love has also let me go and is sitting around waiting for me to return while im also sitting around waiting for them to return? Am i supposed to tell them ahead of time that im kicking them to the curb because i love them? And if that is the case what if they decide im an idiot for doing that and go on about their way?

I've always wondered what kind of depraved individual was sitting on their farm one day and decided it would be a good idea to suck on a cow udder or pull on the cow udder and drink what came out (i wasn't there abeg, so i don't know which way it happened).

Same logic as the milk, who sat there and decided to eat unborn baby chickens or something that fell out of a chicken's ass if they didn't know it was an egg (yes i know eggs don't come out of a chicken's ass but again i was not there so i don't know what the person was thinking).

Now there's a lot about the american judicial system that doesn't make sense to me but in the interest of time i will only address one question. So when you are sitting in the jury and the defense/prosecution says something that is "out of bounds" the judge will tell the jury to disregard the testimony or statement or whatever. Now, how can i disregard?? I am human. I can't unhear what i just heard, abi.  Especially if it was relevant. If im at Julio's murder trial and you tell me Julio killed 25 people when he was a teenager but that his record was sealed because he's a minor i can't just pretend i didn't hear that lol.

Why do law enforcement agents wear those uncomfortable looking uniforms and suits? Wouldn't it be easier for them to run down a suspect if they were wearing sweatpants and sneakers? I know i've tried running in heels and dress pants- it's never a good time

Reality TV
How can a show that is supposed to be "reality" have writers? *inspired by the season 3 premiere of Basketball Wives that I just watched*

So i read someone's comment the other day about being turned off by women with pubic hair. Let me say that far be it for me to tell you what you should or shouldn't like but um...there's something a bit troubling about a man who would rather see me look like a prepubescent girl in the ladybits area rather than a mature adult. closet pedophile. To be honest waxing (while supposedly giving you better results than shaving) seems like the most ridiculous thing in the world. Why would i want some random woman in the back room of the beauty parlor to attack my naughtybits with hot wax and a strip of cloth. I don't even like getting my eyebrows waxed so i can't even begin to imagine what waxing down below would be like. *my apologies if this was TMI for you*

Feel free to offer your own views on these (or any other) topics

Monday, May 30, 2011

Happy Monday

Its Memorial Day which means no work no school and straight up laziness for yours truly.  Ndo, Pele, Lo siento, Je suis desole, etc to those of you that don't have the day off! hahaha.

In keeping with my lazy spirit, i have been listenin to music for hours. Specifically, my future ex-husband Trey Songz. Sigh. This love affair has gone on since the first time i heard Gotta Make It back in like '04. I've been riding out with dude through I Gotta Make It, Trey Day, Anticipation (what ya'll know about that mixtape?!?), Ready (my personal favorite), and Passion, Pain & Pleasure. Ugh...i love this man. Whew. Sad how many people slept on him for so long. Glad he's finally getting his due.

I'm not just a commercial fan either. I swear, his mixtapes are even better than the studio albums. Such a versatile artist. The first time i heard him rap (a freestyle over Blame It by Jamie Foxx)...i was done for. So ladies and gents, here a lil collection of some of my fave Trey Songz...songs of the various mixtapes.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Since you're just dying to know...

Sisi Yemmie aaaaaaand Dith want to know what's in my purse so here goes...

*Disclaimer- i rarely ever carry a purse. On the average day I have my wrist-let (because its too much like normal to have a wallet) and a tote.

the tote is a promotional item lol and the wrist-let is Kathy Van Zeeland

So in my tote i carry:
My wrist-let
A folder with my practicum forms and paperwork
A folder with my Stetson paperwork
A bottle of water
My umbrella (florida weather is too unpredictable)
A notepad
A notebook
Paperwork from the Ob/Gyn
Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath

In my wrist-let i carry:
my piece of crap phone (Samsung Rogue)
a random hair tie
a highlighter (which i rarely if ever use. I normally have a pen and a pencil but i guess my purse ate them)
my travel drive/jump drive/thumb drive/whatever u wanna call it
my keys 
Color Concepts: charming lips lipgloss- ultra shiny. (the closest thing to make-up you'll ever see me wear)
Of course theres also my cash, credit/debit cards, student id cards, driver's license, value card for the grocery store, library card, AAA card, insurance card, and a international calling card which is supposed to be for Africa but for whatever reason i spend way more calling Nigeria than any other country using that card. 

