Monday, February 28, 2011

DO people really do that???

For as long as I can remember, I have been a very avid reader of Cosmopolitan (don't judge me oh!). Why I do not have a subscription, I dont know...especially since i literally buy almost every monthly issue and have been doing so for at least 4-5 years now.

Now that I shared with you my Cosmo Credentials, I will go on to say that Cosmo is nothing but an entertaining rip-off lol. Every issue of this magazine is almost identical to the last. I mean really, how many different sets of "99 ways to please my man" can there possibly be in this world? I mainly read for giggles (and sometimes out of curiosity for those 99 ways to please my non-existent/future man) because some of the "reader provided" stories and anecdotes are just too funny.

In  addition to being beyond hilarious, some of the things people are claiming to have done or enjoy are just too ridiculous for words. Month after month, i find myself reading and saying "wow, do people really do/enjoy that?" What further gets me is, what possessed you to try this activity in the first place to even be able to ascertain whether or not it is enjoyable? Some (non xxx-rated) examples from the January issue include:

  • "sweep your boobs over the back of his neck (not that bad really but still made me raise my eyebrow)
  • "he can insert his penis where the underside of your boob meets your ribs" (really tho?!?)
  • "lick his eyelids and then blow on your saliva" (thats just nasty)
  • "my wife put lube on the inside of her forearm and slid her arm back and forth between my upper thighs" (how did u even think of this???)
Ok, those were some pretty tame examples. For the sake of the fact that i have no clue who will be checking out this blog i will say for more "out there" stories, pick up an issue of Cosmo.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Too many topics for one title

For the past week i've had so many things i've wanted to blog about. And every time i've sat down to start writing, something has come up. So this post is going to be a mini-compilation of all the crap that i've been hearing/thinking about as of late.

"Single Husbands" by HoneyB aka Mary B Morrison
In short the book is about 3 men who are married but out smashing anything that moves lol. One hates his wife, the other only married his wife for convenience (but still is somewhat trying to make it work) and the last one treats his wife like a queen (but that doesn't put a leash on his goods). Like most books, there are some "book club" discussion questions at the end. All i can say is someone has obviously wronged Ms. HoneyB lol. She is bitter as hell towards the idea of marriage. Her entire intro to the book was the argument that nowhere in your vows does it flat-out say that you have to be faithful to your partner. So going in, it seems like her whole purpose in writing the book is to prove that point.; Her first discussion question was "has reading this story changed your opinion about faithfulness in marriage" (or something along those lines). My answer is hell to the no lol. Nothing is going to make me find cheating and infidelity as acceptable- certainly not a fictional tale filled with all kinds of ridiculous drama and unnecessary risks. If nothing else, there are too many damn STDs in this world for me to be ok with my man out there f*cking everything that moves.

It was a decent read though. I would suggest it as a casual read.

Internet Dating
IDK why all my friends think im so against internet dating lol. People will literally not tell me about their S.O.s because they think im gonna judge them based on  the way they met them. Sooooo not the case. I've found some interesting ppl online my damn self. So im no stranger to the whole e-dating thing. But i will say this: like any other relationship, i believe an internet relationship should develop organically. That is to say, I would date someone that i met online but i wouldn't go online with the specific intention of finding someone to date. So theres no eHarmony, or in my near future. Maybe if i hit like 27 and i dont even have a boyfriend i might expand my options (my biological clock is already ticking, im sure by then the alarm will be blaring in my ears lol) but for now i dont see the point in seeking out a relationship.

Im Surrounded by Ambitious Individuals
Well apparently i'm surrounded by ambitious STORYTELLERS lol. See, it pays to follow ur first instinct when you think someone is on that bulls#it! Moving right along...

Funny stuff in the news

Basically some chick beat the crap outta her roommate for stealing her thin mints LMAO. Honestly, as ridiculous as this story is, I can relate lol. Girl Scout cookies only come once a year and if i came home to find my s#it gone, i might have to pay my roomie a visit too lol. But on the flipside, you can freakin get girl scout cookies at WalMart for like $2. Yeah, they are "Great Value" brand and im not positive which types of cookies they have (i like tagalongs so thats all im concerned with buying) but i know they definitely have the thin mints. There is no reason to go to jail over cookies man lol

Friday, February 18, 2011

Dirty Secret

So im wondering, does it make me a pervert or some sort of sexual deviant that im dying to see this Dirty Secret movie?!? lol. So many people are so up in arms about it. Granted, that plot line is quite disturbing and i can understand why the sexually repressed in public/sexual deviants in private conservative Nigerians would have a problem with it. But really its just entertainment to me. Maybe thats just my "akata" mindset kicking in. IDK, either way, if anyone knows where i can find this movie, let me know lol!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

just a lil something that made me giggle

so a male friend of mine was flippin through my facebook pics and the following convo ensues:

