Please ignore my rambling...i tried to create some sort of method to the madness here as best as i could lol
So the tale as old as time is that a virgin is more desirable, worthy, coveted, *insert adjective here* when a man is looking for a bride (since we've been socialized to believe that while women are supposed to be chaste and keep themselves, men are allowed to be slores. To which i reply- then who are they supposed be slutting it up with? But thats a whole other story).
Do you agree? Fellas, if somehow you were granted some kind of mystical power to make your potential bride to be a virgin, would you use it? Why or why not?
I'll keep it 100 and say that if my future hubby is interested in marrying a virgin, he missed the boat. Sorry future boo! Do i regret that or feel some kind of way about that? Sometimes i do, but most times i don't. Its life and what has happened, has happened *Kanye shrug*
With that being said, I do see the value in having something special that your hubby can say (to himself cuz there's no need to talk about our bedroom mambo to the world) only he has gotten from you. But shouldn't that be you're undying love and commitment? Shouldn't that be the vow you took before God to love, honor, cherish *insert verb here* for the rest of your lives?
So why so much emphasis on a woman's virginity status? Why do some men get stars in their eyes when they hear a girl still has her V-Card? And how do we even define virginity? How can you even tell a woman is a virgin? Because trust me, blood on the bedsheets (or lack thereof) the first night is not proof. A woman can tear her hymen at any point in life (exercising, playing sports, being involved in an accident, etc). Similarly, one can undergo hymenoplasty and you won't be any the wiser. Tightness isn't proof either because the va-jay-jay contains elastin- it stretches and contracts. So unless your mate has had a baby or has been engaging in some SERIOUSLY deviant behavior, this is not a valid assessment either.
So again, i do feel like there are special things that only a husband and wife should share, even on the most basic levels. I know and i've made it quite clear to the people i've dated in the past that there are things (in and out of the bedroom) that i only plan on doing with my husband. Ever heard the expression "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? Yeah, i fully subscribe to that notion. For example, i've seen chicks (even as young as high school age) that completely cater to their boyfriends- cooking their meals, cleaning their apartments, doing their laundry, etc. so much so that (some) guys have come to expect it. WTF? It couldn't be me, and i'm a grown ass woman! Yeah i might make you dinner every once in a while or possibly help you out domestically but come on now. Thats not going to be a regular occurrence at the boyfriend/girlfriend stage! I'm not your mama, your wife, your maid or your slave so why would i be doing these things?
Man i could go on and on with this topic but its nearly 6pm and i havent eaten anything all day lol. So with that i bid you, dear readers, adieu! Have a lovely weekend everyone :)