Friday, May 27, 2011

Happy Birthday Saleha

Happy birthday to our fallen angel Saleha Huuda. May God grant your family and friends peace and serenity today while they try and get through the first birthday without you here.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

My Obsession

As i've said before-if there's nothing else im girly about, im definitely girly about my shoes. So since im bored and don't really have anything probative to share, i figured i'd give you guys a peek into LadyNgo's shoe collection :)

Sadly, this is barely even the tip of the iceberg when it comes to all the shoes i have. I really do have an addiction. But im getting better at keeping what lil money i do have in my wallet and not in the hands of the people at the shoe stores.

These are probably my favorite. Partially because they are so comfy but also because they only cost me like $5 lol

My "im going somewhere fancy and need to look like an adult" heels

back when pointy-toe shoes were just coming back in style

just  a pair of fly heels for hanging out at a bar/lounge- no dancing or at most, 2-stepping 

another pair of pointy-toes from when they were first making their comeback

usually only worn with my chocolate brown suit

i have these in gold too

my mom calls these my "pimpette/madame" shoes because of the red interior and the fur accents (you probably can't see it)

again, just some cutesy heels for hanging out

who doesn't have boots that come to at least your calf

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

one of the worst things you can do

is take advice from your friends!

Ok, ok. Maybe its not the worse thing you can do. But you gotta admit, taking your friends' advice isn't always the best idea. I remember when one of my sorority sister's got married, we were all sitting around at her bridal shower and towards the end of the evening, we went around the circle giving advice. When they got to me, my advice was- "don't listen to half the crap we're going to tell you" You can imagine how many side-eyes i got from that comment. My reasoning is not necessarily that your friends have bad intentions but that no one is walking in your moccasins and no one else has to live with the decisions you make. In this specific instance, all i can say is honestly- there's a reason why she was getting married and the rest of us are single lol. I'll be damned if im gonna take the advice of a single woman (especially if she has a sketchy relationship past) about fixing an issue in my marriage. And as a single person, the last thing i want to do is give someone advice about their husband/wife. Not only am i not walking in your shoes (or even similar shoes), I'm YOUR friend so by default i am going to be at least somewhat biased.

The reason i felt like writing about this is because I was reading a blog about romancing your man. I was reading it and something in me was asking...why are you reading this? Same thing i say to myself now about my Cosmo obsession lol. Anywho, so im reading this girl's post and it's like, why would i take advice about pleasing a man from a woman? Not to say what do you know about it, but honestly, what do you know about it??? LOL If I wanna know how to please my man, why wouldn't i ask a man for advice? Or better still, ask the man that im actually trying to please?!? Not to say that the stuff she said wasn't cute/interesting/etc but who's to say anyone likes what she's proposing (other than whomever she may have done it to)? Everyone is different and everyone has their own preferences.

So what's my point in all of this? Take the advice of others with a grain of salt. No one knows on this earth knows all (no matter how much they might pretend to). And even when there are no ill-intentions, things may not go the way

Disclaimer- I have nada against the good people at Max-Logic, just a simple difference of opinion. Also, your friends are a valuable asset and may offer good insight when you have a problem. But that still doesn't mean you should do everything that they tell you to.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Memoirs of a disgruntled rooommate

*Sorry i've been M.I.A but internet no dey for this new apartment at the moment. Should be back to my regular blogging habits tomorrow. Hope everyone had a good start to their week :)

If you read my previous post, you now know that I cannot stand having roommates. Since August of 2005 it has literally been one debacle after another having to share my living space with people. So sit back, relax, pop some popcorn and allow me to share my horrible, comical and utterly ridiculous stories with you.

Fall of 2005: a fresh faced college freshman named LadyNgo begins her new life 1200 miles away from home at the lovely University of South Florida. First issue was living in an all-girl dorm but that brought challenges that i can't even begin to get into now. Anyhow, at first my roommate was cool...but then she began to bring her bf over- eh, no problem, he seems like a nice guy. But then...sounds...yeah, you get the picture. Thats just not cool and i made no secret of the fact that if she was nasty enough to do the nasty in front of the person that sleeps literally 5 feet away, there were going to be problems. And thats how i ended up having the entire dorm room to myself for the rest of the semester

Spring 2006: My new roommate, a nice Australian girl enters with her parents. She was cool beans...until it was time for bed. She would put set the temperature at 50-something degrees and then climb into her bed with her 5 blankets. I only had a comforter and a top sheet...needless to say i was freezing and immediately turned the temp up to a NORMAL 74 degrees. Needless to say, our living arrangement didnt workout and eventually she switched rooms with a girl from Jamaica who took it upon herself to make my  life miserable as well. From lying to our RA about me breaking our roommate agreement to hovering over her hotplate cooking chicken in the dark at 2 in the morning. Sigh

Fall 2006-Spring 2007: I moved into a suite with my own damn bedroom so as to avoid this foolishness. But my suite-mate apparently had no friends and would literally wait by her door for me to come out of my room so she can try to tag along with me everywhere i went...from the laundry room to the dining hall to the student union...hell sometimes she'd even follow me into our bathroom. Thank goodness there were individual stalls.