Guy Friend: Yo i was jus lookin through some of your pics and your friend *blank* is sexy as hell!
Me: *cricket, cricket*
Guy Friend: But you're sexier though...
Me: -__-
Guy Friend: and I'M the SEXIEST!
Me: lmao- you're the sexiest? who told u that one?
Guy Friend: na me now! See this 6 pack?!? how can anybody beat that???
Me: rolling on the floor laughing

I love it when im not the only person in the convo sayin silly s#!t lol. 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

When keepin it real goes wrong: UK vs Naija edition

So i was surfing the blogs when i came across this post on Nawa 4 you oh!. In short, a UK resident has been arrested and sentenced to 8 months in jail because she sent her 17 year old son to live in Naija wit his dad due to behavior issues.

Supposedly the boy felt like he was gonna be sent to Naija and forced to get married (which for a male is nowhere near as big a deal as if he were a woman, IMO). So when he turned up missing the boy's mom was called into court and ordered to make arrangements for his return. When she didnt, she was sentenced to 8 months in jail. They say that since he is a UK citizen/resident/whatever, that he has the right to continue living there and that this is somehow a violation of his human rights.

This just absolutely blew my mind. Since when is it a crime to send your child back home? The kid just came to UK as a 10 year old. Its not like he was born there and she just packed him up and sent him away to some foreign land that he knew nothing about. And my goodness, its only Naija. Its not like she sent him to Kuwait for goodness sake. He is with family and im sure he's fine.

Really im still in shock. I can't even imagine. These are the links to the story:

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Me and You

Check out this new song by up and coming Naija artist SlashWisdom. Joint is hot...just in time for valentine's day!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Its not me, so it must be YOU

What is wrong with guys these days? Like seriously, i dont just understand them. Especially the ones that you are ignoring/avoiding/running away from/etc. Has the following ever happened to you:

You're dating and relating talking to a guy and he says or does something that just ticks you off so you decide to stop talking to this person. Some time passes and out of the blue they start trying to contact you. Not wanting to be completely mean, you just kinda shrug it off. When they see that they aren't in your good graces they ask "Whats wrong with you? Are you sad/depressed? Do you need some company?"

What the hell? No nothing is wrong with me dude, its your ass! Are we just going to ignore that fact that i have completely cut you off for x-amount of months/years/lifetimes? I clearly don't want to talk to you. Because im not being your lap dog there must be something wrong with me?!? Oh and do i want some company?!? Are you kidding. If i've not talked to you in however long, what in the world makes you think that i want you to come and get it poppin keep me company?!? 

Sadly, this has happened to me so many times i've lost count. I suppose the simple solution would be to tell people to leave me the hell alone since obviously being subtle doesnt work.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

I Think Im a Mean Girl

Ok, so not really a mean girl, but i think somewhere along the line (particularly in the past couple of weeks) i have lost my niceness. I have always been really sarcastic and rarely do i hold my tongue- so im sure if i really turned into a mean girl no one would notice anyway- but im also a very caring, sensitive, and giving person.

Lately however, I have stopped being able to hold back the mean thoughts lol. I've barely been able to keep a handle on my mouth. And I find that in regards to a lot of things/people that were once important to me- i just don't give a f*** anymore. I don't know why that is. Im interested to see how things are going to continue to play out. *kanye shrug*

Friday, February 4, 2011

Thank goodness

I am so glad to be done with that yeye presentation jo! I've never been so relieved as when i said "the end" and took my seat. I felt like i was standing in front of that room talking for 45 years instead of 45 minutes!

But of course, now i have another project to work on in another class and exam to take (for which i have read non of the chapter yet) by tuesday night. Na wa for this graduate school nonsense!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I'm in love...

with Flavour's music. Like idk what rock i had been under in 2010 but this guys songs...i've been missin out sha! I, like everybody else was bumpin Nwa Baby (despite the crazy vulgar lyrics lol). But idk, one day a few months back i just happened to listen to Oyi and i fell in love. The guy is extremely talented and slept on in the US (or at least in my naija/african circles). Even now i have my Flavour playlist on repeat. I can listen to Adamma all day (and in some cases i have) and Pant No N'iro...don't even get me started.

So to Flavour i say a hearty more grease to your elbow sir. I enjoy your music too much. Keep up the good work!

Here are a few of my favorites: