Thursday, March 31, 2011

And this is why ppl need to learn to communicate effectively

I don't know whether or not this is actually true but daaaaaaaaaaaamn man. Communication is definitely key! I don't even understand how something like this could happen (well, i do a little bit but damn).

Monday, March 28, 2011

what to do, what to do???

Scenario: Susie and Bob have been dating seriously for a couple of months and have gotten very close, sharing their goals and life plans, even talking about marriage and starting a family. Unfortunately Susie and Bob do not have the same plans in mind. Susie wants to stay in London and pursue her career while Bob wants to return to his native country to pursue his career. For the sake of argument lets say that they are both guaranteed a fulfilling and well paying jobs in the countries they want to work in. Neither of them want to give up their future plans but both want to find a way to make their relationship work.

What would you do in this situation?

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Modern Housewife

I actually started writing this like a month ago and never got around to finishing and posting it.

***Im only speaking/ranting hypothetically. I'm not married and have no clue what it would really be like dealing with these issues.
***I don't believe all men treating their spouses as such, again, im just ranting hypothetically :)

So i was having a discussion with a guy friend of mine about life goals, long-term relationships, etc. So this guy is telling me about his ambitions and eventually we lead off to him not wanting his wife to work. o_O <--thats the face i made

Now, i can only speak for me but HAYLE NAW i can't be a housewife! Or at least not right away. If nothing else, I've spent waaaaaay too much freakin money pursuing this education to just be sittin at home all day Honestly, if you knew how much student loan debt i have it would make your head spin. Aside from that, i don't want to be financially dependent on my (or any) man. God forbid things go sour in the marriage and the guy go ask for divorce, im going to be broke and penniless, with lil to no work experience in my field which will only perpetuate the financial destitution.

Aside from the money- I want to feel fulfilled and I don't think i can do that sitting in the house all day. Don't get me wrong, I know that being a housewife- especially when there are children involved- is no easy feat. But honestly, I think that if all i had to look forward to everyday was cooking and cleaning and taking care of the kids, I'd be hellaciously resentful. Which wont be good for anybody.

Now this further leads the discussion to what a woman/wife's role should be. Im already rolling my eyes here. But i will try and keep my extreme feminism to a minimum here lol. Really though, i am comfortable with "traditional" roles of the man being the provider and the woman taking care of the home. It is what it is. But there are definitely some exceptions here that come with living in this 21st century.

For one, expecting dinner to be hot and ready on the table when you get home from work at 5pm and i don't get home from work until 6pm! Im not freakin houdini here. I dont see why a man can't assist with the cooking and cleaning every now and again. Especially if its an inconvenience to me to be doing it. I've had previous friends/boyfriends that can really burn in the kitchen but have outright refused to do so once they get married. Their logic is "why should i?" My response is: "You wanna eat don't you?!?" lol

Another thing is lack of appreciation. Appreciation for cooking the food, keeping the house, raising the children, loving you down whenever (that one is for me too though lol), etc. Im not a slave and therefore don't HAVE to do any of these things. I would be doing them out of love and devotion to you. A lil appreciation can go a long way o!

Theres many other things i can touch on but i'll stop there for now.

Midterms, Fights, Cute Babies and Racist Rants

So a couple of weeks ago I took my midterm exam in Theories of Student Development. I had carpal tunnel by the end of the exam. By the time i got to short paper #4 (cuz these things do not qualify as "essays") My hand felt like it was going to fall off, my brain felt like it was about to explode, and I had no idea what i was even writing about anymore much less if it would actually turn out to be coherent thoughts. Anywho, thursday I got my exam back...38/40! Talk about winning. So i have an A in the course so far :)

In a follow up to my Nonsense in the News post there is yet another tale of a fast food customer loosing their freaking mind. The Smoking Gun reports on a BK Brawler. A 31 year old mother of 4 on spring break (why the hell is this grown ass woman on spring break in the first place- and her children came with her no less) in Panama City FL was arrested for assaulting several Burger King employees because her order took 20 minutes to be given to her and because the employees were not "friendly" (really, how friendly can you be working at Burger King in the middle of a Spring Break party town). Some quotes from this lovely woman include:

  • “We tore the Burger King up, I don’t play no games.”
  •  “When I walked in they had no smiles on their faces. We weren’t treated fairly."
  • “If I knew what was gonna happen, I would’ve gone to Taco Bell.
Oh and did i mention that the only reason she was at BK in the first place was because she planned on gettin trashed and needed to "get something in her stomach". Thank you ma'am for setting our race back 400 years with your coonery!

Random- this is the cutest thing ever lol. Babies are so cute and fun...until they start screamin and poopin and all that jazz

So i don't know how many of you have heard about this "Asians in the Library" issue. But the jist of the story is some caucasian girl made a youtube vid talking about the asians students at her university (UCLA) and how they are always on the phone in the library and how rude that is and how their parents need to teach them manners and blah blah blah. Ok i will admit that i didn't pay too much attention to it at first but then ppl starting going all ape-s#it over it so i decided to watch and find out what she said.
Hmmm...maybe its just because as a black woman (an african woman at that) and i've heard waaaaaaaaaaaay worse comments about my own people (african-american, nigerian, and african alike) on a daily basis, that i don't really see what the big deal is. Yes it was stupid, and yes it is slightly offensive but really. Come on now. Like i said, i've heard much worse things said about black people (we're pimps, theives, murders, idiots, monkeys, etc), africans as a whole (we are stupid, all we do is kill each other, we live in huts, swing from trees, and roam the bush with our pet elephants and lions) and nigerians (419- need i say more). So i find it hard to feel bad here. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person lol.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Nonsense in the news
The first time i read about this story, i was so hoping the guy wasn't much for that! In short, this man goes to Taco Bell to get his favorite Beefy Crunch Burrito only to find that the price has increased 50 cents from .99 to $1.49. Chaos ensues, shots are fired, chase is given and 4+ hour standoff with SWAT occurs! My friends, your fast food consumption should never be that serious! (Funny enough, I'm going to Taco Bell in a lil while lol. Check for me on the news if my Chicken Grilled Taquitos have gone up in price)
Poor Chris Brown. I wish people would just leave him alone. Even though i'll admit his reaction was a lil over the top, that lady shouldn't have been provoking him (not excusing it, im just saying!). If the interview was supposed to be about F.A.M.E, then ask him about F.A.M.E. I don't see why people have to continually bring up the whole Rihanna incident. And to be honest, I personally am not that mad at Chris Brown over it because first of all its none of my business lol and second, (even though i don't condone a man ever hitting a woman) if you are gonna get bold and brazen with a man you need to prepared to be dealt with like a man. Take that however you like. But anywho, you will see that most of the people commenting on the story across the various blogs, news and gossip sites are saying "you need to go back to anger management because obviously it didn't work" to which i reply, how bout we just no unnecessarily provoke the man when we know, nee assume, he has anger issues! Thats like starving a lion and then rolling around in butter wine sauce and jumping in the cage with him- then getting mad when he eats your leg. Come on now. (This one I actually got from Chixta's World)
This story just doesn't make sense to me. The family calls the police to help locate their son, whom they believe has not taken his medication (he's diabetic) and that he may have taken a sleeping pill. When the police finally find the kid, they run him off the road and shoot him 3 times. WTF?!? Talk about unnecessary force! The boy was not speeding (so no need to run him off the road) and when approached by the officer did not make any movements or threat of violence- so why shoot him? And three shots at that! All of this is caught on the dash cam of the police car and of course, the officer seems to be getting off scott-free. And people wonder why folks don't trust or cooperate with the police. SMH

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

oh nollywood...

I've just finished watching this Blackberry Babes movie (Part 1&2 cuz u know now that the movie will have 1 million additional parts to it for no good reason as is the norm for naija movies lol). Now that oya baby bb nonsense that they played for almost the entire 2+ hours of the movie is stuck in my head!

Anywayz, if not for the Apollonia character and Emeka and his crazy english lol, i don't think i would have been able to make it through the whole thing. Tonto Dikeh, and  Oge Okoye (who look way too much alike) and co. were extremely annoying with their foolish accents and mannerisms. I can't understand why Tonto had those curling rods in her hair for like 90% of the film lol.

It was also rather difficult to watch after having just seen Tonto, Muna, and Ajibola Dabo together in Dirty Secret lol. Especially since their character dynamics were parallel short of the whole incest/homosexuality aspect.

I wish i had known there was a part 3&4 because I would have waited until those were released before i started watching the movie.

Now that i'm done complaining lol, the movie was ok. Not spectacular, but it was alright. Im sure that with part 3 & 4 we will see greater plot and character development.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Random stuff from this week

  • I've finally found a practicum site for the summer (actually 2, but we'll see how that works out). Im hoping all goes well with that. My biggest concern is going to be my complete lack of funds for summer since i won't be getting paid at either practicum site. 

  • In my Theories of Student Development class, we were discussing racial identity theory. I found it so hard to take seriously because the theorist was Caucasian...and how is some white man and white lady going to tell me about being black lol. There are 2 black people in the class (including me) so after we were done reviewing the theory, the professor asked our opinions on it lol. Part of me knew that was coming but another part of me didn't really expect her to ask lol. Either way, I told her that I didn't buy too much into the theory because what (most) scholars in the field of sociology/psychology/counseling etc- particularly those that aren't black- fail to realize that there is NO single black experience. There are too many different kinds of black people to ever be able to say anything is 100% black (without further classifying it as african- and even that is misleading, Caribbean, Af-Am, etc). I also stated that coming from two different "black" backgrounds (african-american and nigerian for those who don't know), i have other issues of racial/ethnic development to deal with for me to fit into that particular model.

  • Yesterday I changed my facebook profile pic to that of one with me holding my friend's new baby. I got so many messages, calls, etc asking when had i become a mommy and why i hadn't told them and blah blah blah. OMG. I think i need to take that pic down lol. Its bad enough that in the past year I know over 10 people who have given birth, but add to that that everyone insists that I am next. These people are insane if they think I'm having a baby any time soon lol. Not only am I not partaking in the behaviors that would lead to pregnancy (if you catch my drift), but i am in no way ready to be anyone's mother. 

  • I am anxiously waiting for my mom to cut into that pineapple i just saw in the fridge. I can already taste it (yay for healthy snacks)

  • I really need to learn to cook- or rather learn how to be patient enough to cook. My problem has always been that I cook when i'm hungry. So naturally the few minutes it takes to boil water alone feel like hours lol. You can imagine how my food often turns out. I'm surprised I've not had to get my stomach pumped yet for eating undercooked food lol. I do make some good stuff sometimes though.

  • I feel like giving this blog a face lift but i don't know what I want to do with it yet...

Sidenote: Thanks to everyone thats following and/or commenting on the blog- i really appreciate ya :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Basketball Wives (yeah, again...i know)

So I just finished watching both parts of the Reunion Show and ugh...its so hard to believe that these are grown women lol. The only person that really surprised me though was Royce (whom i don't like and haven't really liked since the show began). I don't know why she made it her business to be the antagonist. She was just talking out the side of her neck for no real reason. IDK, maybe she was just trying to spice up her character or get more airtime or whatever (rumors have been circulating that she may be getting kicked of the show for being so boring lol and because she is not allowed to talk about Dwight Howard) but she was beyond over the top. While most people on the blogs and message boards are applauding her for taking on Mean and Evil (aka Jen and Evelyn), I just think she was being a b*tch- which makes her no better than the rest of them.

I've always liked Jen, Gloria, and Suzie (somewhat) so i don't really have anything to say there.

Tami, also surprised me a lil bit. If you can get past her drunken episodes lol, she's actually a very wise, real, down to earth person. I respect the way she handled all the situations brought up at the reunion. And she looked absolutely gorgeous, by the way.

As for Evelyn, i actually think she gets a bad rap. Being a New Yorker myself, i feel like i understand her attitude a lot better than someone who isn't from the Big Apple. In essence, she's a one-upper. She has to have the last word. She likes to be the alpha female of the pack. I think that its just an Empire State of Mind (Jay-Z) though, because im like that too lol. I do not, however, condone any of her crazy behavior- that, im not here to defend lol.

Sidenote: That Ashley girl really grated my nerves with the whole "i was raising money to go to Africa" nonsense. Africa is a damn continent, not a city, state, or country. I hate when people reference Africa as if it is one big place where everything and everyone is the same. I hate it so so so so much. Why is it so hard to say i'm going to Nigeria, Ghana, Zimbabwe, etc? If you are going to Spain, you're not gonna say you are going to Europe...if you're going to Argentina, you're not gonna say you're going to South America (well some might lol). So i don't understand what the problem is.
I think this rant is eventually gonna get its own post lol. We'll see.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

One Lovely Blog Award

Yay...i've received an award lol. Thank you Vyvyka (a fellow blog newbie- make sure u check her out) for the acknowledgment :) I've rapidly grown to love blogging and reading other ppl's blogs. I don't know how i was getting by before lol.

Now there are some rules for receiving this lovely award. They are:

1. Link back to the blogger who gave you the award
2. I have to tell you seven facts about me you don't know - 
3. Pass the awards along to as many as fifteen blogs I have found recently 
4. Notify the bloggers of their awards

So let me proceed with 7 things you don't know about me-
  1. I am a huge chatterbox but I hate talking on the phone. I'll talk your ear off in person if u get me going on a good topic, I will text or chat with you all day, but theres just something about talking on the phone that i can't stand.
  2. I'm so lazy yet so hardworking. Quite the conundrum, i know. When there's something i want or want to do, nothing can stand in the way of my progress and diligence. But if i don't feel like doing it or am indifferent to it- it takes sooooo much to finally make me get going.
  3. I need to learn how to be more "domesticated". I don't cook (unless i have to), i can't stand cleaning (but i can't stand mess either- especially if its not mine), i have no idea what to do with kids, and i can be a terrible hostess lol. 
  4. I LOOOOOOVE music and everything that has to do with it. I love dancing, singing (although im not that great at it anymore), and miss playing my violin. 
  5. Me and veggies don't mix at all. I need to work on that. 
  6. I still keep a diary. And in fact have almost every diary i've ever written in still (in my nightstand actually). Every now and again i will open one up and take a trip down memory lane.
  7. Everyone thinks im so mean/tough but deep down im such a softy, its not even funny.
There, now that that is over with. Can i get a drumroll please...

The lovely bloggers that I am passing the One Lovely Blog Award on to are:

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

In ETERNAL Sisterhood

Had to dedicate a post to my beloved sisterhood, Lambda Psi Delta Sorority Inc- the FINEST and FIERCEST Sisterhood in the Nation. Happy 14th Anniversary Sorors!

To the 9 Black Diamonds- the women who paved the way for us, there's not a day that goes by that we don't appreciate all the work that you women have done and continue to do this organization. I am so honored to be a part of such a wonderful organization full of such wonderful and inspiring women...and its all thanks to you.

And to the rest of my beautiful sorors, my Dazzling Diamond Divas the world over...a big WAH-OOO-AAH from me to all you!

When I look at you...

Im Back Baby (in my trey songz voice)!

LOL, so im back home from my lil weekend getaway. I am so glad i took it. If i had the time and the money i would definitely make this a regular routine lol. One day though, one day...

Anywho, coming back to reality, the first thing i made sure i did was catch the episode of Basketball Wives that i missed on sunday (the hotel i stayed at did not have vh1 *insert sad face here*) and watch The Game (the first time in 3 weeks i've actually stayed up long enough to catch the episode).

I want to tackle Basketball Wives and the infamous Tami-Evelyn-Kenny sex scandal lol. Let me start by saying that i really don't care for any of the women on the show. They each have some serious character flaws. So im not taking sides based on who my favorite "character" is or anything. Anywho, usually I think Tami is way over the top with her emotional outbursts but in this particular instance, she was well within her rights. *For the benefit of those who don't follow the show- Evelyn slept with Tami's husband (at the time, they have since divorced) and claims she didn't know that he was married blah blah blah. Evelyn and Tami have becoming friends and but it is not until now that Evelyn has decided to fess up to the incident*

The sad thing about all of this is, although Tami was hurt and upset by the fact that Evelyn slept with her man, she seemed like she may have actually been able to forgive...but of course Evelyn opened her big mouth and ruined it by stating that "she didn't know/care/whatever that Kenny was married, that Tami was a non factor and nobody gave a damn that she was Kenny's wife and whatever else rude remarks were in her unwarranted tirade. Honestly, how are you going to get mad that your friend is mad that you screwed her then-husband?!? That is just senseless. Tami wasn't even being normal, over the top"crazy Tami" in this situation. She was simply explaining (and rather calmly for someone who just found out that her so-called friend f*cked her husband) that she was hurt by the fact that Evelyn hadn't divulged that information and that she found it hard to believe that she didn't know Kenny was married. I think Evelyn was all the way wrong about this whole situation. From messing with a married man to not coming clean sooner if she were gonna come clean at all (something i don't even think was necessary anyway).

SIDENOTE: in the tabloids today it said that Evelyn was not planning on coming back to Basketball Wives because she claims the producers set her up and that THEY were the ones that told Tami about her sleeping with Kenny. Source:

Additional Sidenote: I am beyond upset that the reunion is going to be a two-part episode spilt up between sunday and monday night! i need instant gratification- i can't wait a whole 24 hours to see what happens in part 2. LOL

Friday, March 4, 2011

The backless dress

I was watching Jersey Shore and Sammi had on the cutest lil purple backless bandage dress. But unfortunately i was distracted by that horrendous black bra she had on underneath that was way too visible through the dress. I hate to see women inappropriately wearing backless dresses! Now don't get me wrong, I am no fashionista nor am I the fashion police. But even someone as basic (and sometimes downright tomboyish) as me knows that there are certain rules to how one should dress.

Now you see that foolishness?!? If you are going to wear a backless dress, please ladies, wear the appropriate bra. This makes no sense whatsoever. There are bras made for every possible style and cut of dress imaginable. There is no reason why i should have to see your bra (and a bra that doesn't even match your ensemble no less). They have even come up with a 100-way convertible bra! There really is no excuse.

Now this mess here...even worse than me seeing your undergarments! Do people really have no shame?!? Now before you judge, yes i am a big girl (and therefore can talk as much smack as i like) and i know sometimes finding a sexy outfit (to keep up with your lepa/skinny-mini friends) in a double digit size isnt easy. So naturally when you do find one, you sometimes purchase it without thinking. But i am here to tell you today- JUST BECAUSE THEY MAKE IT IN YOUR SIZE DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD WEAR IT! Don't get me wrong, I think every woman should feel comfortable in her own skin and wear what makes her happy. But on the same token- you should also wear what makes you look good. And this right here...not a good look at all!

This has been a public service announcement brought to you by the one and only Lady Ngo. *No i did not take any of these pictures you see above- they all came from google*

Spring Break...FINALLY

Finally finally finally, it is spring break. Im not going anyplace special unfortunately but I am definitely getting out of my house! I've already booked my lil hotel room, made some hang out plans with friends and set aside a "Ngozi" day where no one is allowed to disturb me lol. Should be a nice weekend.

That's right, i said weekend- because the other 5 days of my spring break are going to be spent studying, cleaning up (my room is lookin a hot mess right now), studying, trying to secure a freakin practicum site...and more studying! Everyone keeps saying that all this madness i go through for school will pay off at the end of the day when I am walking across that stage and accepting my masters degree...i certainly hope so!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Why would you do that to your child???

So an Egyptian man has named his newborn daughter "Facebook" because of the instrumental role that the site played in the recent protests against Mubarak. All I can say is Jesus, please take the wheel!

Granted, the man's reasoning is understandable given the situation, but sheesh. You couldn't have at least made it the baby's middle name?!? That child is never gonna be able to get a job!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I Luv My LPsiD

Today marks the first day of Lambda Psi Delta's annual 9-day celebration of our national founding: Diamond Days. As we approach our 14th anniversary, I am more and more proud to be a duly initiated, card and certificate carrying, financial and active soror of this finest and fiercest sisterhood.

In case you didn't know: Lambda Psi Delta is a MULTICULTURAL organization founded on March 9, 1997 at Yale University by nine strong diverse women who sought to create an organization where each woman could fight for her own cause in her own community, at the same time uniting all other communities to support and aid in the struggle through the works of the sorority. We are a service based organization (for women, by women and about women) that was formed to give all women a chance to experience TRUE sisterhood. We are devoted to fulfilling the five tenets of: 

Intellectual Development

Empowerment of Women
Cultural Awareness
Upliftment of the Community

For more information about the finest and fiercest sisterhood in the nation, visit us at