Summer 2007- Fall 2007: I finally move off campus and into a very lovely apartment with 2 other nice girls whom i didn't know. Everything was great until one girl turned up pregnant and decided to sublease her apartment...

Spring 2008: The new girl was a freaking nightmare. I remember on one occasion i was asleep in my room with my bf (im a bad girl sometimes, i know lol), i had worked a double shift and he was coming home from working back to back doubles at both his jobs so sleep was a number one priority. So imagine my surprise when this girl and her drunk friends come to the apartment keeping up all kinds of noise. I don't know exactly what was going on all i know is i heard alot of noise, at one point some drunk man was banging on my bedroom door asking for Ashley.
This new girl (who's name i honestly dont think i ever knew) was the 1st one to move out when our lease was up and when she left so did several of my kitchen wares including my George Foreman grill. (>_<) I suppose my consolation was supposed to be that she left HER foreman grill behind...which was a major downgrade from the grill i had. I still have it though and make decent use of it lol

Summer 2008-Summer 2009: I moved into a 3 bedroom apartment with my sorority sister and one other girl. The third girl was nice enough. A lil "hood" but im a lil hood myself (so is my soror) so it was cool. DeJaVu...a month or two into our lease the girl gets pregnant and decides to move in with the babydaddy and sublease her room to her brother, a real big guy- had to have been at least 6'2 around 250lbs. This begins quite an interesting tale. Everyone in the apartment had a significant other, so at any given moment there were at least 6 people living in our apartment- no problem because everyone pretty much stayed in their rooms and my soror's bf could cook so that was always a plus lol. Anyhow...me and the "brother" had adjacent bedrooms which means we shared a wall. Lets just say this guy was an extremely sexually active young man with a very vocal partner...sigh. The worst of it was that our beds were along the same wall so whenever they got carried away and hit the wall (which i was usually leaning up against) i'd always feel so dirty and included in their romp. Quite disturbing.
To make matters even more interesting, i think this guy may have been um...bisexual. One night i remember the guy doing his thing with the girl and the girl left. My bedroom door was open because my significant other was over washing his clothes. I heard the front door open when he walked her downstairs. Then i heard the door open again and saw him come back in. Then i heard the door open a second time and another man walked in and went into homeboy's room and...sounds began to permeate through the walls. Mind you it is like 2 in the morning. yeeeeeah! I asked my guy if he had seen what i had seen and he said he wasn't paying attention and that he really didn't want/need to know homophobe! lol. I decided that maybe my mind was playing tricks on me so i just brushed it off. That is until one night a few weeks later. Me and my guy were in the common area watching a movie (the lights were off and the curtains were drawn so from outside im sure it looked like nobody was home) and the dude came in...with his male companion. Awkward!
*Just as an aside: I saw dude's room after everyone moved out. His mattress was DESTROYED! Even the boxspring was broken. No wonder i could hear him and his partner!! rough sex on deck!

Summer 2009-Summer 2010: I was the only person who renewed the lease so for a lil while i was in the apartment by myself...talk about amazing. A whole 3 bedroom apartment for lil old me. But that came crashing to an end midway through September when my two new roomies moved in and turns out these were girls that i had known for a few years. At first everything was cool...but then it wasn't. Now let me add this disclaimer- i love those girls, they are cool people but living with them was so not the business. Our apartment was always a hot mess...look like a tornado ran through it. There were always people over, (why they could never go to their friends houses i will never know). And our kitchen...don't even get me started. Days would go by without the dishes being washed to the point where there would literally be too many dishes in the sink to even be able to wash them. Trash would just pile up and pile up until they could convince someone to take it out. It was just crazy. I had a mini fridge and a microwave in my room and there were times where i'd literally only east fast food or food you can make in the microwave just to avoid having to go in the kitchen. Let me say, that i am a slob in my own right. If you look at my room right now you can barely see the floor from all the clothes, shoes, textbooks, purses, etc but i am a closet slob. My mess is confined to my bedroom. My cure for being a slob is the shame/embarrassment of having other people see that im a slob lol.

August 2010- December 2010: I moved into my first apartment without any roommate and it was such a wonderful experience. Arranging my things the way i wanted, not having to worried about who was using my things or eating my food, playing my music as loud as i wanted, walking around naked as the day i was born if i want to (was that TMI? Sorry lol) Unfortunately, when i changed schools i had to move out and ended up back home with Mom and Dad and younger brother.

That dear readers, is why i do not ever want to live with other people (besides a spouse and children if i feel up to the challenge) again.

Friday, May 20, 2011

More random observations of the week

Ok this ^^^ has absolutely nothing to do with the post. I just like the song. Duncan Mighty is next in line after Flavour as one of my fav artists. (-__-) @ the video though lol

Anywho, so the 1st topic today is tipping (inspired by kitkat).

Now, i know the struggle. Waitresses make like $5/hour and thats before taxes. So they rely on tips to survive. But even knowing that, i am still probably one of the worst tippers in the world lol. I am the queen of the $2 tip regardless of whether or not $2 meets the standard 15%. My mindset is definitely why am I paying you to do your job- especially if you're not even doing your job well. And believe me, if the service sucks, you will get a spare change tip (as in, if my bill came to $12.52, you will get 48 cents to make it an even $13).

Why should i give a (good) tip if:
  • The service was not above/beyond
  • The service was downright bad
  • I don't feel like it lol (not nice, i know)
  • The person was bold enough to open their mouth (or hand) in expectation of a tip
  • You are trying to nickel-and-dime me
Examples of nickel-and-dime scam:
Including the tip on your bill if you have 6+ people in your group at a restaurant. Then have the nerve to remind you to "tip your server" again on top of the one they are already making you pay. GTFOHWTBS.
Being charged a "delivery fee" (sometimes in addition to having a minimum order amount) when you order food. I've always assumed that it went to the delivery driver but apparently not as they also say "don't forget to tip your driver". 

Next topic:  Im am the anti-roommate
In the spirit of me moving into my new (temporary) place this weekend, i feel the need to share that i am the worst roommate you could possibly have- in terms of socializing. I'll go into all of this in greater detail in my next post. But yeah, i am the type of person that believes in staying in your room unless its absolutely necessary for you to be in the common area of the apartment lol. My mom thinks im a psycho but i know a lot of people that agree with me. Unfortunately none of them have ever been my roommates. To me there are only 3 reasons why anyone should ever be in the common area of the apartment. They are:
  • You are leaving the apartment and don't feel like being a ninja and climbing out of your bedroom window
  • You are making food/washing your dishes
  • You have company and your room is not big enough to accommodate all of them 
Thats it. If you aren't doing one of the above, then you need to stay in your damn room! Also, i am anti-sharing lol. If i have a pot and you have a pot- why the hell are you using my pot??? And you didn't even ask first or wash it after? pschew, you are definitely asking for my trouble. (x_x)

Final topic before i get ready for my morning commute: Doing What You Love
The one thing I'm enjoying most about this practicum im doing (and my field in general) is how cheerful and happy everyone is. Even the people that look mean/intimidating are a laugh riot lol. Never in my wildest dreams did i think that I would want to work in Higher Education, but yet here I am (well, im still a student but you know what i mean). From my ridiculously unrealistic dreams as a child of being a marine biologist (i can't swim and i hate animals) or a biochemist (chemistry was probably my worst science subject ever) to being certain that i was going to be a guidance counselor and even starting a counselor education master's program (i do not like kids- what on earth was i thinking). This whole Higher Ed thing just kind of fell in my lap and im so glad i had the courage.gumption to pursue it (i didn't even know this career field really existed and was something you could go to school for up until literally a month before i applied for my current grad program) because despite the hard work i really am loving every bit of what im learning and doing :)

Have a good weekend everyone :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Hello Summer

Thanks for all the comments on the last post. And Welcome to all the first-time commenters and new followers *waves hello* I wanna close out my rant on the discussion by saying that I am an advocate of making your own way, especially as a woman in a society such as our own Naija. I don't think that as an adult, man or woman, that anyone should be dependent on another person if it is within their means. Thats why we have the issue of "i don't want to be with him but i can't survive/care for my children without him" And I agree with Prism and Ibhade's points regarding where women stand in Nigeria but to that i gotta say that it will be an ICE COLD DAY IN HELL before men the powers that be collectively come together to work to make life better/easier for women because as it stands, they benefit greatly from the immobilization and social stratification of women. Like my homeboy Gandhi said, "Be the change that you wish to see in the world" Our situation will never improve unless we make the movements to do so (and that applies to all social issues). I know its easier said than done, especially since it involves changing mindsets, but it is what it is. And that, dear friends is why Lady Ngo is a feminist! lol

But anyway enough of that talk: make we jolly

Now that we're in a more jovial spirit, lets gist about something more interesting.

My summer semester has started and ugh, school sucks lol. Im only taking two courses this summer and doing my practicum but sheesh. Plenty of work. In preparation for my first class i had to read the ethical codes for the two major professional societies in my field, the first 32 pages of my ethics book- not bad. and the first 60 pages in my Law of Higher Education book- a complete nightmare. I have a newfound respect for those people who take an interest in studying law because having to read that nonsense was PAINFUL. Someone please pass me paracetamol!

Today was the first day of my practicum as well. Do you know these people have the nerve to assign homework- as if they are not already getting my free labor all summer, they now want to give me assignment on top of my other assignments. -__-
I kid i kid, i joke i joke! I'm actually looking forward to the experience. Everyone in the office is very nice. My supervisor is so cute with her lil southern accent that she tries so hide but it sneaks out when she gets relaxed lol. Not to mention that they are providing me with housing so i don't have to make the 45 minute drive every morning (which i wouldn't mind doing if i were getting paid. Gas is too expensive o!) and i have my own lil desk (and hopefully will have my own office in the next few weeks). All in all, i deem this situation a win!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

What are you people thinking?!?

So I was over at Linda Ikeji's Blog yesterday and I swear, never before has there been a time where i've so wanted to throw my laptop out of the window. Kai! For those who don't feel like reading the whole gist, i will summarize her post:
Basically a woman's husband of about 1 year has impregnated another woman. The wife sef also get belle for the husband. Both the children are but months apart from each other, with the wife's child being the oldest. The wife now wants to know what she should do.
Now, im not upset by the post, it is the comments that had me seeing red. Personally i commented that I wouldn't/couldn't stay with a man that cheated on me but that this lady needs to think it through very well and make up her own mind because she is the one who knows the situation and will have to live with the choices and outcomes (i think that last line was inspired by a-9ja-great's post lol). So of course as this is my stance i have a bit of a bias.

But OMG, those comments o (even as i type this, ppl are still commenting)! Is this not 2011? What are some of these people thinking? Let me give some small examples:

1. She should stay with the man because if not she'll have to deal with being a single mother, she won't have anything, no one will respect/marry her, think about how this will affect your children, blah blah blah
Are you mad??? Unless this woman is 100% financially dependent on the man, what other reason is there for her to stay? Being a single mother is only a horrendous thing because society paints it as such that a woman has little to no worth if she is not in one way or another attached to a man and make matters extremely difficult for a woman to make moves without a man. I lived in a one parent home for some time. I saw my mother struggle to raise me and my sister when my dad left with little to no support as both my grandparents had died when my mom was pregnant with me. But she made it work and we are house of well adjusted, hard-working, and morally upright (or at least i like to think so) individuals. Not to mention that she is now happily married to my stepdad and they just celebrated their 16th wedding anniversary last month. So phooey on the misguided notion that a divorced woman is damaged goods. Im not saying being a single parent is ideal or easy but to me it beats the alternative of allowing my children to see me constantly upset and being disrespected by my husband and subsequently thinking that kind of thing is ok/acceptable.
2. She should try and save her marriage and win back her husband.Think about your wedding vows/oaths.
Again, are you mad??? Why should the wife be trying to win back the cheating husband? He is the one that broke the vows and stepped outside of their marriage. Should it not be him that should be trying to win her back??? See this foolish world we live in. Utter rubbish. And as for those vows- if he cannot honor them, why should i (religious obligations aside)?
3. If you leave, then he will invite the mistress into the house and she will be reaping the benefits of marriage. 
Ha! If that is what the woman wants- a lying, cheating, philandering husband, then good for her! The cane that is used to beat the first wife will be used to beat the second wife, as the saying goes. How can i be jealous of a woman who will now most likely go through the same heartache and drama that i went through? True, it is possible that the man will marry this woman and never ever cheat on her and they have a long blissful life together, but in the unlikely instance that something like that will happen, none of that will change the fact that he has already cheated on me- and produced another baby that is nearly the same age as my own to add insult to injury.
4. You should stay and treat your marriage like a contract. Don't rely on him for love and happiness. Just treat him like he's your brother. Cook/clean/keep house for him and find your own happiness elsewhere.
Cock and Bull of the highest caliber! If you can do that, then you are a better human being than me sister!! I can't fathom cooking, cleaning, and washing the dirty undies of a man that would be making me sick to my stomach. Why should i sit here and be unhappy when i could be happy somewhere (and with somebody) else? And even if happiness no dey, im no worse off being on my own than i would be if i stayed with this man that i now despise.
*The thing that really pisses me off the most is that if the shoe were on the other foot and it was the wife that was cheating and got pregnant by her lover there would be no sympathy for her from men or women and the responses would surely be of the kick her ass to the curb mentality rather than begging the man to save the marriage* 
As im sure you can tell by now i have little to no tolerance for cheating. Im not saying every relationship/marriage should end because your spouse is unfaithful. Im only speaking for myself in that i don't feel that i can stay with someone who has cheated on me. If any other person can deal with it, then God bless them but i am not a woman built for that kind of thing at all. I pray i never have to go through such in my matrimonial home. In my own mind, there is just no reason for cheating. If you know you cannot commit to one woman (or man, because women cheat too), why bother getting married? If your partner is not pleasing you in bed, why not just instruct them on what they should be doing to make you happy? If your spouse has done something to upset you, why is the solution to go chase skirts (or trousers for the womenfolk) in the street or look for a replacement wife when you can just as easily sit down and talk about what it is that your partner is doing that is pushing you away from them?

Another thing i just don't understand is people who say it was an accident, a mistake. Which kind accident?
When you started talking up this person, did your mind not tell you that you had a spouse at home?
When you took this person's number/bbm pin/etc, did your mind not tell you that you had a spouse at home?
When you invited them out to dinner/for drinks/etc, did your mind not tell you that you had a spouse at home?
When you decided to go back to their place/your place/the hotel, did your mind not tell you that you had a spouse at home?
When you were kissing and caressing that person, did your mind not tell you that you had a spouse at home?
When you were undressing/being undressed by the person, did your mind not tell you that you had a spouse at home?
When you (God willing) opened that condom wrapper (or hell, when you went to where ever and bought that condom), did your mind not tell you that you had a spouse at home?
When you went in for the kill and were tumbling around in that bed did your mind not tell you that you had a spouse at home???

See, there are just way too many opportunities for you to take responsibility and end the thing for me to ever treat infidelity as a mistake or an accident. I better never hear such or i may just go into my kitchen and grab the butcher knife!
Man, i could write a whole book on the issue lol.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Tales of Intuition and Paranoia

There is nothing in this world that a woman can't sniff out. No lie, transgression, or misdeed can hide from a woman on a mission to find out the truth. And its all thanks to that lil thing we call "Intuition". Its a mighty powerful thing. It can turn an ordinary woman into Sherlock Holmes. No matter how well you think you are coding your behavior/actions, intuition can sniff out your nonsense very easily. One experience of mine that always come to mind is the following:
I was dating talking to this guy a year or two ago. Nice kid, working, had his own place, funny...seemed like a pretty good guy. Everything was going fine, we enjoyed spending time together whether going out or just sitting at home watching tv. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. But one day while we were hanging out, this lil light bulb went off in my head. Something wasn't right. I ignored it at first. The guy had given no signs that anything was amiss. There were no "strange phone calls", no odd or off-putting behavior, nothing. But the feeling just would not go away. So i did some small snooping and yup...everything that glittered definitely was not gold.
Absolutely no provocation, no evidence of foul play yet with literally 5 minutes of investigation it was all laid out in front of me- just from listening to that nagging little voice in my head that said uh-uh, something is wrong here. Tread lightly!


Now having said that, there is a very thin line between intuition and paranoia. Trust me, my toe has found its way to that line several times over this my short life. Intuition will have you asking questions and shinning your eye very well. Paranoia will have you checking your man's cell phone, credit card receipts, hacking into his facebook and doing spot check to make sure he came home wearing the same underwear that he left the house wearing in the morning (i kid you not- though i personally have never gone THAT far) just because he came home 5 minutes late, or took too long to reply your text message.
Your boyfriend/fiance/husband (whichever you are more comfortable with for this scenario) leaves for work at the usual time. He calls you around 2pm to say he is staying late. He finally shows up at around midnight. Intuition tells you that something may be wrong and you should ask some subtle yet leading questions. Paranoia tells you to throw hot grits on him as he walks through the door because he was obviously out screwing his secretary!
I must say that paranoia is not always negative. Paranoia can also lead to delusions of grandeur. Example:
Your man leaves the house to go "hang out with the fellas" and play some basketball at around 11am. He tells you he'll be back in a couple of hours after he's done hoopin' with his boys. You have been trying to call him all day but to no avail. He comes home at about 2am, smelling like cucumber melon soap and has a pink smudge on the collar of his shirt. Your intuition tells you this nigga must be crazy. "hanging out with the fellas" my ass! Your paranoid delusions of grandeur will have you thinking you are Beyonce and singing:  My ego so big i must admit, i got every reason to feel like im that bitch! so he couldn't possibly be fooling around
My message: trust your intuition! 9 times out of 10 it will steer you in the right direction. If your gut (or that lil voice- however your intuition manifests itself) is telling you that something isn't right, it probably isn't! But, do not let your intuition jump to paranoia. I know it is not a very big leap so its very easy to allow your thoughts to get you carried away. Unless you find yourself in immediate danger, it is best to be subtle in trying to find out what you want to know. You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar (though i don't know why you would want to catch flies in the first place).

Happy Monday all!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Don't Wake Me, I'm Dreaming!

Man blogger has been going crazy the past day or so. I know they say they are fixing the issue but i will land someone a very hot slap if they don't return my "sexxxy well-dressed man" post!!! Nonsense!

Anywho, i can't even write about what i wanted to write about anymore because i'm now over the topic lol. So my new topic is real estate...

A friend of mine was linked to this vid on facebook and curiosity struck me so i watched and my eyes nearly fell out of my head. Talk about some beautiful, innovative architecture. I've always had this vision of my nice big house on Victoria Island (Banana Island if we're really ballin' lol) but i could never have envisioned anything like this. I even went to check out their website and was even more blown away. Sigh. Where is my winning lotto ticket when i need it??? Guess i'll just have to stick to hard work and dreaming for now.

I don't think i ever mentioned how i did for spring semester. Well i got two A's and an A-. Not happy about that A- but my mum told me to stop complaining so i will accept it and try for that perfect 4.0 this summer. *Does a little happy dance*

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Fashion Frenzy

I've never understood fashion, high fashion, couture, people who think they are trendy/stylish/fashionistas, etc.

When i was a lil kid i would always flip through the Ebony, Essence, Jet, etc magazines that my mom subscribed too. Since i was a kid of course i wasn't reading the stories lol, i was just looking at the pretty pictures. Without fail, month after month, I would flip to the fashion section and be extremely confused.
where the hell are you going...
wearing this ridiculous looking...


Like honesty- what situation would warrant wearing such foolishness? Why would you even create something that looks like this? I don't understand it and i never ever will. It used to scare me because as i child i thought that this is how adults dressed when they went "out" and i couldn't imagine have to put this frightening clothes on when i grew up (o_O)

Now a days we've been hit with this whole "im such a fashionista, im so trendy, look at me look at me" phenomena. Everyone thinks their ridiculous outfit is all the rage. If Christian Louboutin designed the shoe it must be amazing. If XYZ celebrity is wearing this i must also get my own version of the outfit. Never mind how much of a hot mess people look. As long as they've seen it on a celebrity/runway/magazine, it must be to die for. 
Abeg. whatever happened to be simple and sexy?!? I am far more impressed by someone who looks like a million bucks dressed like this: 

Rather than someone who thinks they are the hottest thing since sliced bread dressed like this:
courtesy of 360nobs.com

 Honestly- where are you going dressed like ^^^ that? And who determined that this is cute??? Whats even worse is people who come out of the house with their wacky "i look like im late for my 9-to-5 at the circus" multi-colored outfit and then have the nerve to pair it with a neutral handbag...you already look like a giant bag of skittles, why now are we trying to tone it down with the handbag? 

courtesy of 360nobs.com
Im all for spicing up ur wardrobe and/or throwing some color into your outfit like that ---->
because all-black-everything can be a bit boring. But come on, we've got to draw the line somewhere.

Im a very plain jane. You are far more likely to see me out in a cute top cute jeans and cute heels rather than some off-the-wall, "one of kind" out of this world lookin frock. I'll take a maxi dress and some nice sandals over the couture nonsense any day. But thats just me.

Monday, May 9, 2011

And i'm back

Hello all. As u can see im back to blogsville. I wanna thank all of you that left the kind words on the previous post. While i was gone, i did keep reading your blogs every couple of days and I gotta say God was speaking to me through some of your posts (cuz me and Him are cool like that lol) and man is it much appreciated :)

Anywho, So let me tell you all about this past weekend. Extremely eventful. I went to Tampa for my friends's graduations. I realized that there were over 30 people that i knew that graduated. Crazy.

