Saturday, March 26, 2011

Modern Housewife

I actually started writing this like a month ago and never got around to finishing and posting it.

***Im only speaking/ranting hypothetically. I'm not married and have no clue what it would really be like dealing with these issues.
***I don't believe all men treating their spouses as such, again, im just ranting hypothetically :)

So i was having a discussion with a guy friend of mine about life goals, long-term relationships, etc. So this guy is telling me about his ambitions and eventually we lead off to him not wanting his wife to work. o_O <--thats the face i made

Now, i can only speak for me but HAYLE NAW i can't be a housewife! Or at least not right away. If nothing else, I've spent waaaaaay too much freakin money pursuing this education to just be sittin at home all day Honestly, if you knew how much student loan debt i have it would make your head spin. Aside from that, i don't want to be financially dependent on my (or any) man. God forbid things go sour in the marriage and the guy go ask for divorce, im going to be broke and penniless, with lil to no work experience in my field which will only perpetuate the financial destitution.

Aside from the money- I want to feel fulfilled and I don't think i can do that sitting in the house all day. Don't get me wrong, I know that being a housewife- especially when there are children involved- is no easy feat. But honestly, I think that if all i had to look forward to everyday was cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids, I'd be hellaciously resentful. Which wont be good for anybody.

Now this further leads the discussion to what a woman/wife's role should be. Im already rolling my eyes here. But i will try and keep my extreme feminism to a minimum here lol. Really though, i am comfortable with "traditional" roles of the man being the provider and the woman taking care of the home. It is what it is. But there are definitely some exceptions here that come with living in this 21st century.

For one, expecting dinner to be hot and ready on the table when you get home from work at 5pm and i don't get home from work until 6pm! Im not freakin houdini here. I dont see why a man can't assist with the cooking and cleaning every now and again. Especially if its an inconvenience to me to be doing it. I've had previous friends/boyfriends that can really burn in the kitchen but have outright refused to do so once they get married. Their logic is "why should i?" My response is: "You wanna eat don't you?!?" lol

Another thing is lack of appreciation. Appreciation for cooking the food, keeping the house, raising the children, loving you down whenever (that one is for me too though lol), etc. Im not a slave and therefore don't HAVE to do any of these things. I would be doing them out of love and devotion to you. A lil appreciation can go a long way o!

Theres many other things i can touch on but i'll stop there for now.


  1. From your mouth to God's ears!!! Especially on the appreciation count. On day after a long trip, the boyfrnd YY said he was hungry..:-o...Duh!!! "why didnt you let us stop by somewhere and get food?". Anyway, I decided to warm this bowl of rice his sister had given me, as tired as I was. And after bringing it to him in the room, he said "ahnahn, you didnt even make this palatable!"
    Pala what? At about 11pm after being on the road all day?! mcheewww
    I just dropped the plate on the floor and hit the bed. He spent the next 2 days apologizing and an eternity being reminded of that incident which could have been averted with a simple even if fake "thank you"1

  2. i dnt wnt to be a housewife!,lol. on the flip side, i dnt wnt to be completely immersed in my career that i wont even have time for my kids and husband. Even though i'm studying law, the plan is to work for a while, then start a full time career as a writer so i'll have more time for family.

  3. We are in a modern world. No man will want to marry a 'liability', i.e. a woman who will depend on him for virtually everything from buying of lingerie to paying of bills etc. A modern day man wants to marry a professional, somebody who will complement his effort. Take my family for instance, I am professional, my wife is a professional, we have 3 kids. Instead of asking my wife to sit at home and tend the children, what I did was to employ a housemaid who will take care of the children and the home while we are away at our different offices.

    On the issue of cooking for the man, most men prefer to eat food prepared by their wives. But if the circumstances will not allow that, then a housemaid can prepare the food when you are both away. But on weekends when you are both available then the wife MUST prepare the food while the husband complements. Again take my case for instance, on weekends while my wife prepare our food I complement her effort by 'stealing' some of the meats in the kitchen. LOl

    By and large these issues have to be discussed at the initial stage rather than it becoming an issue after marriage.

  4. Though as a housewife for a decade now, I WOULD NEVER ADVISE ANYBODY TO BE ONE! IT JUST DON'T WORTH THE STRESS & INSULT FROM BOTH FAMILIES, FRIENDS & NEIGHBOURS! Is ONLY the kids that appreciate it, but when they grow older, would they like to see me stay at home all day & poke nose into their business? HELL NO! infact they might secretly come to 'dislike' me. Nevertheless, the ONLY advantage of being a housewife is to be there to groom & watch them grow up before letting them fly off the nest. I don't like many bad tales trailing them....i am grooming my daughters to take care of their younger ones & cook & clean the home..until i am confident enough to leave them all alone & seek an income for myself.

    An interesting post..weldone.

  5. Nice encouragement, Ibhade!
    My Sis once asked me this 'would you like to be a housewife' question, and I said no very emphatically, altho I couldn't really give my reasons why at the time. I just said, 'after all my efforts in school?? Ai I would have just jisted and socialized like some other ladies I used to observe' :) The money I could make is good, so is the freedom from tyrannical husband (tho I will not be married to such (kneels and prays to God) lol.

    So sorry about the job interview stress. It is well!


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