Thursday, May 5th:
  • Woke up like 4 hours later than planned and and spent majority of midday trying to pack and get myself together for the 2hr drive back to the Bay
  • Arrived too late to see the 1st grad ceremony so i watched it on line while i waited for the 2nd ceremony to begin (which i also watched online)
  • Went out to dinner for one of my friends that graduated. Good times were had all around as i hadn't seen most of these people since December
  • Mini photo shoot after dinner (these people are obsessed with pictures lol)
Friday, May 6th:
  • Woke up bright and early for no apparent reason.
  • Got a very pleasant email from some1 special which caused me to do a mini "happy dance" around my hotel room lol
  • Went to my alma mater to do some printing and ran into a couple of old friends there as well
  • While still on campus, ran past the university bookstore and bought some stuff for my Mommy for Mother's Day since she is still complaining that i have never gotten her anything from my school
  • Since i don't have a parking decal, I had to "pay to park" which i didn't do cuz i've given this place enough of my money from 2005 to 2009. I arrived back at my car as soon as the meter maid pulled up and started writing tickets. #winning
  • Went to the local mall...its been a while since i've been there and with good reason. I've never seen such a collection of ratchetness in all my days. So sad.
  • Went and got my oil changed. As is par for the course, the mechanic was fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine! lol
  • Picked up my bestie and spent a few hours catching up
  • Ran into a friend/former co-worker at ColdStone Creamery
  • Saw this man who's dreads were so long that he had them tucked into his back pocket (o_0)
Saturday May 7th:
  • Spent practically the whole day chillin
  • Realized that my nail polish had chipped and decided to go out to the coolest looking Target i've ever seen to get some nail polish.
  • Got back to the hotel and realized that i didn't really wanna go out that night to my friend's grad party. Spent the next 2 hours deciding whether or not i was actually going to go out.
  • In the midst of me making up my mind about going out, i get a message from this guy- complete nonsense. Asking me if i want him to "come over and spend the night" ARE YOU MAD?!? Why would i want u to do that??? Boys these days- you say howdy-do and all of sudden they expect they can just jump into ur bed. My goodness.
  • Eventually decided to go the party:
so i got dressed...
threw on the 6 inch heels (if im not girly about anything else, im definitely girly about shoes)

Only to go outside and see that some bastard hit my car!

and they didn't even leave a "my bad" note
  • So upon seeing this i go into full overly dramatic igbo woman frenzy complete with throwing my hands up over my head shouting phrases such as "chai" "chineke mei" and of course "chi'm ebuo'm". Then went into my overly dramatic ghetto black girl routine of shouting, cursing, and shaking my head- but then some unsavory characters pulled up next to my car and began what appeared to be a drug deal so i quietly got into my car and drove away before something much worse than dings and scratches on the car could occur.
  • After that whole scene, i was determined to have a damn good time that night...which i did. I love African parties (the young lady throwing the party is Ghanaian)...except that the parents never want to leave so you spend the majority of the night trying to be on your best behavior (or what we consider "best behavior" for a party lol) until they leave (which never completely happens anyway).
  • I swear i saw Nkem Owoh's Ghanaian twin brother at that party!
  • Saw a lot of new and old faces that night. Had a lot (and i do mean a lot) of laughs, especially off of my drunk friends who never fail when it comes to entertaining lol. These are the times when i truly miss living in Tampa BUT it is what it is.
  • After the party i ran to McDonalds (i didn't eat at the party- don't ask me why. I should have!) and went back to the hotel, ate, showered up then spent the rest of the night not being able to sleep -_-
Sunday May 8th:
  • Did not fall asleep until 7:30am- and had to be out of the hotel by 11am. Ridiculous!
  • Checked out of the hotel. While doing so, i talked to the lady at the desk about what happened to my car. All she said was "damn, thats messed up" -___-
  • Was supposed to have had brunch with my friend but unfortunately we weren't able to link up in time so i just decided to hit the road.
  • As i was struggling to get myself out of the hotel these lil hooligans just sat there and allowed me to struggle. No "let me get the door for you" or "let me help u with that ma'am". Nada. Just looked at me like i had 2 heads and kept walking. Youngsters nowadays. smh
  • When i got home (and after taking a much needed nap) i went out to the pizza place near my house. And this lil kid came up to me and said "What time is it". No "excuse me" or "pardon me" or anything. Just walked up to me as if i knew her or i was her mate or something and said "what time is it" WTH?!? I swear i don't understand kids these days.
All in all i had a fabulous time this weekend. I even seriously contemplated moving back to Tampa (Im not gonna do that most likely, but its fun to dream). Hope you all had a lovely weekend as well and for all the Mommy's out there: (belated) Happy Mother's Day

P.S. Thanks Surprise for the blog award :)